[_C2_]

I have seen a psychiatrist for 5 years. I am not diagnosed with bpd but this felt like the place someone might be able to recognize the way I am.

Initially my doctor told me he thinks I'm schizophrenic, but later on told me he is not sure and that it would impossible to now since I was taking meds now.

I had psychosis 5 years ago and was extremely depressed and always anxious. I had been anxious most of my life and depressed to varying degrees since I was 15. (I'm 25 now)

My thoughts about people close to me change. I will go months without thinking about them or caring then suddenly I feel like I have to talk to them and that I love them very much. Then I'll get annoyed and stop talking to them for a long time. I love my fiance sometimes I want attention and like cuddling and then I don't want to be bothered and feel differently.

I get obsessed with the idea of being noticed or becoming popular and other times I don't care about it at all.

I am a compulsive eater.

I feel passionate towards something like a career goal then a few hours later or the next day I am not interested in it at all and wonder why I felt so strongly about it.

I'll have a good idea and do it then 20 minutes later suddenly feel extremely anxious as if I had made the worst mistake in my life.

I feel uncomfortable with one thing or another about myself that I constantly focus on it and can't enjoy myself or get comfortable. For instance my face gets oily and I always feel gross unless I wash my face I have floaters in my eye and my eyesight is a little blurry so I feel like I cant relax because I can't see properly.

In the past my moods would change so rapidly I could be happy one second then the next I feel suddenly suicidal then I feel excited a few hours later.

I obsess over things to the point where I'll keep doing something even though I want to stop but I can't stop.

I don't do any hobbies because I can't get motivated to do it. When I do do it I am happy but I rarely ever do. I don't know why but it is very difficult for me to start something because it feels like an extreme burden.

I want to do things but I don't know why I can't or why I want to do them at bad times or why it is so difficult to simply just do it if I want to so badly.

[newbpd]

I'm not sure, but I'm no professional psychologist. Could you get a second opinion from a different doctor?

[HD7970GHZ]

Hi C2,

Thanks for posting and I am sorry that you are struggling.

Lots of people come to forums and write down things and expect to get a diagnosis. Truth is, there is no way of knowing whether you have Borderline PD based on what you have written. One of the main reasons is that we are not professionals. Another reason is that Borderline PD is not something that is easily diagnosed. Sometimes it can take years. Often times people are misdiagnosed as having all kinds of disorders before landing a proper diagnosis. In saying this, it is not uncommon to find co-morbid diagnosis with Borderline PD.

Communication is 20% verbal, 80% nonverbal. (Apparently). In order for someone to properly assess someone and diagnosis with Borderline PD - usually it takes seeing the illness in full swing. The way I got a Borderline PD diagnosis was extremely painful... I got VERY attached to a therapist and couldn't stand the time between sessions. I got so overwhelmed, thought she was going to abandon me... It was horrible. I fell in love with her and all my Borderline issues came out in the therapeutic setting - thereby allowing for a proper diagnosis. Prior to this she had thought I fit in the Cluster C personality disorder bracket... Specifically Dependent and Avoidant... Despite the fact that Borderline PD is my primary diagnosis, mixed with Dependent and Avoidant traits, this therapist (and more before her) was unable to recognize that I had Borderline. This is an example why diagnosis someone with an illness (any illness) is not to be taken lightly. It also effects the type and scope of treatment regimens.

Please think carefully when you are on your quest to a proper diagnosis. Perhaps you have traits of Borderline PD, but ALL humans have traits of BPD.

Best advice I could give, which was already given by newbpd, is to get a second opinion. That - or continue working with the current psychiatrist and tell them you would like to have a proper and lengthy psychological examination.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz