[hitchhiker42]

I think I might have BPD and am not sure if I'm just overthinking it or what, but the idea of it doesn't scare me--it more makes me feel relieved that there could be a reason behind why I act the way I do. Understanding something gives a way to overcome it. Someone I know has BPD and they seem similar to myself (also, I have a grandma with Bipolar I); here are a couple of things I've noticed. I'm seeing a therapist tomorrow--is this something to bring up with him?

Suicidal/self-harming behavior: Yes. Right arm is very scarred from various times cutting it. Also hits self, bangs head on things, bruises self, etc. I was hospitalized for one night in May for suicidal intent but was released later that night (it seemed like a good idea at the time, I legitimately thought I was going to kill myself but then the feeling passed... $350 later). Calls the crisis line at least several times a month. Sometimes more. Twice my therapist didn't let me go because he didn't think I would keep myself safe. The first time he talked with me for an hour (I still feel bad about that) and the second time, a relative picked me up. It's not an attention thing--it just gets really intense sometimes, like waves, and in some moments I feel like I am going to commit suicide and I get really emotional (ie: sobbing, panic attack) and impulsive and self-harm-y. It passes usually after a few hours.

Mostly impulsive in that way. Not really an impulsive person in general.

Emptiness: I feel empty all the time. I try to fill it with various things, but there is so much void. I feel so unloved and alone most all of the time. Lots of self-hatred, which is numbed a lot by cutting. Lots of loneliness, mostly. I try to get close to people but it never works. Never close enough.

Black/white thinking: Probably. I don't really like gray area. I think in very binary terms: yes or no, right or wrong, etc. Especially in terms of morality.

One thing I don't do that it seems like BPD people can be known for is overstepping boundaries or getting angry/flipping feelings with people. I am really quick to distance myself and as soon as I think someone hates me, will pull away and never bother them again but feel really hurt and probably obsess over it. Also, I don't get angry with people. And I don't really do the "I hate you, I love you" thing--mostly, I just love people a lot but feel alienated constantly.

Does this sound like BPD? Is it worth bringing up?

[Pastel Kitten]

I'd bring it up regardless if it's BPD or not cause it's clearly negatively affecting your life. The recurring suicidal/self harming behavior is particularly concerning. Also, not every person with BPD rages at others. A lot keep it internal, and often turn it towards themselves.

[Unrigged64072835]

I'd bring it up regardless of any potential diagnosis. That is important stuff for a therapist to know.