The other shoe

yeah so recently someone posted the question related to how when things seemingly go well, some of us expect the worse, or become anxious because we think or anticipate something bad coming next. I know my previous reply to this was different but I have to speak to this today.

In my logical mind, for the most part, everything is relatively calm, there are little fires going on here and there but truly none of it is anything I can't handle and when being rational, I'm perfectly fine with it. The key phrase here is "when I'm being rational" >.>

Ahh but therein lies the problem. Emotionalness or being driven a lot of the time by emotions alone, coupled with the fact that my emotions are usually not in the middle, it kind of can throw the rationale out the window and I end up being pulled into a spiral of negative thinking, worries, "what-iffing" and just plain being ridiculous (for lack of a better description)

Seems that in these times also, either bad things actually do happen, underscoring my negative thinking or maybe my already negative thinking deems these things as worse than they really are, but the truth of it is, it doesn't really matter which it is because in the end it just solidifies and keeps me moving in that negative direction toward the ultimate statement of "it all sucks..." and if allowed to go on... "there's no hope...f*** it."

Thanks for listening thus far... I know this is a bit of a ramble but the truth is, part of my reasoning is for my own self help in being able to see these thoughts, this rationalization/analysis on "paper" before me helps me to get my head on straight. but I appreciate if you've listened so far.

see right now, I have, let me just say, "a friend" whom I have been building a relationship, mindyou, online only, but still, nevertheless, a relationship regardless. In truth there are the typical questions, worries and curiosities in a new friendship/relationship, but for me, whenever these things reach a certain threshold, I begin to WAIT for the proverbial "other shoe" to drop. For this thing to end, for them to give up, for whatever number of silly imaginary reasons, for them to just end it. IT doesn't help that it has actually happened to me a few times now in the exact way and just as I was stating above, it kind of emphasizes my belief that it can and probably will happen again. I hate that.

So any thoughts, help... questions or whatever... are welcome. Do any of you do this?

It's difficult to live in the moment, when the past has brought pain. Every new day, does bring its own circumstances.
Dwelling on the other shoe could result in a pulling away effect. Granted it's self preservation in nature, yet, could hinder growth.

Maybe there's something else, not gelling with this new friend? Dunno...

I really enjoyed reading this post. First of all, very well explained. Second of all, I think I can relate. It seems I have a rational self that is altogether disconnected with all the actions that my emotional self commits.
When my emotions do take over, my rational self just kind of checks out, pushing in now and then, reminding me that what I am doing makes no sense, but often it seems that our emotions have the real power.
Anyway, about this whole other shoe thing...I know what you mean. I often anticipate an end, but I am trying to teach myself to live in the moment and stop being afraid of this potential dropping. I feel that when I anticipate the end, it is more likely to happen, because I am more likely to consciously or subconsciously alienate the other person. Either way, I've learned in life that over anticipation can be extremely detrimental to me, and just not a fun way to live. I know it's difficult, but I'm trying to become more go with the flow-y. Anyway, thanks for posting. I enjoyed reading.