[haleylaurel]

will i ever be normal?
can i overcome BPD?

[shakespeare47]

Welcome to the message board. I'm a new-comer myself. I haven't been diagnosed as having BPD, but I do exhibit quite a few of the traits.

Unfortunately, I can't answer your questions.... I have been reading about the disorder and it's treatment, and watching any youtube video I can find that deals with BPD.

[Lefty_Mac]

Unfortunately Haley, no...it's a struggle through our entire existence, but were are capable of improving ourselves and be capable of leading a better life. The demons are always gonna be there, but we can be able to face em head on eventually - but they won't go away. It's just a matter of learning to live with it without suffering too much - THAT we are able to do. But the struggle is eternal. PM me or anything else if you need, okay?
Love,
W.

[shakespeare47]

It helps me to remind myself, that in many ways, I have problems because of a crappy childhood. I didn't ask for these problems. I can't stop there, though. I am responsible for getting the help I need.

[i dont matter]

I am not a general - so I can not answer the question.

[jean17]

I agree here with some others. I do not think that we can ever be cured. We can hopefully get help that will let us live a more stable, gentler life.

[ifst5]

No. Only our perspective can change. If you can seriously consider what might help in surviving the difficult symptoms and begin to appreciate that BPD doesn't necessarily have to be like a death sentence, you won't be cured but you'll most likely be doing yourself a favour.

I personally feel there are no solely good or solely bad experiences in life. Just many, many variants in between. Feeling emotions as strongly as we do can be dreadful a lot of the time, but because of this we have a much greater capacity for empathy. Another example would be that because there are often no clear answers to our difficulties, we have to become creative if we're to have the chance of a solution. Creativity never runs out, it just multiplies and can be applied to many different aspects of life. I could go on but my point is not to try and console you or tell you to feel differently, i just thought i'd share my own view of BPD. I wish you all the best in your discoveries.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

I disagree. I think that you can be normal and you can overcome DBT. It's with a treatment called Dialetical Behavioral Therapy. It is not easy, but if you are willing to do the work you can get better.

[ifst5]

My only problem with that is no two people are affected by a particular therapy in the same way. Many people have not responded AT ALL to DBT. Then there are those who have become worse because of it. There's still no clinical evidence to certify that it works. I'm not saying its a fluke - and I'm relieved that something does work for a lot of people but I'm just concerned that others for whom it doesn't will feel like failures or that they're beyond help. Both of which isn't true. I've been told by DBT practitioners that there is no cure, but even they agreed there's definitely more than one way of skinning a cat. I think greater awareness of what's outside of DBT might be useful.

[shakespeare47]

I listened to Dr. Joseph Shannon talk about Personality disorders today

and he suggests that BPD's will always need to be in some type of therapy..

... sigh...

Maybe he's just worried about his job security.

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by haleylaurel

will i ever be normal?
can i overcome BPD?

uhh, probably not.
i don't think you can "overcome' it but i do believe you can contain it.

essentially BPD is part of what we are, our personality if you will.
it's very difficult to try and change something like that.

basically you would have to totally "unlearn" who you are.

me personally..i hate the mood swings..but i like being me, i don't really want to change who i am..i just want to manage my emotions a lil better.

i don't want to eliminate them all together, just sometimes turn down the intensity a bit.

BPD can be challenging at times..but would you really not want to be you & become someone else?

Of the subjects with borderline personality disorder, 34.5% met the criteria for remission at 2 years, 49.4% at 4 years, 68.6% at 6 years, and 73.5% over the entire follow-up. Only 5.9% of those with remissions experienced recurrences.

These results suggest that symptomatic improvement is both common and stable, even among the most disturbed borderline patients, and that the symptomatic prognosis for most, but not all, severely ill borderline patients is better than previously recognized.

The longitudinal course of borderline psycho... [Am J Psychiatry. 2003] - PubMed - NCBI

Three major findings emerged from this study. The first is that remissions were common, increasing over the course of 6 years of follow-up and eventually including almost three-quarters of the borderline patients who were reinterviewed at least once.

The second finding is that recurrences were rare. This also appears to be a new finding and suggests that once a borderline patient has met criteria for a remission of borderline personality disorder, the likelihood of a substantial and sustained recrudescence of symptoms is small.

PsychiatryOnline | American Journal of Psychiatry | The Longitudinal Course of Borderline Psychopathology: 6-Year Prospective Follow-Up of the Phenomenology of Borderline Personality Disorder

Given time and a lot of hard work it is entirely possible to reduce the symptoms of BPD to a manageable level. We'll probably always be slightly odd in comparison to others who have never been disordered but we won't always feel like raging lunatics.

[Lefty_Mac]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

I disagree. I think that you can be normal and you can overcome DBT. It's with a treatment called Dialetical Behavioral Therapy. It is not easy, but if you are willing to do the work you can get better.

"NORMAL"?? WHO's normal? DBT is good for some people, but don't kid yourself.

[haleylaurel]

Originally Posted by trying2survive

uhh, probably not.
i don't think you can "overcome' it but i do believe you can contain it.

essentially BPD is part of what we are, our personality if you will.
it's very difficult to try and change something like that.

basically you would have to totally "unlearn" who you are.

me personally..i hate the mood swings..but i like being me, i don't really want to change who i am..i just want to manage my emotions a lil better.

i don't want to eliminate them all together, just sometimes turn down the intensity a bit.

BPD can be challenging at times..but would you really not want to be you & become someone else?

yes absolutely, i hate myself. i'm worthless and the world would be better off without me. i wish i didn't exist.

[haleylaurel]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

I disagree. I think that you can be normal and you can overcome DBT. It's with a treatment called Dialetical Behavioral Therapy. It is not easy, but if you are willing to do the work you can get better.

i tried DBT already. it just made me angry. it's just a bunch of worthless distractions.

[haleylaurel]

Originally Posted by Lefty_Mac

"NORMAL"?? WHO's normal? DBT is good for some people, but don't kid yourself.

other people are normal. i want to be normal, someone other than me.

[shakespeare47]

I've met some people who are supposedly "normal". There are some mixed up crazy people out there without a personality disorder, IMHO. I'd rather be someone with BPD, who knows his issues, and what to do to live a healthy life. As long as I'm living doing what I need to take care of myself and live a good life, and have some fulfilling relationships, what do I care what people think of me... or that I BPD?

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by haleylaurel

yes absolutely, i hate myself. i'm worthless and the world would be better off without me. i wish i didn't exist.

you may hate how you feel & at times yourself too..but this will pass.our moods swing quite often.

let me assure you that you are not worthless, you may feel that way..again the feeling will pass in time. you exist for a reason..now idk what it is but i am sure some good will come of it.

consider this..the feeling you feel when us BPD's are in love, when we idealize someone..to me it is the greatest feeling in the world and i would not trade it for anything. the intensity is amazing..we feel so alive, it's the times like these that keep me going when otherwise i am ready to quit.

hang in there, it does get better all of our emotions come and go like the wind, they never stay constant( thank goodness).
so no..the world wouldn't be better off without you & it just might be a lil bit better place because you're in it! hang in there!

[Lefty_Mac]

Originally Posted by haleylaurel

other people are normal. i want to be normal, someone other than me.

Be yourself - you're better off that way. I respect you and see you for what you really are, and not your illnesses, but it's these 'other normal people' who actually contribute to a worser world we live in. Perfection is an illusion.

[LemonZest35]

I've spent a lot of time thinking about that - whether I will ever be "normal." At this point in my life, after four years of therapy, my perspective is that although I will be able to change how I deal with my emotions (thus improving the quality of my life), I will always have strong emotions. I can't think of a time when my emotions weren't extreme.

It gives me some relief to know that I can make my situation better. But realistically, I think I need to come to terms with the fact that I am a very passionate person. And that's not such a bad thing.

In fact, haleylaurel, a lot of people with BPD are highly empathetic. They not only see others' pain but feel it. Do you find that you have that experience as well? I think it is a real gift to be able to truly be in the moment with someone else, 100%, and feel where they are coming from.

I totally get where you're coming from (man, do I ever - especially today...) I often wish I could be "normal" too. But I do have to admit that there are certain aspects of the way we are that are quite beautiful and unique. And I promise that you will find good people in your life who will see that and adore you for who you are.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Originally Posted by ifst5

My only problem with that is no two people are affected by a particular therapy in the same way. Many people have not responded AT ALL to DBT. Then there are those who have become worse because of it. There's still no clinical evidence to certify that it works. I'm not saying its a fluke - and I'm relieved that something does work for a lot of people but I'm just concerned that others for whom it doesn't will feel like failures or that they're beyond help. Both of which isn't true. I've been told by DBT practitioners that there is no cure, but even they agreed there's definitely more than one way of skinning a cat. I think greater awareness of what's outside of DBT might be useful.

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by LemonZest35

I've spent a lot of time thinking about that - whether I will ever be "normal." At this point in my life, after four years of therapy, my perspective is that although I will be able to change how I deal with my emotions (thus improving the quality of my life), I will always have strong emotions. I can't think of a time when my emotions weren't extreme.

It gives me some relief to know that I can make my situation better. But realistically, I think I need to come to terms with the fact that I am a very passionate person. And that's not such a bad thing.

In fact, haleylaurel, a lot of people with BPD are highly empathetic. They not only see others' pain but feel it. Do you find that you have that experience as well? I think it is a real gift to be able to truly be in the moment with someone else, 100%, and feel where they are coming from.

I totally get where you're coming from (man, do I ever - especially today...) I often wish I could be "normal" too. But I do have to admit that there are certain aspects of the way we are that are quite beautiful and unique. And I promise that you will find good people in your life who will see that and adore you for who you are.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

i couldn't agree with you more!

[haleylaurel]

Originally Posted by LemonZest35

I've spent a lot of time thinking about that - whether I will ever be "normal." At this point in my life, after four years of therapy, my perspective is that although I will be able to change how I deal with my emotions (thus improving the quality of my life), I will always have strong emotions. I can't think of a time when my emotions weren't extreme.

It gives me some relief to know that I can make my situation better. But realistically, I think I need to come to terms with the fact that I am a very passionate person. And that's not such a bad thing.

In fact, haleylaurel, a lot of people with BPD are highly empathetic. They not only see others' pain but feel it. Do you find that you have that experience as well? I think it is a real gift to be able to truly be in the moment with someone else, 100%, and feel where they are coming from.

I totally get where you're coming from (man, do I ever - especially today...) I often wish I could be "normal" too. But I do have to admit that there are certain aspects of the way we are that are quite beautiful and unique. And I promise that you will find good people in your life who will see that and adore you for who you are.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

thank you. that means a lot to me. you made my day with this post.