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zijax
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Member Since Mar 2016
Location: appalachia
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Default Jun 29, 2017 at 04:17 PM
  #1
Breaking up with current bf, chasing down old bf to rekindle deep feelings of love. Then realizing I made a mistake, don't want old bf. He is trouble. I am dangerous. It is exciting. We have wild sex. I rush back home to discover now ex bf in hospital after suicide attempt. What have I done?

Emotions out of control, like a big wave knocking me down, I can't win. I am hurting others with my impulsive actions, out of the blue shocking actions. I am sober too! No drugs either!

I have started jobs, schools, careers, marriages, relationships only to quit them and change course quite suddenly. I have lived all over the country. What or how can I stop being impulsive. I am hopeless.
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MissCathryn
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Default Jul 17, 2017 at 07:47 PM
  #2
Don't feel bad. I've lived my life the exact same way. Feeling adament about something one week, then shaking it off and not caring about it anymore. Many crappy jobs, married 3x by 35, bad decisions and flip flopping all over the place.

I feel hopeless too. All we can do is keep up therapy, meds and try to stay focused.

I know how hard it is. I am so so aorry
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bpdbeth
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Default Jul 19, 2017 at 11:18 PM
  #3
im the same way i always dive into stuff because im so emotional especially with people and then it all makes me feel so messed up and like i shouldnt try
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zijax
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Location: appalachia
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Default Jul 20, 2017 at 11:15 AM
  #4
I've had my pdoc increase my meds to become more stable. I'm trying this process my t told me about. She says to stop layering. Layering one stressful concept that Im going through over another over another until Im completely overwhelmed. Future thinking. Just take it a day at a time, stay in the moment as much as possible.

Trying to slow down and think things through...so hard. Trying not to act off of fleeting emotions, trying to ground myself. Its all I know to do.

Its good to know Im not alone.
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KingMe
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Default Jul 20, 2017 at 06:30 PM
  #5
Focus on what IS REAL NOT HOW YOU FEEL good thing my therapist told me once when emotions are mixed up.

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Diagnosis: Borderline Personality Disorder,ADD,PTSD.
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