[CalmingOcean]

Sorry if that's insulting... Not meant to be. I'm not overly thrilled about a personality disorder. Feels like somehing I should be able to control

[Bipolar Warrior]

That's the stigma getting to you. By that logic, I should also be able to control my mood disorder, because, after all, it's just my mood. "Everyone has bad days", and all that other crap people throw at us, which they only say because they're ignorant. The reality of it is that if we could control these feelings, almost all of us would. But we can't, so we have to live with it, and learn how to cope as we go along.

Your feelings are valid. Don't invalidate your own pain. Honour it, instead, because you can't run from it, and trying to will only cause you more pain, in the end.

Stay strong.

[xavier.s]

Peoples reactions can range. I know a lot of people who when diagnosed felt it to be so fulfilling to get answers . being lost in your emotions is the worse and to finally have answers helps. But there is the harsh reality of having a personality disorder, its who you are and it won't go away. But hang in there . I wish you the best of luck

[Pierro]

I think when we are first told that we have BPD we have to think of it as a new starting point. It's where we go from here... I don't like the label either as it suggest that we have the means to control our emotions/feelings. I understand how you feel, I thought I had let everyone down because I could not cope with these feelings. We can learn to cope, it may take a while and the road is not an easy travelled path but we can do it. We learn to cope as best we can.. and that's all we can do. Best wishes...

[grixkid]

Not insulting at all. I felt the same way. Still aint sure I'm one of yall, but I think that's part of being bpd. Funny

[CalmingOcean]

My psychiatrist told me she finds BPD fascinating. So.. What she is say is, she finds me fascinating haha.

[geronimo26]

I just got diagnosed today, so I know how you're feeling. Part of me is relieved, other part pretty concerned..

[HD7970GHZ]

Calmingocean,

Being diagnosed with BPD does not make you BPD. It just means that currently in your life you have a number of BPD traits - and that under the deep, dark, salty sea of psychiatry - you are bubbled into the BPD class. Eventually you will rise up and and be free - just don't let the diagnosis sink you.

In saying this, congratulations and welcome! It's such a wonderful time being diagnosed BPD. It is so extraordinarily fun! I have to say that my most delicious time spent on earth is while being afflicted with BPD. Truly. Reason being is that while we are burdened with the disorder - we are also blessed with the introspection and creativity and empathy that often accompanies pain and suffering. If we so chose to take advantage of it and use it to better our own lives and that of others - we can be a conduit of pain and suffering and wisdom and growth... I look at borderline as an opportunity to remind others what it is like to suffer day to day. People need to be reminded of these things - otherwise those who suffer will be ridiculed and invalidated. It's our job to spread the word and help others understand.

Bipolar warrior you said,

"That's the stigma getting to you. By that logic, I should also be able to control my mood disorder, because, after all, it's just my mood. "Everyone has bad days", and all that other crap people throw at us, which they only say because they're ignorant. The reality of it is that if we could control these feelings, almost all of us would. But we can't, so we have to live with it, and learn how to cope as we go along."

I absolutely LOVE what you wrote! I want to show that to my family because it is SO true. All these people think I slack off in life and don't try hard enough... I continue to tell them that if they were me they would know differently. But they just jump back on the 'everyone has issues, get over it,' bandwagon. Perhaps there are people worse off than I am who are stronger in life and able to maintain a resilient lifestyle compared to mine - but I am through comparing myself to others. That only leads to misery and shame - and since BPD is a shame based illness I would say that I have every right to avoid comparing myself to others.

Try not to be discouraged by BPD. If anything it's a step closer to getting the treatment that you need.

[CalmingOcean]

Well, being BPD is not as bad as also learning a part of me is Histrionic that seems worse. I have a very 'superficial part.

[CalmingOcean]

Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ

Calmingocean,

Being diagnosed with BPD does not make you BPD. It just means that currently in your life you have a number of BPD traits - and that under the deep, dark, salty sea of psychiatry - you are bubbled into the BPD class. Eventually you will rise up and and be free - just don't let the diagnosis sink you.

In saying this, congratulations and welcome! It's such a wonderful time being diagnosed BPD. It is so extraordinarily fun! I have to say that my most delicious time spent on earth is while being afflicted with BPD. Truly. Reason being is that while we are burdened with the disorder - we are also blessed with the introspection and creativity and empathy that often accompanies pain and suffering. If we so chose to take advantage of it and use it to better our own lives and that of others - we can be a conduit of pain and suffering and wisdom and growth... I look at borderline as an opportunity to remind others what it is like to suffer day to day. People need to be reminded of these things - otherwise those who suffer will be ridiculed and invalidated. It's our job to spread the word and help others understand.

Bipolar warrior you said,

I absolutely LOVE what you wrote! I want to show that to my family because it is SO true. All these people think I slack off in life and don't try hard enough... I continue to tell them that if they were me they would know differently. But they just jump back on the 'everyone has issues, get over it,' bandwagon. Perhaps there are people worse off than I am who are stronger in life and able to maintain a resilient lifestyle compared to mine - but I am through comparing myself to others. That only leads to misery and shame - and since BPD is a shame based illness I would say that I have every right to avoid comparing myself to others.

Try not to be discouraged by BPD. If anything it's a step closer to getting the treatment that you need.

Thank you for this. I will try and set my sights on her positives of the disorder, until you answered I would of thought there wasn't any.

[Fuzzybear]

[Gypsygo7]

I've felt the same way. I've been recently diagnosed and feel like I'm so much different than a lot of people I've read posting and whatnot. While I understand it may be part of the diagnoses, its have to believe that its an illegitimate feeling. It's like a constant battle.

[crosstobear]

Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ

Calmingocean,

Being diagnosed with BPD does not make you BPD. It just means that currently in your life you have a number of BPD traits - and that under the deep, dark, salty sea of psychiatry - you are bubbled into the BPD class. Eventually you will rise up and and be free - just don't let the diagnosis sink you.

This is something to keep in mind, OP. With proper treatment, a better environment and people in your life, and most of all maturation, you can reach the point where your traits are no longer at the cutoff point for a diagnosis. Psychiatry is extremely flawed and very recent. Some say it's not even a science. I personally have been on both sides of the fence- as a client as well as a behavioral health worker- and there is no classification or category that can truly grasp a human being and his or her experience. Science just so happened to discover that certain traits appear in clusters as adaptations to certain stimuli because certain areas of the brain are activated during growth years. But each person with the same diagnosis can be very, very different. Let it be a starting point or roadmap to tackling tangible obstacles, and don't let it define you.

[jules77]

yeah...i know what you mean. was always told i had those BPD "traits" but the main idea was bipolar 1..until i learned that one psych ward discharge summary had me down for BPD as well...it was then official i suppose, as my psychiatrist then and now both agree that these diagnoses coexist. no one likes to think that their personality might be "out of control" or "wrong", no one wants to really feel abnormal. i just have to accept that it's what i'm made of. some people are born with birth defects - a word i hate by the way. life is so amazing to begin with, that this doesn't have to freak me out so much.