Well. Is it weird that I do this? After I watch or read about a character that I like I'll start thinking of my own personality and thinking about how I don't have a good personality like they do and mine is very confusing or boring. So I'll open up a word document, write down a bunch of questions or look up some and paste them, and then answer them about myself, keeping the character in mind so that I can absorb some of their traits into mine sort of and answer questions with their traits kind of meshing into my own (make sense?)... hoping that I could become like them & establish a solid personality for myself. >.< Anyone do anything like this or understand this at least?

Originally Posted by nevergoodenough

Well. Is it weird that I do this? After I watch or read about a character that I like I'll start thinking of my own personality and thinking about how I don't have a good personality like they do and mine is very confusing or boring. So I'll open up a word document, write down a bunch of questions or look up some and paste them, and then answer them about myself, keeping the character in mind so that I can absorb some of their traits into mine sort of and answer questions with their traits kind of meshing into my own (make sense?)... hoping that I could become like them & establish a solid personality for myself. >.< Anyone do anything like this or understand this at least?

I don't see anything wrong with it.

Originally Posted by nevergoodenough

Well. Is it weird that I do this? After I watch or read about a character that I like I'll start thinking of my own personality and thinking about how I don't have a good personality like they do and mine is very confusing or boring. So I'll open up a word document, write down a bunch of questions or look up some and paste them, and then answer them about myself, keeping the character in mind so that I can absorb some of their traits into mine sort of and answer questions with their traits kind of meshing into my own (make sense?)... hoping that I could become like them & establish a solid personality for myself. >.< Anyone do anything like this or understand this at least?

Hello nevergoodenough: Hm-m-m-m... this sounds like an interesting process... you're kind-of taking what you know about yourself & blending it with some things you like about characters you watch or read about. Then you're creating a new composite character. So, do you then try to come up with ways in which you could add some of these new characteristics to your real-life personality? I've never done anything like this. But it sounds interesting!

[Pierro]

You are just trying to be a better person but looking at anothers may not be right for you. Remember nobody is perfect. We always look upon the negative traits of our personalities! Why don't we look upon the positive side?

Best wishes

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Might you not do better by considering why you think they have a better personality than you? You might then get an insight into why you think your own character is confusing/boring, and either see of way of changing or realise you are not as confused/bored as you think. Just a thought.

[Revu2]

Hi nevergoodenough (n g e),

What you're doing is actually a key part of Neuro-Linguistic Programming. The idea is that we carry or can recognize resources but sometimes they are externalized and admired in other people outside of ourselves—in characters, mentors, role models, or in our imaginations. The 'work' is to bring those resources inside from "out there." It is quite legit within NLP (the issue for some whether NLP itself is legit I leave for the peer reviewed journals. I can testify it worked for me, and that's good enough evidence in my living).

There's also a full-blown method called a Parts Party that you can look up.

Now that I'm getting into this, the Christian question, "What would J---- do?" is interrogating ones self about what this idea of J---- might do.

And even if all these examples were not known, you still may be onto something we can all learn from. So, yes, keep with your experiments and share how you become a better person from them.

[jean17]

Originally Posted by nevergoodenough

Well. Is it weird that I do this? After I watch or read about a character that I like I'll start thinking of my own personality and thinking about how I don't have a good personality like they do and mine is very confusing or boring. So I'll open up a word document, write down a bunch of questions or look up some and paste them, and then answer them about myself, keeping the character in mind so that I can absorb some of their traits into mine sort of and answer questions with their traits kind of meshing into my own (make sense?)... hoping that I could become like them & establish a solid personality for myself. >.< Anyone do anything like this or understand this at least?

This could be an interesting exercise, but I feel bad that you feel so badly about yourself. I'm sure someone who knows you would find a lot more positive adjectives to use in reference to your personality than you do. I don't think of personalities as being good or bad, they just are. Judging or measuring ourselves against someone else's personality isn't helpful, especially if you are looking at personalities on TV or in movies. They aren't real. Do try to accept and like yourself. I think that would be a better way to try to have a "solid" personality.

I understand it. I used to do it with real people, mimic them, especially in high school when I had absolutely zero sense of who I really was. I was pretty good at mimicking, so much so that I learned Spanish by mimicking a friend who spoke Spanish and learning to play the violin (which I later majored in for a year in college) by mimicking the people in school who were much better violin players than I was. I never took a lesson before college; it was all mimicry. Now I do it far less because I have a lot of "self" stockpiled, so to speak. I have strong likes and dislikes, things that make me "me," which wasn't the case back then, so I guess I don't feel the need to make a self by mimicking other people. Sometimes I feel insecure when I am around people I don't know, and find myself mimicking gestures and vocal inflections, but I have to be careful because I can venture into weird territory if I'm not paying attention. So yeah. Anyway. I get it.

Keep in mind that the characters in books and on TV are kind of perfect. They may have "flaws" but they're perfect flaws, perfectly written and perfectly resolved. And their interactions with their protagonists and foils are perfectly scripted. You like certain aspects of that character, but keep in mind that it's glorified...you may actually possess some of those aspects, they just aren't scripted or put through the Hollywood filter. Which is unfortunate--I kind of wish my life could be a TV show once in a while; I'd like things to be scripted sometimes.

[Revu2]

Misskeena makes some great points, especially about how we are spared the imperfections, the ordinary days, etc. of scripted characters.

I have as example of limiting the role of a character/myth right here on psychcentral that hadn't occurred to me to mention when I first responded.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/self-...r-trialog.html

Revu2