[cryingontheinside]

I am i the only one with bpd who finds it really hard to motivate themselves to do anything or to go out. I feel like im the only one in the world and to others i must seem lazy but my negative thinking and axiety and lack of sleep prevents me from just getting on with it. Im really confused. I like to isolate my self too as i feel safer and dont have to worry about people judging me for being lazy when im not lazy by chioce. Its like my mind wont let me do thinks. I know that sounds stupid but its absolutely true. I wish i could work and lead a normal life.

[glok]

Hello, cryingontheinside. Have you talked to a professional about this?

I wish you well.

[MoxieDoxie]

No Crying I was like that also but thought that was from my PTSD but could also have been from the BPD. I can still get like that. Been like that all weekend.

[cryingontheinside]

I hate being like this. I wad starting to get out and about but then this evil woman done some seriously spiteful things towards me and since then i have struggled to motivate, to go out and be around people. This a year ago i should be over it by now, i dont want her to have power over me by me being like i am now. I wish i could just snap out of it.

I know exactly how you feel. I hate being like this. I have to set small goals for myself every day. Something simple like take a shower by a certain time, empty the dishwasher, sweep the kitchen, make dinner, etc. I also have people call me to make sure I am doing something. It helps to be accountable. Just yesterday I had lunch plans. I had the person call me at 10 to make sure I was moving and motivated to go. It helped.

[Cynefrid]

Doesn't sound stupid to me. You're not the only one. I understand its not lazyness.

[cryingontheinside]

Thank you all for your posts. I was srarting to think i was the only one, not that i want anyone to go through this. Im really trying to push my self esp as my daughter wants to come and live with me so i really need to push my self.

[Nxi2]

Originally Posted by cryingontheinside

I am i the only one with bpd who finds it really hard to motivate themselves to do anything or to go out. I feel like im the only one in the world and to others i must seem lazy but my negative thinking and axiety and lack of sleep prevents me from just getting on with it. Im really confused. I like to isolate my self too as i feel safer and dont have to worry about people judging me for being lazy when im not lazy by chioce. Its like my mind wont let me do thinks. I know that sounds stupid but its absolutely true. I wish i could work and lead a normal life.

It's true! I wish I could lead a normal life too. But we can't, as we've got BPD. It's as much a part of us as having hair. But, like our hair, we can style the symptoms a bit - therapy is the ABSOLUTE first step to take, and the hardest step as well, especially if you hate people.

I hate people too. I hide away and I try not to let people near me, because I'm unstable and I'll end up hurting them. So I try not to let anyone close, because I'm nice.

The problem is, that's buggered up logic. It's not actually true - it's just my mind making me believe it's true. Challenging that assumption took a hell of a lot of nerve on my part.

But it went!

[shakespeare47]

Originally Posted by cryingontheinside

I am i the only one with bpd who finds it really hard to motivate themselves to do anything or to go out. I feel like im the only one in the world and to others i must seem lazy but my negative thinking and axiety and lack of sleep prevents me from just getting on with it. Im really confused. I like to isolate my self too as i feel safer and dont have to worry about people judging me for being lazy when im not lazy by chioce. Its like my mind wont let me do thinks. I know that sounds stupid but its absolutely true. I wish i could work and lead a normal life.

I've been there. I've been getting out lately to spend time with some new friends, and that has it's challenges... But, I'm having trouble getting anything done at work.

[ifst5]

Yes. I feel like i'm living my life on pause. I don't deny that laziness probably does make up some small part of it, but mostly it's this feeling of being sapped of life force. BPD is known for having depressive traits. Maybe this is what causes it. Generally though the situations BPD sufferers can find themselves are depressing. For example, there can be difficulties in holding down employment, continued family/relationship difficulties, inaccessible care, poor housing, addiction. Not to mention the stigma/discrimination that comes with involving any outside authority in assisting with those issues. My point is that your situation is hardly uncommon or surprising - we have it pretty rough. I hope you can find your way through.

[Mustkeepjob32]

I feel like you too. I hardly ever go out of my house and taking a shower has become a difficult task for me to do, so difficult I don't do it everyday. My best friend thinks I'm lazy, but if he only knew how depressed and anxious I felt. I guess to outsiders it looks like laziness. You are not alone.

[cryingontheinside]

Thank you. I know acactely what you mean

[Notoriousglo]

Same... I don't really enjoy going out for fun things either, which is weird. I just always thought this behavior was related to my depression. I feel badly about myself for it. **Hugs**