[Mizzuoo]

I'm 20 and i struggle with BPD, was diagnosed at 15. I've never really remembered my childhood, not many memories from the ages 0 - 10. But if there's one thing i remember,

Possible trigger:

i remember my dad REGULARLY whipping me with towels and burning me with boiling hot teaspoons, once he even stubbed a cigarette out on my arm.

He did all of this because he thought it was funny, if i cried i was "overreacting" because it was "just a joke."
Eventually my mum and dad broke up when i was 11 and my dad hasn't done this since. Seeing as he walked in and out of my life so much in my teenage years we didn't spend much time together anyway.

I feel pretty broken up when i think about this. My whole life i just wanted my dad to love me, my mum made it clear she resented me, verbally/emotionally attacking me any chance she got, so i turned to my dad for love and nurturing... but when i think about what he's actually done to me... to my sister, i feel so much pain.

I'm scared to talk to anyone about this...

[Atypical_Disaster]

Yes, what you've described here is abuse.

[Yours_Truly]

There's no doubt about it, that was definitely abuse.

[LovelyChantel]

Yes that was abuse and I can relate to a lot of it. My father was the same exact way. It was all very damaging. He would do very painful things to my body and then laugh and get offended if I was upset because he was only joking and playing around after all. You're not alone. You have my support. Wow can I relate to this...

[Unrigged64072835]

This is definitely abuse from both parents. I hope you are getting help for this.

[cryingontheinside]

This was abuse. Sorry to hear what you went through. How are you feeling today?

[Pastel Kitten]

Absolutely abuse! I can relate to some of it. I'm so sorry to hear you had to go through that.

[Deranged Hermit]

As others have said this was definitely abuse.

To not have any memories between 6-10 is somewhat concerning to me. Granted I'm not a therapist, but I feel as if you may have had some more traumatic experiences that you might be repressing. It may be something to bring up in therapy particularly if you suffer from any PTSD.

[xRavenx]

That was absolutely abuse. ((Hugs)) I'm so sorry about what you endured. Your feelings are completely common in someone who has gone through abusive experiences in childhood. You are supported here.

[GennyM]

My dad did kind of stuff as well. He would bite and pinch me and my brother, but always laugh and say it was the best way to keep us in line. I can honestly remember screaming as my dad bit me quite hard! He still mentions it and laughs about it to this day! I always thought it was quite abusive and it made me look at him like a monster.

[hollihobbie]

My dad was the same way and I was too sensitive! I hope you find healing. My step mom used to flick us in the head and laugh! She was just as mean as my dad. I know how you feel. Sending hugs