[Prozac1964]

Hi everyone, I really love this forum and I wish I used it more, but I can only write so many words a day.

Anyway, I've been involved with a girl for 3 months now. I'm from US and she's Ukrainian. About 1 month into our relationship, I noticed she seem to love to fight. I hate fighting and my second wife is bpd I was with her for 10 years and she started fights all the time.

I think that is a key word: started. Because this is what my girlfriend is doing. We start the day peaceful and laughing and then it suddenly changes. There is a certain manipulative way that bpd sufferers fight and I'm seeing the same style in my girlfriend as in my ex-wife.

Of course I always take the bait, and then we have a disaster.

I certainly can't diagnose my gf, but I've studied the illness for many years and it seems she has bpd tendencies. I love her but I don't think we are going to make it because now I'm growing weary from all the fighting...

Btw, I want to say to everyone here that has bpd I have nothing but compassion and respect for you. It's a difficult disorder and I admire all here who do their best.

Anyway, sorry for the long rambling post, but I thought I'd like to get more involved here anyway. Feel free to ask questions, I sure hate losing good women to this disorder.

Thanks for listening

[Skeezyks]

The Skeezyks wishes you well, Prozac1964...

[StrawberryFieldsss]

I'm not in a relationship so I'm not really qualified to comment really, but do you think shes aware she may have this disorder, if she in fact does?

Knowing absolutely nothing about you, it seems like based on your post you seem to engage with the same type of woman if you had a 2nd wife that was similar.

What exactly do you mean by "manipulative way that bpd sufferers fight"?

Lastly, do you have any mental health issues that you struggle with? I ask because its going to make things extra difficult, and of course it depends on treatment/awareness for both parties.

I was married for 2 years to someone that struggled with mental illness that required medication (he didnt disclose this to me until AFTER we were married). Had I known I would have never married him, and thats mostly because I would have known it would never work.

[Prozac1964]

Originally Posted by StrawberryFieldsss

I'm not in a relationship so I'm not really qualified to comment really, but do you think shes aware she may have this disorder, if she in fact does?

Knowing absolutely nothing about you, it seems like based on your post you seem to engage with the same type of woman if you had a 2nd wife that was similar.

What exactly do you mean by "manipulative way that bpd sufferers fight"?

Lastly, do you have any mental health issues that you struggle with? I ask because its going to make things extra difficult, and of course it depends on treatment/awareness for both parties.

I was married for 2 years to someone that struggled with mental illness that required medication (he didnt disclose this to me until AFTER we were married). Had I known I would have never married him, and thats mostly because I would have known it would never work.

She's not aware, although after several fights, she told me she was hot-tempered, that's how she'd always been.

I don't think I'm drawn to this type of woman. I've had several girlfriends since my ex, all good until my current girlfriend. She's very sweet and loving until a fight starts.

About the manipulative way of fighting.....well I can really only speak for my ex, but she had a way of finding my hot spots and grinding on them until I got mad. I always felt she was extremely clever and a master at setting me up for an explosion.

I have Bipolar Disorder, but I've been successfully treated for 20 years and I take my meds religiously. I agree though there is a higher risk when both people have an illness. But I was certainly the stable one in my former marriage.

I'm undecided who's is more stable with my girlfriend. I just know I haven't fought this much in 10 years. It's almost as if she craves fighting and rage.

[StrawberryFieldsss]

Eeek. No one is responsible for your reactions but you. Its all you really have control over, other than who you let into your life to a certain extent.

Does she know youre bipolar?