[LibraryDweller77]

After reading a lot about BPD on this forum, I looked up a quiz that's supposed to assess whether you may have BPD. It seems like impulsive and self-destructive behaviors are one of the biggest characteristics of the disorder. It's hard to say whether I have that problem, though, because I don't cut myself, make suicidal attempts, etc. but on the other hand, I do spend quite a bit of money I shouldn't spend. At the same time, I'm kind of a responsible impulsive spender. I have frequent urges to go shopping, but once I'm at the mall, I bargain shop like nobody's business -- most of the time, I wind up leaving with things like a shirt I paid $3 for, an off-season candle I got at 75% off, a pair of shoes I paid $13 for, etc. I don't need these things by any stretch, but I'm also not putting myself into debt splurging on $400 purses. What exactly counts as impulsive or self-destructive spending?

I think a good measure is whether or not a symptom or behavior causes problems in your life; in this case, going into debt or giving up medication or food to bankroll a spending habit, something that is going to have repercussions. Yours doesn't sound problematic in that way. Does it feel like it to you?

[unaluna]

You could be a "fritterer". We feel like we dont deserve the big stuff, and no one will yell at us for the little stuff, but it does add up. Death by a thousand cuts?

[HazelGirl]

My thought is that impulsive spending is non-necessary spending done without forethought that puts you into a financially difficult situation. Basically, it's spending money you don't have on things you don't need without any thought as to why you're doing it.

[lilypup]

We set up a budget and I have $400 a month or $100 a week to spend. When I go over that, my husband gets pissed and I know I am hypo.

[Abe Froman]

New social worker that was assessing me said once a month or more. Which I probably do, but I don't feel like I have a problem with it. Just that sometimes at Target or whatever I'll go in for one thing and then go a little wild.

[Espresso]

I've also wondered what qualifies as impulsive or reckless behavior in terms of BPD. From what I've read, HazelGirl's explanation is spot-on. But it still leaves some room for subjectivity, doesn't it? If I have a week where I intend to spend $100 on groceries and necessities and end up spending $500 easy on all sorts of things, does it count if spending the money doesn't cause immediate financial distress? It wasn't in the budget, I wasn't supposed to spend that much, but I did it anyway. And (slightly off topic), what about reckless driving? I frequently go 20+ mph over the speed limit and I love it. But does that count? I was going to continue with examples from eating and alcohol, but I guess I'm getting off topic.

[HD7970GHZ]

Interesting thread - and something I've been contemplating recently as well.

I think the important thing to recognized where, "impulsive spending," is concerned, particular to Borderline Personality Disorder - is that it simply is, "impulsive spending."

We can't possibly hope to define what is - and what is not, "spending too much or too little." That is purely subjective and depends on many factors.

I think the important thing to realize is that for some of us - spending is a way to fill a void, and in my experience it works... Temporarily... If I catch my eye on something and I feel the impulse to go buy it - usually it is out of boredom, loneliness or emptiness. I find that buying something (and that specific something can be anything ) I am achieving a sort of high that I both need and desire - and my impulse to buy it, rarely, if ever - takes cost or necessity into consideration. (Unless of course, my credit cards will not allow me to purchase it)

I have been in debt on and off over the years. I have a five thousand dollar limit on my credit cards - and no matter how hard I try - no matter how much awareness I have about my disorder - I always end up hitting that five thousand dollar limit. It has happened three times in the last five years - two of which my parents had to drag me out of.

From my experience, it happens time and time again.

Just the other day I was reading about a computer chip - that was apparently much faster than the one I have in my desktop PC. After reading reviews and seeing how fast it was compared to what I currently had - I was curious about price - so I looked it up online at my computer store of choice. It was about 200 bucks. I contemplated buying it - then said no. An hour later I get a strong impulse to go out and buy it. I reminded myself of my illness and my tendency to sporadically and impulsively buy things - but my mind was just obsessing over how much faster my computer would be - and I knew I wouldn't be able to escape it. I just had to get it. So I went to buy it. When I arrived at the computer store I had guilt about the whole thing and meandered through the store for about an hour. Upon leaving the store empty-handed - I re-entered the store and purchased the specific chip, along with more stuff for a total of 450 bucks!

So my initial computer chip was 200 bucks - and after some battling within myself - I not only purchased it - but I also purchased more... This is all on credit cards. I have zero dollars in my bank account.

This is not good.

And what did I get from it all? More debt. More stress.

...and the ability to play games at 10 frames per second faster

[LibraryDweller77]

Thanks for the replies, everyone. Glad to see some other people are in the same place I am where they feel it's hard to determine what exactly counts as reckless or impulsive behavior. I just feel like just about everyone on the planet has something they spend a little too much money on or that they feel compelled to do despite knowing it can have dangerous and/or negative consequences. Some people binge on food. Some really like to buy shoes. Some spend a lot on electronics. Some just can't help but trade in their car for a newer model every year despite the debt involved and fact that their current car is fully functional. Some are addicted to getting tattoos and just keep heading out for "one more." Obviously not all of these people have personality disorders -- just vices. Then what if a woman marries a billionaire and makes huge purchases every day with his money -- a yacht today, a $700 pair of heels tomorrow, a pink motorcycle she's not even licensed to ride the following day. She's not causing financial distress, but it's hard not to call what she's doing impulsive shopping.
So anyway, what I'm gathering is that my spending behavior might not be the most healthy or rational, but it's not exactly extreme either and probably not enough to suggest I'm BPD. *shrug* lol </br>

[ifst5]

I'm not sure the price of objects really matters - the fact is you don't need them and you're purchasing on a whim. I put myself into debt through buying a variety of different priced goods - currently i have a £500 loan i've got to pay off. It seems excess is just part and parcel of the disorder for me, i also binge eat and go on drug and alcohol binges (i'm a recovering addict) so it seems that one set of behaviours is usually followed by others. BPD usually has a high diagnostic criteria so if you're trying to figure out whether you might have the disorder based on this alone then it's extremely unlikely.

[HD7970GHZ]

I'd have to agree that this impulsive spending is not enough - on its own - to determine whether or not you are suffering from BPD. It can be an indicator for such an illness; if more criteria are met. (Look at BPD criteria)

Then again, overspending or impulsive spending can easily be confused with simply being human. We fall victim to unecessary purchases all the time - whether it is the new iphone 6 or the 2014 toyota... A lot of people have issues with spending. The marketing these days attacks us on psychological levels - through colors, placement of products, signs, words, locations, etc... It's quite amazing how it is it so effective despite our collective admittance - that marketing is in part - a sham - a manipulation to go out and spend money on a product that is no better or worse than the previous, cheaper counterpart...

Anyways, here's my perspective:

I think for me - I yearn for what makes me feel better inside - especially when I'm overwhelmed with loneliness, shame, guilt, etc... In the past I would reach out to others in order to fill the void - but I've found that it would only lead to worsening of symptoms - and a ruined relationship, and (of course) my feeling worse than I did prior to reaching out to that person... I can say the same thing about drugs and alcohol... I can say the same thing about speeding in my car or self harm... However, in my experience - the best method for me, (out of the choices that I have at my disposal) purchasing an inanimate object (that, yes, puts me in debt) is a much more reasonable way to self-soothe, rather than relying on more dangerous, self damaging and potentially life threatening scenarios...

What I'm saying is - I would rather go out and buy something, (even if it puts me in a bit of debt) than risk harming myself, or others (relationships) while in an emotional state. That being said - I would LOVE to be able to do nothing when dys-regulated - and simply ride out the wave without making any major decisions that could affect me later... But I can't do that all the time. Sometimes I fall back into having to do something that I know could damage me later.

I suppose I'm human, but I do know the impulsive spending is an issue with my own life - and I would really like to hear about other people's experiences as well!

Thanks,
HD7970ghz