[Achy Turtle Armor]

When I am, for lack of a better word, obsessed with someone and they have touched some object I want that object. 2 examples...

A while back, my therapist had a small piece of paper in his pocket and pulled it out and remarked, "What is this from?" I innocently asked to see it at which point together we decided that it was trash from the back of a sticker. In his mind, it was over. Not in mine. I now had something of his and wanted to keep it. I told him what was going on in my head and gave it back. This was before my divorce, before my relapse, when I was only seeing him every 3 months. I knew it was unhealthy so I "nipped it in the bud."

Second example happened tonight. There's a man who I see 3 days a week in the NA meetings. I'm drawn to him. He isn't really good looking, just normal. He is soft spoken, maybe 60 years old, 30 years clean, and married. I always enjoy being near him and lately we've started talking. Enough background. At the meeting tonight I took my phone, keys, and box cutter (for work) out of my pocket and placed them on the table. When he came in I got up for coffee and hoped that he would sit near me. He did and when I got back to my seat he had my knife and was checking it out. It's a cool box cutter. Anyway, I was so excited that he was playing with it. He was touching my stuff. So now, of course, in my head, the box cutter is more special. Just like the rock I showed my therapist a few weeks ago that he touched.

Sorry for being so long winded. Anyone else do this sort of thing? I have crap I've saved from 25 years ago. I've been this "crazy" for a long time.

[Crazy Hitch]

Hello Archy Turtle Armour

This is a very interesting question and has got me thinking, because honestly at first, I didn't quite know what the answer is.

I don't think this would be a "common" BPD behaviour, if I must be entirely honest.

So the degree to which one could argue that this is a BPD thing, is highly subjective.

Not many with BPD are going to go and start collecting things touched by significant others, if this sort of makes sense?

On the however.

This is what I am kind of thinking here.

One could argue that losely speaking it could be linked to BPD behaviour.

Perhaps it could come from an underlying fear of abandonment?

So by "hanging on to these items" the moment you are able to get hold of them ..... if anything were to happen ..... to these people in real life ..... you still have something to remember them by .....

I'm not sure if any of that may makes sense.

It's sort of what I personally make of it.

[Dobby67]

Archy Turtle Armour,

I do that. I have gone to the extreme of tattooing their name on me. JUST IN CASE i will always have something to remember them by.

[Achy Turtle Armor]

Originally Posted by Dobby67

Archy Turtle Armour,

I do that. I have gone to the extreme of tattooing their name on me. JUST IN CASE i will always have something to remember them by.

I have also done that.

Possible trigger:

It is actually how my SI began. In high school, there was a male teacher that I had those crazy feelings for. At some point, I carved his initials in my arm with a knife. Since then I have done that sort of thing two more times. I carved my therapist's initials on me twice and smeared Indian ink in the cuts which made rough tattoos. Lastly, after my divorce, I carved my ex's favorite number on me.

The idea that it is a way of holding on to them makes perfect sense. It's like I have that person with me somehow, no matter how far away they are. Thanks for the input.

[Trippin2.0]

I do this too.

Even with my bf, I mean, he's MY BF, so it not like i have to go hunting for treasure. And yet I save mundane things like a lighter he gave me when I had forgotten mine, long after the gas is finished...


Also, I know its not me being sentimental, the thought process is different... Sentiment is "that's so sweet I'd like to hold onto this memory"....


While this is more "I want to absorb as much of you as possible"


So yes, guilty as charged.


I do try not to though, I eventually threw away the empty lighter.