[DemiDeveraux]

Hey guys.

I haven't been present for a while, because I thought my borderline was on the better hand. I recently realised this was far from true. I'm somehow in denial again. I've been seeing a therapist for 6 months now. All we do is talk about my life and problems and he gives me some advice in return. I noticed he doesn't really get to me. Most of the things he says I already know. But knowing something doesn't make you apply it to your way of life.

I took Cipralex for about 4 months, but I was getting completely numb. I had no feelings at all, so I stopped with the meds. (I had no side-effects or relapses after stopping)

So, I wonder if there is a better treatment for borderline, more effective than just talking about my problems.. Because this isn't helping me very much.

Thanks for the help you guys
Love Demi

[gma45]

Hi Demi, There probably is something you can take that will help you. I would talk with my doctor and see what he says. I have been to therapist like that, it really didn't help me either. I could talk with my good friend it was cheaper. lol! I hope you can find someone and some meds that will really help you. It also helps if you are not in denial, At least you recognize that, which is good. Glad you are back. I know this place helps me more than a lot of other things I have tried. Hope to see ya around more. I wish you the best.

[DemiDeveraux]

Originally Posted by gma45

Hi Demi, There probably is something you can take that will help you. I would talk with my doctor and see what he says. I have been to therapist like that, it really didn't help me either. I could talk with my good friend it was cheaper. lol! I hope you can find someone and some meds that will really help you. It also helps if you are not in denial, At least you recognize that, which is good. Glad you are back. I know this place helps me more than a lot of other things I have tried. Hope to see ya around more. I wish you the best.

Thank you gma45!
About taking meds though, my psychiatrist said there was nothing she could give me, expect for cipralex. I'm not depressed, yet very suicidal. I have many panic attacks and I'm losing grip on reality very often. She says only psychotherapy can help me with that...

[Trippin2.0]

You may very well be doing a type of therapy that is not beneficial to BPD or you in particular, as there are different approaches that can be used.

I started therapy a few months ago too, and was very adamant at the very first meeting that I wasn't looking for a confidant or an archeologist. Told him straight up that I have dealt with my childhood demons and they will only be referenced when relevant to my present, and that I have great friends who readily listen to me ramble, whine and fume.
And that they're available at all hours too!


Told him, that what I did want from therapy, is someone to help me not be a b!tch to my daughter and bf.

DBT is usually recommended for BPD, but since its so intensive, I didn't have the time available to be able to commit to it.

I would like to give it a go in future tho.

So atm, my therapy is a combo of therapy models, based upon my needs per session.
Sometimes its CBT based, when my thought patterns and perceptions are skewed, we work on rectifying them. Sometimes its goal orientated and I actually get homework, and sometimes its about aquiring new coping skills while I'm struggling through something particularly difficult...

So the point of my ramble is that you may want to take a look into different types of therapy, then discuss with your T about which model would be better suited to you and if they don't practice it to please refer you to someone who does.

[shezbut]

Hi Demi,

I can understand where you're coming from. I've had T's that weren't particularly helpful to me before as well. It was hard for me to be strong and leave them, but I did.

My T is like Trippin's. While he supports me getting back into group DBT, my T isn't one particular denomination of T styles. Different problems that I have require different T styles. I haven't been good for a while (several months of teeter-tottering behavior & emotions) so my T actively supported a thought I had that maybe I should get back into DBT group.

That's not to say that my T isn't helpful to me. Actually, he is great! But, I can only see him twice/month for an hour each time. That's not enough. With my emotions bouncing around like a ping-pong ball, and me allowing my emotions to guide me in relationships....the result isn't pretty. I also do take medicines as well. But, they're taken to help me get through my night terrors, major depression, etc.

I hope that I haven't lost you... My point is, different techniques work for different people. We don't always "click" with a T. And, IMO, that's when we ought to look for another, because this is deep, personal stuff that we're sharing. We ought to feel safe and cared for by the person (T) that we're sharing all of our stuff with.

Very best wishes to you! Don't let your feelings escape you entirely. You need more!

[DemiDeveraux]

Originally Posted by shezbut

Hi Demi,

I can understand where you're coming from. I've had T's that weren't particularly helpful to me before as well. It was hard for me to be strong and leave them, but I did.

My T is like Trippin's. While he supports me getting back into group DBT, my T isn't one particular denomination of T styles. Different problems that I have require different T styles. I haven't been good for a while (several months of teeter-tottering behavior & emotions) so my T actively supported a thought I had that maybe I should get back into DBT group.

That's not to say that my T isn't helpful to me. Actually, he is great! But, I can only see him twice/month for an hour each time. That's not enough. With my emotions bouncing around like a ping-pong ball, and me allowing my emotions to guide me in relationships....the result isn't pretty. I also do take medicines as well. But, they're taken to help me get through my night terrors, major depression, etc.

I hope that I haven't lost you... My point is, different techniques work for different people. We don't always "click" with a T. And, IMO, that's when we ought to look for another, because this is deep, personal stuff that we're sharing. We ought to feel safe and cared for by the person (T) that we're sharing all of our stuff with.

Very best wishes to you! Don't let your feelings escape you entirely. You need more!

Hi shezbut,

I will discuss this with my T.
I'm just a little scared that it will come across as me not liking him as my therapist anymore. Which is actually true. I'm so annoyed sometimes. He tells me the exact same thing every session and isn't aware of him telling me before. I will definitely discuss DBT though.

Also, I read you take meds for night terrors?
My doctor once told me there was nothing I could do about them?

Love, Demi

[Kimaya]

I am in the same situation... I like my therapist a lot as a person but I don't think we are doing the right therapy. I read somewhere that BPDs in CBT therapy can derail because the BPD is constantly in crisis and so the root causes never get addressed. I think this is happening with mine. I am considering going back, but I am scared to, honestly.

My problems are with getting my life trajectory back on track, which from what I have read DBT doesn't really help with as most people who have received the therapy do not hold down a job or only a job that will not sustain them. So, with how intensive it is (frequent) I doubt I would be able to really commit myself to it, either. Plus it doesn't have the benefit I need most.

GL on talking to your therapist, it is the right move!

[shezbut]

Demi

I can understand the situation that you're describing very well.

Yes, I take prazosin to control my night terrors. I've skipped a night or two here and there, and I always wake to resent it! It really stinks. Is your T a pDoc (a psychiatrist who is licensed to prescribe meds) or a regular T (a psychologist or social worker)? My T is a psychologist, but he and my pDoc are definitely on the same page...so, that does help.

I wish you the very best ~ be strong when talking to him. He is working for you...NOT the other way around. ((((hugs)))))

[Nxi2]

Demi, this is nuts. If your therapist isn't working, discuss the problem with him. It might be that he is not perceiving your problem, or it might be that you're just not a good match. Sometimes that's all it is.

Meds don't work for BPD by and large. Therapy is the way to go.

And also, the average course of therapy for BPD is 5 years, not 5 months. You have got to give it time.

[ifst5]

Meds are actually growing in importance with regards to the treatment of BPD - it's just that not enough money is getting thrown at research so newer developments come about much slower. You might decide that medication will form an important part of your treatment plan but of course it would have to be carefully discussed with your treatment provider. Psych meds are not for everyone and it's not necessarily an easy, straightforward process. But only you can decide what risks you want to take and whether you're prepared to persist if necessary. The current mainline of medicinal treatment for BPD is second gen. anti psychotics and/or mood stabilizers.

In terms of therapy there are many forms available, some older some newer and access to each one will depend on your insurance policy, where you live, etc etc. DBT is currently considered the gold standard of treatment and is usually involves a 1-2 year program of both individual and group sessions - but if that is too over conceptualized there is also MBT, though this is still not yet widely available. Some people get on better with less generalized individual psycho-therapeutic talking sessions. I wouldn't generally recommend psycho-dynamic work as BPD requires something a bit more intensive/long term. I hope i've been of some help. My advice would be to do your research, don't give in and keep using available resources to best effect. All the best.

[June155]

Hey, I had the same problem. I also took Cipralex but stopped taking them because of the many side effects. Now I'm starting PRI therapy and even though it's just the beginning it's already helping me a lot. Here's a link with all the information about the therapy, talking to the new T itself gave me a lot of insights in all my defence mechanisms no other therapist ever gave me before..
PRI therapy possibilities
I think it's definitely worth looking into. (especially since you're also from Belgium, I have a very good one in Brussels..)

Originally Posted by DemiDeveraux

Hey guys.

I haven't been present for a while, because I thought my borderline was on the better hand. I recently realised this was far from true. I'm somehow in denial again. I've been seeing a therapist for 6 months now. All we do is talk about my life and problems and he gives me some advice in return. I noticed he doesn't really get to me. Most of the things he says I already know. But knowing something doesn't make you apply it to your way of life.

I took Cipralex for about 4 months, but I was getting completely numb. I had no feelings at all, so I stopped with the meds. (I had no side-effects or relapses after stopping)

So, I wonder if there is a better treatment for borderline, more effective than just talking about my problems.. Because this isn't helping me very much.

Thanks for the help you guys
Love Demi

Hello, my friend, what I have to tell you is both encouraging and not. I apologize if you already know all this.

First off, if you're not "feelin it" with your current therapist, it's time to move on. Trust your instincts is what I think. I did the same with my therapist. As humans, it's tough to detach ourselves from another person (esp one we see as a potential savior), but it can be a life/death decision in the long run. Ditch the current therapist, but first find another one.

We borderlines are unique in that our symptoms present in SO MANY DIFFERENT VARIETIES that there are no universally applicable meds for BPD. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that there are NO MEDS that SPECIFICALLY help with BPD symptoms, LONG-TERM.

This is because our condition is characterized more by long-term patterns of self-defeating behavior, as opposed to chemical imbalances which can be treated with SSRIs or SNRIs (or whatever else).

So, a behavioral therapy like DBT is most recommended, for BPD anyway, and I've heard great things about it. I say - don't wait another minute, find a DBT program close to you and take it seriously and get through it. I'm gonna do the same, very soon.

Hope this helps. Good luck, and hugs