[starbright34]

I have been a mom since I've been 16. I have 5 children with different fathers, my life has been a roller coaster, I'm 34 years old and don't want this life I have. I try so hard to look at the bright side but I just don't see it. I have made my life what it is and I love my children very much but I just feel so weak and trapped. I don't feel like I can do it anymore.

[ensconce]

Try to be strong for your children. Although I am an adult I don't know what I would do if I had no support from my mother she is the only thing keeping me alive right now basically. Be strong not only for you but your children, think positive, think of all the good things. Use the positive things to fight the negative feeling.

[jean17]

Originally Posted by starbright34

I have been a mom since I've been 16. I have 5 children with different fathers, my life has been a roller coaster, I'm 34 years old and don't want this life I have. I try so hard to look at the bright side but I just don't see it. I have made my life what it is and I love my children very much but I just feel so weak and trapped. I don't feel like I can do it anymore.

Dearest Starbright, I know that you are a beautiful woman. Feeling weak and trapped is a very difficult place to be. Do you have people who can help you? Can you access a therapist? A Psychologist? A Social Worker? If you are a woman of faith, a Sister, a Minister? Someone who can find options that you probably can't see. I pray that you find help. May God bless you.

[shezbut]

Starbright,

What has kept me going is my two daughters. Not that everything has been wonderful between us for all of these years. It hasn't been. Some periods have been horrible ~ and those were times that I really had to push myself to keep living.

Possible trigger:

I just don't think that my girls would do well if I ended my life. That doesn't mean that I haven't had the desire to end it. I sure have! And when my desire to die has been too great, I've forced myself into treatment.

((gentle hugs)) sent your way.

[starbright34]

Thanks for all the sweet comments and thoughts of encouragement , I went into hospital for a couple days.... I'm feeling much better now, I am happy to be alive and I have a lot to be greatfull for!!!! I'm looking for good and staying in the moment.