[ThunderGoddess]

So this being my 12th or so week in DBT I honestly forget but it's around that number.
I had a breakdown and was told seroquel isn't working for me so they are going to take me off of it and put me on an anti depressant. I feel horrible. I actually feel worse than when I started DBT but I was on a much higher dose of seroquel they actually lowered it during my 8th week I believe, coincidence?
Apparently to them it is.

DBT does not change how I feel, it changes how I react to how I feel and how I react to people invalidating me. So now I am going to DBT for everyone else not for me anymore. Why have a individual therapist if they only want to cure my every issue with DBT and why have a psych if they think you don't need any meds.

I'm depressed and feel like I'm not getting the help I really need at this center But as usual I'll live my life for everyone else and I'll finish DBT but I can absolutely see myself needing additional therapy to actually help me FEEL BETTER not just look better on the outside.

[Atypical_Disaster]

DBT is wonderful for a lot of things, but in my experience it's not the kind of therapy to get long lasting relief. It's great at treating the behaviors of BPD, not the root causes of them. For me personally in therapy I'm using a combined treatment model that's not just DBT, I'm also working towards getting to the root of why all of my maladaptive behaviors are there in the first place.

I'm sorry you feel like you're not getting the help you need, sadly situations like yours are all too common. I hope you can get the help that you need, and deserve. Nobody deserves to be living in hell.

[Fuzzybear]

I haven't been offered DBT (and was invalidated when I asked for a referral ) but I've studied DBT some and I think I know how you feel. It sucks...

You (and all of us) deserve the best help, and to feel better

[IndestructibleGirl]

I've just started DBT, in fact I'm only in a pre-commitment group rather than the proper programme, but one of the things they say here is that after the DBT year people often go on to address underlying traumas etc then.

Is there any possibility you could do that where you are, once you complete DBT?

I would love to do DBT. I am going to ask my Psychiatrist to refer me when I next see him next month.

[DBTDiva]

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

DBT is wonderful for a lot of things, but in my experience it's not the kind of therapy to get long lasting relief. It's great at treating the behaviors of BPD, not the root causes of them. For me personally in therapy I'm using a combined treatment model that's not just DBT, I'm also working towards getting to the root of why all of my maladaptive behaviors are there in the first place.

I'm sorry you feel like you're not getting the help you need, sadly situations like yours are all too common. I hope you can get the help that you need, and deserve. Nobody deserves to be living in hell.

Agreed, DBT helped me stop "freaking out" and "melting down" both my terms for when my emotions get so overwhelming that I feel out of control. It still happens but I can usually identify it and stop it in its tracks. Like I can tell my boyfriend "I want to break up with you because you didn't text me back for four hours" rather than yelling at him and breaking up with him. I can identify my overreactions from my reactions if that makes any sense... I also did like, 11 years of talk therapy/CBT on and off before I ever got DBT skills so that helped a lot too. Being able to control my emotions is for me though, not other people. I hated spinning out of control, feeling like I'm on a rollercoaster ride with no end in sight. The fact that it helps my relationships with other people is just a bonus.

But if I hadn't talked about my messed up family to a therapist for years and just gotten all that **** out, no telling where I'd be today. DBT is a tool, but you need more than one tool in the box, otherwise you'd be hammering screws into the wall. I do hope it gets better for you

[DBTDiva]

Originally Posted by ThunderGoddess

So this being my 12th or so week in DBT I honestly forget but it's around that number.
I had a breakdown and was told seroquel isn't working for me so they are going to take me off of it and put me on an anti depressant. I feel horrible. I actually feel worse than when I started DBT but I was on a much higher dose of seroquel they actually lowered it during my 8th week I believe, coincidence?
Apparently to them it is.

DBT does not change how I feel, it changes how I react to how I feel and how I react to people invalidating me. So now I am going to DBT for everyone else not for me anymore. Why have a individual therapist if they only want to cure my every issue with DBT and why have a psych if they think you don't need any meds.

I'm depressed and feel like I'm not getting the help I really need at this center But as usual I'll live my life for everyone else and I'll finish DBT but I can absolutely see myself needing additional therapy to actually help me FEEL BETTER not just look better on the outside.

What was the reasoning for lowering the dose of Seroquel?

[ThunderGoddess]

Yeah I mean I can't say that I'd be better off without DBT it's just I feel sort of dooped like I was under the impression I would actually be having less mood swings and maybe just overall have more better days than not so good ones and that hasn't really happened yet.

I also think (this is total opinion based on my own life experiences) if we started with Distress Tolerance instead of mindfulness I may be doing better we are only in the middle of emotion regulation and I have to deal with stressful things as I'm sure many others do but I could really use those distress skills in the beginning so I could actually use the other skills as well.

They do have other therapies there that I was told I could participate in after I finish DBT they said I wouldn't be able to do the therapy without DBT skills one thing they mentioned prolonged exposure therapy which sounds extremely terrifying but we'll see I guess.

Anyway the lowering of the seroquel is pretty sad and overall mainly why people with bpd end up not getting the help we need because we say things we absolutely don't mean out of emotional mind.

So I went into my psych and said I was feeling very sleepy and wondered what I could do about that, He suggested I cut the seroquel from 100mg to 50mg I did that and seemed to feel more awake.

Then maybe 2 weeks go by and I had something traumatic happen so that had me really on edge I was very upset when I saw him but he knew what happened and we didn't change any of the meds.

Another 2 weeks goes by I'm feeling really depressed and totally isolating myself and he asks me "Why are you isolating yourself, is it because you are scared to be around people, or you just prefer to be alone?" I was 1,000% offended by that question because I was extremely upset about the isolating but I said "I f***ing hate people I'd rather never leave my house again! And I want everyone to leave me the h*** alone!" So he said "Okay well if you have no problem with being alone, then I don't have a problem with it"

Then 2 weeks later I'm hysterically crying in his office telling him he's an idiot and I don't care about medication and I don't care about DBT or coming back to see him and he said "Then I'll take you off all your meds" so I got up and walked out.

I had DBT group that day, I went into group they made me leave with my individual therapist because I said I was going to have a breakdown. Then she basically tried to understand why the doctor took me off my meds and I was in such an emotional state of mind I didn't really understand either.

So she got him to come into her office and he ends up prescribing me Remeron. Now 2 weeks later I'm back to covering up my computer camera, accusing people of being after me,that I'm possibly an antichrist sent here to destroy also thinking my boyfriend was hired to get me to kill myself.

Needless to say I really would like to get back on the seroquel but now I am terrified of my psych and feel like he is somehow against me taking seroquel and is going to keep me off it forever. I'm worried about how lost in my head I am going to get.

[lavendersage]

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

DBT is wonderful for a lot of things, but in my experience it's not the kind of therapy to get long lasting relief. It's great at treating the behaviors of BPD, not the root causes of them. For me personally in therapy I'm using a combined treatment model that's not just DBT, I'm also working towards getting to the root of why all of my maladaptive behaviors are there in the first place.

Agreed! Agreed!

I wish I knew who your therapist was so I could go to them, too! My individual therapist (who I "broke up with" last week) is a strictly by-the-book, get in there and start doing chain-analysis DBT therapist. I need more than that. I need SUPPORT, too. The kind of support I received from traditional talk-therapy.

I have an appointment with a new individual therapist recommended by my DBT group leader. Here is HOPING the new T is more flexible in their approach.

I can't afford three different therapy co-pays so I'll keep breaking up with individual T's until I find one that will work with me in the way that I need - as well as utilizing the individual DBT construct.

Oh to stumble upon a schema therapist! That's the therapy I REALLY wish that I could do in addition to DBT.

[lavendersage]

Originally Posted by ThunderGoddess

So this being my 12th or so week in DBT I honestly forget but it's around that number.
I had a breakdown and was told seroquel isn't working for me so they are going to take me off of it and put me on an anti depressant. I feel horrible. I actually feel worse than when I started DBT but I was on a much higher dose of seroquel they actually lowered it during my 8th week I believe, coincidence?
Apparently to them it is.

DBT does not change how I feel, it changes how I react to how I feel and how I react to people invalidating me. So now I am going to DBT for everyone else not for me anymore. Why have a individual therapist if they only want to cure my every issue with DBT and why have a psych if they think you don't need any meds.

I'm depressed and feel like I'm not getting the help I really need at this center But as usual I'll live my life for everyone else and I'll finish DBT but I can absolutely see myself needing additional therapy to actually help me FEEL BETTER not just look better on the outside.

WOW. I could have written every word of your post myself.

[ThunderGoddess]

Originally Posted by lavendersage

Agreed! Agreed!

I wish I knew who your therapist was so I could go to them, too! My individual therapist (who I "broke up with" last week) is a strictly by-the-book, get in there and start doing chain-analysis DBT therapist. I need more than that. I need SUPPORT, too. The kind of support I received from traditional talk-therapy.

I have an appointment with a new individual therapist recommended by my DBT group leader. Here is HOPING the new T is more flexible in their approach.

I can't afford three different therapy co-pays so I'll keep breaking up with individual T's until I find one that will work with me in the way that I need - as well as utilizing the individual DBT construct.

Oh to stumble upon a schema therapist! That's the therapy I REALLY wish that I could do in addition to DBT.

Yeah I really miss my original psychotherapist like I always felt better when leaving her office when I leave DBT individual I'm either sad or angry and just feel totally unsupported. And same with my new therapist she does everything by the book if I say I'm feeling anything negative, she opens up a book and shows me skills of some kind like it seems so pointless to have her if she is just going to be a human DBT book.

[lavendersage]

Originally Posted by ThunderGoddess

Yeah I really miss my original psychotherapist like I always felt better when leaving her office when I leave DBT individual I'm either sad or angry and just feel totally unsupported. And same with my new therapist she does everything by the book if I say I'm feeling anything negative, she opens up a book and shows me skills of some kind like it seems so pointless to have her if she is just going to be a human DBT book.

I think we were going to the same therapist.

I feel the same way about group. I walk out feeling like, "wow. this is it?" Most everyone keeps telling me on here that the skills are a god-send. Ok. I'm sticking with it.

But, damm, I want an individual T who's going to fill in the gaps that DBT does NOT offer.

I'm a unicorn in a world full of horses. You are a unicorn, too. I wish we could talk more about that in group.

[ThunderGoddess]

Omg I swear I say the same thing total unicorn. I do like the skills but I feel like way to upset to even use them most of the time. But even when I was feeling better on seroquel and using skills individual was the same feeling. DBT is only offering a portion of what is needed to heal.

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by ThunderGoddess

Omg I swear I say the same thing total unicorn. I do like the skills but I feel like way to upset to even use them most of the time. But even when I was feeling better on seroquel and using skills individual was the same feeling. DBT is only offering a portion of what is needed to heal.

That's exactly it, DBT has a lot of great tools but it is incomplete and not going to work for long term deep healing.

Your original post, I related to. Too much of the time it seems like the overriding message of "getting help" is, "behave yourself! It's not about you actually feeling better, it's about you not making everyone else miserable!" It's like okay... I will be the first to admit my PD's have caused a lot of destruction for others, but at the same time how the **** am I supposed to stop acting in those ways if the root causes of those behaviors are never addressed?

DBT alone is not enough and I liken it to putting a bandaid on a wound that needs stitches.

[DBTDiva]

Originally Posted by ThunderGoddess

Yeah I mean I can't say that I'd be better off without DBT it's just I feel sort of dooped like I was under the impression I would actually be having less mood swings and maybe just overall have more better days than not so good ones and that hasn't really happened yet.

I also think (this is total opinion based on my own life experiences) if we started with Distress Tolerance instead of mindfulness I may be doing better we are only in the middle of emotion regulation and I have to deal with stressful things as I'm sure many others do but I could really use those distress skills in the beginning so I could actually use the other skills as well.

They do have other therapies there that I was told I could participate in after I finish DBT they said I wouldn't be able to do the therapy without DBT skills one thing they mentioned prolonged exposure therapy which sounds extremely terrifying but we'll see I guess.

Anyway the lowering of the seroquel is pretty sad and overall mainly why people with bpd end up not getting the help we need because we say things we absolutely don't mean out of emotional mind.

So I went into my psych and said I was feeling very sleepy and wondered what I could do about that, He suggested I cut the seroquel from 100mg to 50mg I did that and seemed to feel more awake.

Then maybe 2 weeks go by and I had something traumatic happen so that had me really on edge I was very upset when I saw him but he knew what happened and we didn't change any of the meds.

Another 2 weeks goes by I'm feeling really depressed and totally isolating myself and he asks me "Why are you isolating yourself, is it because you are scared to be around people, or you just prefer to be alone?" I was 1,000% offended by that question because I was extremely upset about the isolating but I said "I f***ing hate people I'd rather never leave my house again! And I want everyone to leave me the h*** alone!" So he said "Okay well if you have no problem with being alone, then I don't have a problem with it"

Then 2 weeks later I'm hysterically crying in his office telling him he's an idiot and I don't care about medication and I don't care about DBT or coming back to see him and he said "Then I'll take you off all your meds" so I got up and walked out.

I had DBT group that day, I went into group they made me leave with my individual therapist because I said I was going to have a breakdown. Then she basically tried to understand why the doctor took me off my meds and I was in such an emotional state of mind I didn't really understand either.

So she got him to come into her office and he ends up prescribing me Remeron. Now 2 weeks later I'm back to covering up my computer camera, accusing people of being after me,that I'm possibly an antichrist sent here to destroy also thinking my boyfriend was hired to get me to kill myself.

Needless to say I really would like to get back on the seroquel but now I am terrified of my psych and feel like he is somehow against me taking seroquel and is going to keep me off it forever. I'm worried about how lost in my head I am going to get.

That's so messed up. It sounds like he was just frustrated with you so he thought he would "give you what you wanted" knowing full well you were not really saying you wanted to be on no meds. Pdocs are the worst sometimes when it comes to people with mental illness, which is sad but I guess they get burnt out and stop caring, if they ever did. I know a pdoc who basically hates anyone with a pd but he works in a hospital... Not all are bad but it sounds to me like he was being reactive.

[DBTDiva]

Originally Posted by ThunderGoddess

Omg I swear I say the same thing total unicorn. I do like the skills but I feel like way to upset to even use them most of the time. But even when I was feeling better on seroquel and using skills individual was the same feeling. DBT is only offering a portion of what is needed to heal.

It also helps more the more you apply it and the longer you have been doing it. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is the same way. It's about re-training your brain so that eventually you react differently. With CBT it's that thoughts create actions, with DBT there's more of an understanding that emotions create thoughts create actions (or sometimes emotional override thoughts...). I had a therapist who called my self-defeating thoughts "old tapes" that like play in your head. When you catch a thought and change it, you do it over and over again and then eventually you stop having that thought. DBT is the same way, the more you use the skills you learn, the more they become a habit, until a eventually that's the way you think/act. I know it sounds weird but it really does happen. One day I just realized I was no longer thinking and feelings things I used to think and feel. Then I was like, "when the f--- did that happen?!?!?!?" It was really disconcerting. It was only then that I realized that every one of those therapists had been right all along. And a lot of times I thought they were full of s---.

[ThunderGoddess]

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

That's exactly it, DBT has a lot of great tools but it is incomplete and not going to work for long term deep healing.

Your original post, I related to. Too much of the time it seems like the overriding message of "getting help" is, "behave yourself! It's not about you actually feeling better, it's about you not making everyone else miserable!" It's like okay... I will be the first to admit my PD's have caused a lot of destruction for others, but at the same time how the **** am I supposed to stop acting in those ways if the root causes of those behaviors are never addressed?

DBT alone is not enough and I liken it to putting a bandaid on a wound that needs stitches.

That is exactly what I said today about how am I supposed to stop acting like this and I also said if this therapy is for DBT ONLY then I will certainly at this point in time need to seek out additional therapy so I can even keep up with DBT!

And I was basically told that DBT is in the format it is because if they don't follow the protocol and do it by the book then the DBT therapy goes off track and becomes a back seat to whatever it is you focus on instead. Although my therapist did agree that it would be very difficult to use DBT having underlying issues that can hinder being able to function properly enough to actually utilize the skills.

So at this point in time they are going to reevaluate a plan for me and see if I can get all the therapy there right now or if in fact I will have to go therapy outside the center for what they basically are saying is PTSD symptoms at this point. Also I was prescribed Abilify today and was told to stop taking the Remeron which in the past 2 weeks had no affect on me at all so that I am okay with.

I think it is really important that doctors and therapist understand that DBT does not make they symptoms of BPD go away or lessen even in a 3 month time span which is the extent of my experience but it sounds like a lot of people who actually did go through the entire course of DBT also felt it did not make them feel better it just helped them communicate better or not flip out. Which I agree I don't flip out as much I don't break as much stuff but I am still feeling out of control.

[ThunderGoddess]

Originally Posted by DBTDiva

It also helps more the more you apply it and the longer you have been doing it. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is the same way. It's about re-training your brain so that eventually you react differently. With CBT it's that thoughts create actions, with DBT there's more of an understanding that emotions create thoughts create actions (or sometimes emotional override thoughts...). I had a therapist who called my self-defeating thoughts "old tapes" that like play in your head. When you catch a thought and change it, you do it over and over again and then eventually you stop having that thought. DBT is the same way, the more you use the skills you learn, the more they become a habit, until a eventually that's the way you think/act. I know it sounds weird but it really does happen. One day I just realized I was no longer thinking and feelings things I used to think and feel. Then I was like, "when the f--- did that happen?!?!?!?" It was really disconcerting. It was only then that I realized that every one of those therapists had been right all along. And a lot of times I thought they were full of s---.

Oh yeah I totally agree and have actually felt this already happen with certain parts of emotion regulation but after being taken off Seroquel I feel I don't really have a fighting chance to keep utilizing the skills and changing my interpretations because I 100% believe my delusional thoughts like people can watch my life through my thoughts for example isn't something I can write out and check the facts because it is a fact that I sense these people connected to my thoughts so it's a harder to utilize something that is made for reality when you are not really living in reality.

I'm sorry I am really not good at explaining this part of my life because it is all still very confusing to me but I'm just trying to say there a sinking spots in the sand for some people and I think we need to fill them in before we can continue moving forward so we don't keep falling in them when we are circling around our minds.

[Unrigged64072835]

I didn't find DBT that useful for dealing with the emotions themselves; just to contain them so they didn't wreck my life. I still have a therapist outside of DBT to work the core issues. I hope you find the support you truly need.