[Paisley Cow]

i think i may have made a big career mistake.
i was extremely emotional monday thu saturday, and since having a clear head for around 10 hours i'm thinking oh f**k.
there's a quick recap.
had a trigger one day last week, and slowly the over thinking started etc....
rang my care co-ordinater, got no reply by wednesday morning. so i ring his office, only to be told he's on leave for 2 weeks?!
so i spoke to the duty co-ordinater, who wasn't much help. so i came to the decision to phone my manager asking to move department, which he replied, that he can set up a meeting for monday morning.
now i'm doubting my decision. was i too rash?
really not sure what i should say in the meeting tomorrow, "hey! maybe i jumped the gun here, i'm not sure what i want again"
i'm so confused

regards

[HD7970GHZ]

Hey Paisley Cow,

Welcome to the forums!

Bear in mind; I am basing this response on what little you have shared. I am making assumptions about your situation based on your post. Please share more details so we can help you more.

While it is healthy to remain aware, try not to beat yourself up about your actions. We are human and part of the human condition is fallibility. It is okay to make mistakes and perhaps this is an opportunity in disguise. You can sit here all day and beat yourself up for making a decision in emotion mind but the truth is we all do it! No matter how self-aware we are, no matter how many skills we have - we still make decisions in emotion mind and SOMETIMES they are necessary.

I do have a question for you... Do you think it is possible that you can be in emotion mind and wise mind at the same time?

Perhaps you are invalidating your own feelings and actions because you are feeling uncomfortable by the prospect of change, rather than that of guilt and shame...

Sometimes we suppress our emotions until we explode, then we make what we (later) consider, "rash decisions." Why do we consider them rash decisions? Our emotions are there for a reason and the decisions we make are motivated by our emotions. If our emotions are justified (based on fact) and our actions reflect those emotions, how can we say our actions are not justified too? Perhaps your needs were not being met (based on fact) and you simply had enough; in which case your actions are justified.

In other words: if your emotions are justified (based on fact), how could you possibly label your actions a mistake?


Society likes to correlate emotions with insanity, when in actual fact: they are EXTREMELY valuable. We need to, "Befriend our emotions," and learn to listen to them. In most instances, emotions are genuine indicators of what is actually going on inside of us. Since so many of us suppress our emotions we often have no idea what is going on inside of ourselves... So much so that we need to ask ourselves: Is it possible that emotions are genuine reflections of how we feel about our needs, wants and desires? And if so, should we shun them away and regret the actions we make while in emotion mind?

Another way you can think about this is (and this is my own way of thinking): Sometimes when we are in emotion mind, we are also in wise mind; since our emotions are justified and help us get our needs, wants and desires met.

Listen to your emotions, there is a lot of information in there for you to investigate...

You didn't do anything out of the ordinary. You didn't hurt anyone or yourself. Anger is an incredibly motivating emotion. Sometimes a bit of anger is exactly what we need in order to get our needs met. Take a moment and process WHY you felt the need to say something to your management. While you are not in emotion mind now, can you still see the logic behind your actions? My guess is yes, you can still appreciate it because your emotions were based on facts (your needs not being met at work). Perhaps right now, you are no longer motivated to do something because you are no longer in emotion mind; but that doesn't mean you don't want to do something about it...

Remind yourself that nothing is set in stone yet and no decisions have been made. At this point you are okay and you still have options. From what you have shared, I would think the best thing to do is meet the manager. Perhaps it is an opportunity to discuss what it is that was bothering you in the first place. Maybe you can better your situation... Or, you could go in and say you were having a 'moment.'

I would love to know why all of this took place. What about work is bothering you? Could you share more details so that we can help you navigate the situation?

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

[Skeezyks]

Hello Paisley Cow: I'm sorry but I don't think I understand enough with regard to your situation to offer much in the way of a supportive comment. (Plus you're in the UK & I'm in the US. So I'm not knowledgeable with regard to your healthcare system.) However this appears to be your first thread here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[Paisley Cow]

thanks for the replies,
the trigger is a relative, who works in the same department as me, they can barely speak to me and often just flat out ignores me. not just that lots family history, that triggers most times when we meet, however brief the encounter. when i start feeling down and over thinking, my work rate drops, but i did think, my work rate would suffer under those emotions where ever i'm working?!

[Paisley Cow]

ok, so here's an update:

after the meeting, all is cool, although a little embarrassed.

thank you for the replies