Infatuation

adashofhope · 10:21 AM

So I just recently met someone who I think I've become very infatuated with. I wasn't looking for anyone, it just sort of happened. It has been helping, at least some, with the pain of separating and going through divorce. I don't know if the feelings are mutual, and I realize its also very soon, but I am not planning on acting on them. I don't ever initiate things anyway, so I don't see that happening.

But the issue is that I am aware of how I feel and that this may not be healthy to be thinking this much about another person in this way that I just met and because I haven't gone through the divorce yet. I know that don't want to jump into anything new after my relationship is coming to an end. It has been so draining and it has also taught me a lot. It has been a huge learning experience for me and has showed me, that if I were to ever be in another relationship (which I am still not sure if I would want to...but meeting this person gives me some hope in that area), that I have a lot of work to do on myself, otherwise I know I will repeat the same patterns and it probably just end again and I will go through this extremely painful process all over again. I think the timing of meeting this person is very interesting though, and I think that maybe this person came into my life at this time for a reason. I REALLY do need more support in my life and they are very supportive. I've been so depressed for awhile now, and now since talking to them, I experienced an emotional high which I am sure I will likely come crashing down from. But right now I am having hard time not thinking about this person, and then my mind will go back to my husband and I feel very sad (but not as depressed) and I wonder how he's doing and also feel some guilt about this (even though I haven't done anything except for talk to this person) because our divorce is not finalized.

Btw I read this article recently as well, and I think keeping it handy helps to remind me to focus on myself. Its a great article, especially for women who might move too fast in relationships.
https://thoughtcatalog.com/janne-rob...edit-too-soon/

But anyway, I felt the need to share this with someone, so maybe it will help me stop thinking about this person in this way so much. I'm enjoying the emotional high to some degree, but I think I have some pretty good awareness of my issues and I recognize this pattern of mine. I have ALWAYS struggled with infatuation with people who give me attention. What do I do about this? I need this friendship. I think it could possibly really help me in areas that I am really struggling in. But I don't know how to just be a friend to someone who I am so attracted to.

Travelinglady · Sep 24, 2017, 12:12 PM

I understand. I used to become overly attached to people. I think it comes from what we didn't get as children. You are right to be cautious.

Fuzzybear · Sep 24, 2017, 02:17 PM

I used to sometimes be "over" attached to people too. I agree with travelinglady

I also agree please be cautious and know that you're welcome and valued here

adashofhope · Sep 24, 2017, 04:33 PM

Thank you both for your support and the reminders. I really need them.

Shazerac · Sep 24, 2017, 10:08 PM

hugs

Lonlin3zz · Sep 24, 2017, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adashofhope

So I just recently met someone who I think I've become very infatuated with. I wasn't looking for anyone, it just sort of happened. It has been helping, at least some, with the pain of separating and going through divorce. I don't know if the feelings are mutual, and I realize its also very soon, but I am not planning on acting on them. I don't ever initiate things anyway, so I don't see that happening.

But the issue is that I am aware of how I feel and that this may not be healthy to be thinking this much about another person in this way that I just met and because I haven't gone through the divorce yet. I know that don't want to jump into anything new after my relationship is coming to an end. It has been so draining and it has also taught me a lot. It has been a huge learning experience for me and has showed me, that if I were to ever be in another relationship (which I am still not sure if I would want to...but meeting this person gives me some hope in that area), that I have a lot of work to do on myself, otherwise I know I will repeat the same patterns and it probably just end again and I will go through this extremely painful process all over again. I think the timing of meeting this person is very interesting though, and I think that maybe this person came into my life at this time for a reason. I REALLY do need more support in my life and they are very supportive. I've been so depressed for awhile now, and now since talking to them, I experienced an emotional high which I am sure I will likely come crashing down from. But right now I am having hard time not thinking about this person, and then my mind will go back to my husband and I feel very sad (but not as depressed) and I wonder how he's doing and also feel some guilt about this (even though I haven't done anything except for talk to this person) because our divorce is not finalized.

Btw I read this article recently as well, and I think keeping it handy helps to remind me to focus on myself. Its a great article, especially for women who might move too fast in relationships.
https://thoughtcatalog.com/janne-rob...edit-too-soon/

But anyway, I felt the need to share this with someone, so maybe it will help me stop thinking about this person in this way so much. I'm enjoying the emotional high to some degree, but I think I have some pretty good awareness of my issues and I recognize this pattern of mine. I have ALWAYS struggled with infatuation with people who give me attention. What do I do about this? I need this friendship. I think it could possibly really help me in areas that I am really struggling in. But I don't know how to just be a friend to someone who I am so attracted to.

My heart is with you, wherever you're.

I acknowledge what you feel right now, Hope. I am free to hear those battles you have overcame for yourself, what is said here, stays here