[BubonicPlague]

I just recently was diagnosed with BPD. My boyfriend broke up with me last week because he said he felt empty in our relationship, though he said he still loved me and wanted to be best friends (totally wrong and just manipulative in a way).

I'm ending the friendship with him tonight.

But so far I've seen several guys, most I've been used for sex, and two the relationship barely lasted 2-3 months. I feel like I'm a failure because I keep attracting failing relationships, it's horrible.

Now that I have BPD, is it ever possible to ever be in a stable relationship and have someone love you back?

[LittleEarthquakes]

Originally Posted by BubonicPlague

Now that I have BPD, is it ever possible to ever be in a stable relationship and have someone love you back?

Yes. I am. We've been together for two years and friends for five. It's not perfect by any means but we are both completely committed to our relationship and getting through the tough times with open communication and such. There are times where I try to sabotage it. There are times where I get insecure, angry, I rage, split- but he knew before we dated that I had these issues, we both knew what we were getting into. We're in love and while there are very difficult times I would say that yes definitely we are in a stable relationship. I have learned how to be angry and respectful at the same time, how to let him know I'm feeling empty without it reaching the point of thinking he doesn't love me anymore. We have been to therapy. Have you been? Is it something you would be willing to do with a partner in the future?

[behindthemirror]

Yes, it is possible. I've been with my SO for a year and things are still very good.

[Unrigged64072835]

I didn't think so until 2010, when I met the man who is now my husband.

Are you able to love yourself? That would help.

[TishaBuv]

Yes, it is possible. Learn from your mistakes, don't repeat them. Treat yourself and others well.

I'm in my early 50's and was just diagnosed borderline traits. I was told I always had it, I just didn't know.

So never thinking I had any disorder, I lived my life, married, had three kids. Don't let the diagnosis scare you into thinking you can't have a life you want.

[BlueAura]

Yes! It took me several years of Mr. Wrong before I found Mr. Right. For years I tried to find a man because I was so lonely, but only found one-night-stands. My husband was a "failed one night stand.". He came home from a bar with me and never left.

One thing that really helped, ironically, was for me to stop looking for valuation externally and embrace my own personality. Hard to love an acid-tongued nerd but I got to the point where I didn't try so hard to please others. Let THEM walk a mile in your shoes -- most people can't do it!!

The thing that my spouse was most blown away with was not the sex, but my personal library! He couldn't believe how many nonfiction books I had, and such varied, deep subjects. He said later that I was the only woman he ever met that didn't read romance novels. Lol I guess he didn't go out much!

I'm sorry that I'm jumped around on topics, my meds changed and it has been a week from hell. It IS true though, that usually love comes along when you least expect it.

Also you have the strength of knowing and owning your diagnosis. That alone puts you in a much better place.

[technigal]

Been happily married for 15 years, not always easy but I have a very supportive husband.

[KingMe]

One thing to think about and I have had the same patterns as you in relationships is that when your feeling empty its hard to take care and be happy for yourself let alone someone else. I would always give you the advice of if you asked the person you trusted the most in your life to tell you what to do do that. I know things will get better for you there is always hope.

[nicoleflynn]

I am 70 (can't believe it) and am still hoping for love. I hope you will love yourself enough to not let yourself be used for sex....or anything else. Try to be your best friend.