[Catlover93]

I used to have a close friendship with a BPD close male friend of mine who I have known for four years; he had romantic feelings towards me. He's always been obsessed with me even when I had a bf and he had a gf. We met in boarding school back in 2011. I didn't even know he existed until he added me on facebook back in 2012. We had an online relationship where we would talk about each others problems, and relationships, etc. Even when he was living with his ex gf he always had feelings towards me and he would always ask when I was coming down to visit him while he was with his gf; they were in an open relationship with each other. I met the guy for the first time last September and we debated on starting a long distance relationship with each other last October. Unfortunately I got sucked in and I ended up having sex with him even though we weren't yet in an established relationship which I regret. Between October to January he kept asking me when I was coming down from Canada to visit him in New york state.
I told him that I couldn' either because of health problems, financial problems, or not being able to miss work. After I told him that I wasn't comfortable with the fact that he was still living with his ex gf who is the mother of his child. I find out 16 days later after talking to him on the phone that he started seeing someone else after he text messaged me and he has now shacked up with his new gf just barely two weeks after inviting me to come down and visit him. He then wouldn't stop bugging me and asked me my address to ship my phone charger back to me. He then had the nerve to bug me over instagram and like all my pictures on facebook and in stagram and then two weeks later i chat with him on kik messenger and he starts asking me if I got his text message that he's no longer single. I basically changed the subject and then that's when he flat out asked me if he had lost my friendship or not. Why would he care whether or not he's lost my friendship when he's shacked up with his "new gf" who remains nameless. None of his friends know his new gf's name, he still puts on facebook that he's single, and there are no likes or comments from any girls on his facebook photos or statuses. I know he's not lying because his guy friend told me that it's confirmed he's living with his new gf in the same apartment building.

I don't even think I can remain friends with this guy anymore. His friend invited me down to hang out so I figured I would hang out with his friend just to see what happens. I know he has been jealous before of me talking to his friend. Should i expect to hear from this guy anytime in the near future? The longest we have gone without talking was 7 months. I kept him blocked on facebook for 7 months and he sent me two emails saying how sorry he was and begging me to forgive him because he really missed talking to me.

It doesn't seem normal to me that you would go one week living with your ex gf only to move in with a new girl who you barely know the next week after asking me down to hang out. Is this a sign of co dependency or what? He still keeps tabs on me on instagram and my facebook page...still follows me on all my social media accounts.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Catlover93: Thanks for sharing this. I don't know what is going on with this guy... co-dependency or otherwise. But my recommendation is to get away from him as totally & completely as possible... as quickly as possible... & keep it that way. He's a train wreck looking for a place to happen! Beyond that, it's obviously your call. But becoming involved with this guy's friend strikes me as simply asking for more trouble. Unless you feel this other guy is someone you're really interested in my recommendation, for what it's worth, is to pass that one by also. After all, these two guys are friends. Where does that put you? I wish you well...

[TishaBuv]

You don't want to be his friend, you wanted to be romantically involved with him. What does being friends mean anyway?

[StrawberryFieldsss]

Definitely forgive but that doesnt mean that you should have a relationship with him, friendship or otherwise.

I would just let him know that you're moving on with your life, go no contact and stick with it.