[fightoffyourdemons]

Hi there,

Relatively new to this forum.

I have been diagnosed BPD for just under a year and I have been with my girlfriend for around 10 months.

She is wonderful, I love her and I cannot wait to live with her.

However, over the last few months my sex drive has decreased from 4-5 times a week to 1-2 a week and I am worried it will only get worse the more I get stuck in my head.

I never had the initially buzz of sexual desire, that came about 2 months in (I have ED issues at the beginning of everything).

I was wondering if anyone had any experience of coming out the other side and still being with your partner?

She is the most wonderful women and I can't let this slip away from me.

Thank you for reading,

FOYD

[Skeezyks]

Hello FOYD: I don't know as there is much of anything specific I can offer you here. You didn't mention if you're on psych med's. They can certainly have an impact on your libido as well as with your ability to perform. Age can also be a factor. But I also do believe (based on past personal experience) that worry, stress & anxiety in general can have a big impact on one's sexuality. So if you put all of this together, combined with the fact that you noted you had ED issues at the beginning of everything, it's probably not surprising you're experiencing problems.

Beyond all of that, there's probably not much I can offer. (In my particular case, some surgery years ago put the final nail in my own sexuality coffin, so to speak.) As far as coming out the other side with your partner goes, I think this depends, to a large extent, on your partner. For some women, sex just really isn't of any great importance. Closeness may be... but sex itself is not. For other women it is. So what may be of greatest importance here is what your gf's needs are in the human sexuality arena.

My personal opinion, for what it's worth, is that the important thing here is for you & your gf to be open & honest about what is going on & how each of you feels about it as well as what the two of you can do about it. If the two of you can do that, it bodes well for your future together. For some couples this kind of open communication comes naturally. For others it does not. If it's not something you & your gf are comfortable with, & depending on where the two of you see your relationship going, perhaps some couples counseling might be of benefit. From my perspective getting & keeping all of this out in the open, as well as figuring out ways to work with it, will go a long way toward helping the two of you to preserve your relationship. I wish you both well...