[Scarlet tanager_13]

New to the forum and thought I would introduce myself. I have been misdiagnosed my whole life with OCD depression and bipolar. Recently I got the proper diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. It's kind of a bittersweet thing because I actually fit the bill for the symptoms that come with it and can finally get the help that I need. Being alone is torture for me. I feel like I'm never good enough for anything or anyone like it when I leave the room people are talking about me and what a loser I am. It is ruined every relationship with the man I've ever had and recently I have met a new man that seems to be very supportive. He encouraged me to see several doctors and finally I got a proper diagnosis. I'm taking mood stabilizers now and clonazepam for my anxiety I'm seeing a therapist once a week and a doctor once every few weeks. I tell people if they could go and sit in my head for one hour they couldn't handle it and would end up in the psychiatric unit which I have over a suicide attempt. This week I decided no more self pity, if I want to get better the only person that can take that step is me so that is why I have joined this forum and started taking my medication regularly and seeing my doctors regularly. I hope some of my experiences can reach out to some of you as well as some of your experiences reach out to me. we can do this

[healingme4me]

Welcome to PC.

It's certainly a step to decide to reach out for support. Rome wasn't built in a day. Learning to rework the patterns in thinking that create havoc is a process.



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[pegasus]

Hello Scarlet tanager 13, welcome to Psych Central. It is good to finally find out what is going on yes. Sounds like you are doing everything you can to cope with this and I'm glad you have some support on your end also. Please feel free to post where you feel comfortable, you'll find lots of support here.

[purplek0ala]

Welcome!
It's great having so many others to relate to here.
Hope you find helpful advice

[Innsmouth]

I am new here, too, and I can understand your pain, Scarlet. I was never misdiagnosed, just untreated and in denial that there was really anything wrong with me. I was always told there wasn't and that I was just a drama queen. I have also ruined many relationships and my current marriage is hanging by a thread at the present moment. My diagnosis has given me the ability to finally start seeing some things with clarity. I am going to therapy once a week, and I am also about to start a chemical dependency group once a week as well. I am a violent, abusive binge drinker, and I used to use much harder drugs. I have been off the street stuff for 6 years, and now I am finally addressing the underlying issues that caused me to do the things I did. It is both terrifying and relieving at the same time. I'm a bit overwhelmed, but I'm learning to relax a lot better than I used to. Wish you the best & hope to see you around the forum!

[Crazy Hitch]

As ironic as it sounds, a diagnosis can be a good thing.

You can educate yourself and become aware of behaviours that you may be displaying that may be BPD related.

And you can receive therapy in order to address way to manage emotions behaviours and interactions with others.

Best wishes moving forward.

[kaliope]

hi scarlet
i am sorry you wasted so many years in the mental health circus trying to find the right diagnosis. i spent years before discovering i was DID even though both my therapist and dr thought it but neither bothered exploring it. it is all very frustrating. i am happy to see that you are planning on doing your best to address your issues. i dont know if anybody has told you about dbt yet. it is a great program for bpd, but i used it for emotional regulation for my ptsd. i only did an 8 week intro course but it changed my emotional state forever. no longer do my emotions go 0-60 as i used to say. i can really manage them now. good luck and take care.

[Scarlet tanager_13]

Thank you so much for your welcome and stories.