[CopperStar]

I have a history of becoming paranoid of coworkers, and that having a negative impact on my job experiences and outcomes. I figure this is probably a BPD thing and not a BP thing.

Of the four jobs I've had (not including current new one), looking back I notice that it's been worse each time. By my third job the paranoia had reached such proportions that I became very anti-social and terrified of everyone, even though I felt fine with everyone for the first month or so. By the end I felt like everyone hated my guts and was out to get me, and I wound up totally freaking out and never showing up again. The same thing happened at my last job. Initially I was becoming friends with coworkers, but within a couple months, I was afraid of everyone and felt like multiple people were trying to mess with me and otherwise conspire against me. It affected my work performance because I started isolating at work and having crazy anxiety.

Well I have just recently started job #5. I'm trying to figure out how to approach this differently than in previous jobs, to avoid the eventual paranoid freak out and breakdown. However I haven't yet learned what exactly leads to the paranoia, only that I need to be vigilant about it because apparently it's a big issue for me. A few of my new coworkers have acted very friendly and tried to make some small talk beyond just work-related things, and I've been very quiet and guarded. I guess my gut reaction is to try to avoid feeling close or attached to any of them and avoid being "friends". As though hoping if I can keep everything strictly about doing our work, then none of my weird emotional issues will get triggered on down the line.

Anyone else have a hard time managing BPD symptoms in the work place / with coworkers? Any specific CBT/DBT exercises that have helped you, or certain approaches, such as the one I guess I have started to try? Wondering how common this is, because most areas of my life have greatly improved BPD-wise over the years, but I've always had a consistently rough time with work environments. Maybe the performance pressure + authority figures trips me out or something. Anyone else?

[technigal]

I have work issues. I tend to be fine for 4-5 months and then everything blows up and I can no longer cope. I have not been successful keeping a job and I am 47. In all other ways I have been successful with dealing with things. No advice just empathy.

[dancinglady]

This is my #1 issue. It is extremely hard for me. I on the other hand have had very long employment last job 12 years this job 9 years.

[dancinglady]

Originally Posted by CopperStar

I have a history of becoming paranoid of coworkers, and that having a negative impact on my job experiences and outcomes. I figure this is probably a BPD thing and not a BP thing.

Of the four jobs I've had (not including current new one), looking back I notice that it's been worse each time. By my third job the paranoia had reached such proportions that I became very anti-social and terrified of everyone, even though I felt fine with everyone for the first month or so. By the end I felt like everyone hated my guts and was out to get me, and I wound up totally freaking out and never showing up again. The same thing happened at my last job. Initially I was becoming friends with coworkers, but within a couple months, I was afraid of everyone and felt like multiple people were trying to mess with me and otherwise conspire against me. It affected my work performance because I started isolating at work and having crazy anxiety.

Well I have just recently started job #5. I'm trying to figure out how to approach this differently than in previous jobs, to avoid the eventual paranoid freak out and breakdown. However I haven't yet learned what exactly leads to the paranoia, only that I need to be vigilant about it because apparently it's a big issue for me. A few of my new coworkers have acted very friendly and tried to make some small talk beyond just work-related things, and I've been very quiet and guarded. I guess my gut reaction is to try to avoid feeling close or attached to any of them and avoid being "friends". As though hoping if I can keep everything strictly about doing our work, then none of my weird emotional issues will get triggered on down the line.

Anyone else have a hard time managing BPD symptoms in the work place / with coworkers? Any specific CBT/DBT exercises that have helped you, or certain approaches, such as the one I guess I have started to try? Wondering how common this is, because most areas of my life have greatly improved BPD-wise over the years, but I've always had a consistently rough time with work environments. Maybe the performance pressure + authority figures trips me out or something. Anyone else?

My only advice is go to a lower level job. I am extremely underemployed and that is because of the BPD. Try to get a job with little or no necessary contact with coworkers. My job on the other hand forced me to work through my issues by putting them in front of me. Do you have a T that u can bounce things off of. As many who have stated to me paranoia is a feeling not a fact. If you feel it hold on and do NOT act on it.

[justwow43]

I have always had trouble with work and education. I have never held a job for longer than 2 years before the job I have now. I am always really excited and work my but off for the first few months. I am an "excellent" employee. Then I might mess up or feel I'm being treated unfairly and I end up storming out in a rage flipping off my boss or just stop showing up for work.

I am lucky to have a position that is working for me. I currently work from home. I work on my computer so I don't have "co-workers" or a boss breathing down the neck. I also set my own schedule which is nice when I'm feeling "off" and simply just couldn't work.

I hope you find a job that works for you. I know it's so hard. You can find something that works. It is out there.

[ThunderGoddess]

I also have had trouble with working and school. I've never had a job longer than 2 years and same as justwow43 in the beginning I'm a really great employee then either the customers complaining and being mean bother me to a point of storming out or I feel mistreated by co-workers. I think the best job would be to work with as little people as possible I am not really sure if DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness will improve this severe and life changing symptom but I am hoping so because I have been out of work for 5 months now and I barely have enough money to feed myself.
Unfortunately in the U.S. BPD is not seen as a disability but I for one totally think it should be if not only just temporary disability because it is a significant issue most people with BPD suffer from.

[DBTDiva]

Originally Posted by CopperStar

I have a history of becoming paranoid of coworkers, and that having a negative impact on my job experiences and outcomes. I figure this is probably a BPD thing and not a BP thing.

Of the four jobs I've had (not including current new one), looking back I notice that it's been worse each time. By my third job the paranoia had reached such proportions that I became very anti-social and terrified of everyone, even though I felt fine with everyone for the first month or so. By the end I felt like everyone hated my guts and was out to get me, and I wound up totally freaking out and never showing up again. The same thing happened at my last job. Initially I was becoming friends with coworkers, but within a couple months, I was afraid of everyone and felt like multiple people were trying to mess with me and otherwise conspire against me. It affected my work performance because I started isolating at work and having crazy anxiety.

Well I have just recently started job #5. I'm trying to figure out how to approach this differently than in previous jobs, to avoid the eventual paranoid freak out and breakdown. However I haven't yet learned what exactly leads to the paranoia, only that I need to be vigilant about it because apparently it's a big issue for me. A few of my new coworkers have acted very friendly and tried to make some small talk beyond just work-related things, and I've been very quiet and guarded. I guess my gut reaction is to try to avoid feeling close or attached to any of them and avoid being "friends". As though hoping if I can keep everything strictly about doing our work, then none of my weird emotional issues will get triggered on down the line.

Anyone else have a hard time managing BPD symptoms in the work place / with coworkers? Any specific CBT/DBT exercises that have helped you, or certain approaches, such as the one I guess I have started to try? Wondering how common this is, because most areas of my life have greatly improved BPD-wise over the years, but I've always had a consistently rough time with work environments. Maybe the performance pressure + authority figures trips me out or something. Anyone else?

It might seem counter-inuitive, but I would start writing down what you think people are doing and why. If someone at this new job does something that seems out to get you, write it down. Then look back over the list once a week, or the previous day's list at the end of the next day. Ask yourself is this really something they're doing because they're out to get you/dislike you, or is there another explanation? I would also try NOT trying to be friends with coworkers. Set really strong boundaries of friendliness but keeping personal life out of work.

I have trouble with black and white thinking and I also feel like many people don't like me. This makes the workplace really difficult because if someone is slacking or doesn't do the job the way I think they should I get really frustrated and think they're a "bad" person. I also get really freaked out that people in power over me don't like me for really small things. Like my boss's boss gives me weird looks and one time she made what seemed like a snide comment when I didn't say "goodnight" to her. Now I'm convinced she hates me. I combat all of these things with "wise mind" analysis: it would say much more about her than me if she hates me for not saying "goodnight" to her. How extreme would that be? It is possible that she does but if she does then she needs some therapy herself. My coworker is rude and a slacker but that's not my business or concern. Her bad attitude only affects me if I let it and her slacking doesn't make my job harder, so I just smile and say good morning and try not to fume about her being a b***** to me or spending half her day flirting with the intern who is 10 years younger than her...

No one at my job has to like me. If I do my job well, I won't be fired. I had a job where all the stuff that happened wasn't in my head - a board member WAS actually out to get me and trashed me to anyone who would listen; the executive director was pitting employees against each other and manipulating everyone. None of that stuff was in my control. I just did my job. This is something that really scares me because I have ended up hating every job I have ever had. I've always been convinced someone hated me or wanted to make my life hell. I have been at my current job since May. I think that BPD does ultimately make jobs more difficult but the only thing I've found to try is staying in "wise mind", reminding myself it's ok if not everyone likes me (even my boss's boss), and trying to keep it all business-like. Some of my coworkers are bffs and text each other and hang out on the weekends and that's fine for them but strong work/life boundaries are what is going to help me, I think.

DD

[DBTDiva]

I should explain the list thing - I thought that my coworker that is rude was purposely running long on something I have to take over from her each day. (ie she is supposed to be done at 11:50 and hand it to me at 11:55 but consistently doesn't give it to me until noon). I started keeping a record and I realized that it didn't happen as often as I perceived. I thought it was basically every day but it's been just 1-2 times per week. That changed how I was thinking about it.

[DBTDiva]

Originally Posted by ThunderGoddess

I also have had trouble with working and school. I've never had a job longer than 2 years and same as justwow43 in the beginning I'm a really great employee then either the customers complaining and being mean bother me to a point of storming out or I feel mistreated by co-workers. I think the best job would be to work with as little people as possible I am not really sure if DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness will improve this severe and life changing symptom but I am hoping so because I have been out of work for 5 months now and I barely have enough money to feed myself.
Unfortunately in the U.S. BPD is not seen as a disability but I for one totally think it should be if not only just temporary disability because it is a significant issue most people with BPD suffer from.

Do you have any other mental illness dx or physical illness? I know quite a few people with BPD who are on disability but it's for either physical illness or bipolar disorder, or depression. For some of them it really is the BPD that makes working impossible but the "official" reason is the bipolar disorder or fibromyalgia.