[slowly]

Hi all, I am sorry if I sound a little panicky, but I am.
I never knew what BPD truly meant until a few minutes ago. What led me to google it was that I read a lot of people diagnosed with BPD saying they always felt completely different from everyone else. And that they tried to change themselves to fit in, but in vain. And now after the diagnosis they see why they felt so different, and why they were struggling with friendships and romantic relationships.

Since I've felt the same exact way all of my life, I googled "BPD symptoms" out of curiosity. I am not saying I feel a lil' bit different or unique - I mean that I feel like a fricking alien. All of my relationships have been disastruous and only recently I started to see the mechanisms of my mind and tried to counteract. It only helps a little though... if at all.

Anyways. Long story short, the only symptom I don't identify myself with is being very impulsive & doing potentially harmful things like driving recklessly (...well I don't have a license but I would never do that), getting drunk, doing drugs, etc. I am impulsive sometimes but not to this extent. Sometimes I binge eat but I never considered it a serious/dangerous thing.

Possible trigger:

(However I do self harm.)

I read that the whole impulsiveness thing, however, is the core symptom and main sign of BPD. Is it still possible I have BPD though? I do not want / expect a diagnosis of course, just opinions. I will of course talk about it to my therapist ASAP...

Please don't be harsh, I don't want to offend anyone, I feel really anxious right now and I just want to understand.

Some context: I will start seeing a psychotherapist for the 1st time this week.
In fact my psychologist says she cannot help me anymore.
I went through months of psychosis once when I was about 15 y.o. Currently I hear voices and

Possible trigger:

as I said, I also self harm.

I had what my psychologist says could be dissociative episodes but we are not sure, my psychotherapist is going to establish whether they are or not.

[slowly]

anyone? :/

[Unrigged64072835]

Hey, slowly...

We can't give a diagnosis on the forum. However, for the diagnosis it's usually five out of the nine items listed in the DSM 5. Your therapist would know more. You can also have traits but not have the disorder.

The thing is not just the diagnosis, though. It's about the treatment. I wouldn't get hung up on the label so much as figuring out what to do next.

[slowly]

Hi Fharraige, thank you for your reply.
Yes I agree with you, it's just maybe giving "it" a name would make it easier to deal with everything I guess. And by the way I personally think I do have 5 or 6 traits.

I calmed down a bit since yesterday, and reflected. Now J just have to wait a few days, I should be grateful I have the opportunity to talk to a therapist and not be so anxious/panicky about everything.

Anyways thanks once again.

[crimsoncat]

Good luck getting the help you need slowly.let us know how you get on .

[slowly]

Originally Posted by crimsoncat

Good luck getting the help you need slowly.let us know how you get on .

Thanks I will x