Doggone paranoia

I am so scared that my bf is going to break up with me, I'm pulling away a-g-a-i-n. I've taken all of my stuff out of his apartment & would've shoved the key under his door, but there's no leeway for that.

And, while I'm pulling away, I don't want to. I hate it! But, I also don't want my bf to say that he really doesn't want my things to be in his place. That hurts too bad..I can't take that!

I don't have any technical reasons to assume that it's over between Eric & I. But, he barely called me while he was gone (10 days). He called me a total of 3 times in that time period. I tried very hard to give Eric his space and called him 3 times. Not bad, right? I went with the flow of conversation & time on the phone was less than one hour total. Probably a total of 45 minutes in that 10 days. Is that good??

I told Eric how much I missed him, and he didn't say that he missed me. He doesn't want to see me tonight, as he's getting in late & just wants to hit the hay when he finally gets home. No lovey remarks or tone of voice.

I am feeling so many negative thoughts. I just keep going down lower and lower.

shezbut, How long have you and Eric been together? This will be hard, but try to give him some space if he is just returning home from a trip. Maybe he needs to just unwind and chillout on his own.

We have been together for more than 5 years. The past year has been very rocky though.

shezbut, Five years - that's a serious commitment. Would you both consider seeing a relationship counsellor to see if your partnership can be made better?

I would, and Eric said that he might (which blew me away!). I am hoping that we are able to fix things between us. I know that I'm highly reactive, and that is something that I'm working on (again) in DBT. Part of me is just so tired of trying to fix myself though, ya know? Man, it's hard!

Eric called me about 30 minutes ago, and relieved my high anxiety. Ahhh... I'm feeling better now. Just a little fatigued from those intense emotions!