[elevatedsoul]

i believe i may be experiencing some splitting with my case manager

i don't know how to address it because no one will talk to me about these symptoms and when i try to bring it up they just change the subject to other things like bipolar or substance abuse which intensifies my emotional distress by seemingly not acknowledging my feelings or concerns or all of the time and effort i put into reading and researching the feelings i feel and symptoms i seem to experience...

i really liked my case manager because she seemed knowledgeable in finding information and resources and seemed to be on the ball for getting things done... but now it seems like she just wants to talk about substance abuse like its all that is causing me problems and that i just need to get sober, which i have been sober ... she talks like i am still using drugs and drinking ... which i am not ... and she is not following a path in treatment that i want... im trying to figure out how to handle this situation without exploding because its really distressing me and i am not good with this feeling

if i don't do something soon i may quit going to the clinic all together or try to contact someone there and request a new case manager even though there may not be anything wrong at all with the one i have now...

i just dont understand why it feels the way it feels and why she keeps talking about substance abuse when i dont need to focus on that and need to focus on my trauma treatment and triggers, which i am not in any trauma treatment or anything...

i just want to run away, its like someone abducted her and replaced her with an evil government spy...

feel like i have no one on my side, ever, i thought she was going to stay on my side... but i guess every one turns eventually...

i don't know what to do, i thought i could talk to her about things... but i feel now like i cant...
who am i supposed to talk to, where do i go?
i don't understand this entire treatment process... its not working...
they are making it worse by instilling inside of me a fear and messed up paradigm of mistrust and feeling of never being understood... which i have already had, they are just solidifying it because they are supposed to be the professionals and supposed to understand and supposed to help..

[elevatedsoul]

it wouldn't be so bad if i didnt have such a problem with confrontation

i am going to have to confront her.. but i don't know how to do it in a healthy fashion

im afraid of blacking out and or losing control...

i just need them all to focus on trauma treatment, i need help with this stuff...
not substance abuse... the substances aren't an issue... they and everyone else are just blowing it up and out of proportion making it seem like its much worse than it is and i don't know why they are doing that to me...

(((((hugs)))))

I really hope it all works out for you in the end

[Shazerac]

I'm sorry you are struggling and right now. I think it's important that you do confront her and tell her that you don't feel heard. Most people hate confrontation. That's normal. If you do manage to do it it will be an opportunity to grow and take some control over your treatment and your life.