[JustAnUntakenName]

I had three nightmares one after the other last night.

I dreamt I was in a psychiatric ward and I was alone in the world. I had no family and no memory of how I got there. I kept getting this feeling that there was someone important to me out there but I couldn't remember who it was. I looked all over for the person - on my phone and all over the institution but I couldn't find them, so I became uncertain if they were just in my head or not.

Then I dreamt they let me leave the ward and I bought a house on a nature reserve. My current boyfriend came over as a friend to help me clean the house because it was full of spiders and other scary-looking bugs. We were attacked by two bugs in particular but managed to kill them.

By the end of this part of the dream my boyfriend/friend had turned into the first boyfriend I had who didn't abuse me - without me even noticing the change - and he had to leave because the house was now clean and he had to go back to his current girlfriend. I didn't want him to leave because I miss him so much everyday and I was so glad to have him back, and be going on adventures like we used to. But I anyway offered to drive him to the bus station because I know he doesn't want to be with me, he agreed but he drove us there and I would drive myself back - driving there in the car it felt just like the old-times when we'd go on road trips together in my car. I felt happy and safe, and I was desperate for him not to leave. Then I woke up.

I woke up feeling hurt and betrayed by my own brain; consciously I have chosen my current boyfriend and I want to be happy with him. I really like my current boyfriend and I've been trying for three ****ing years to made peace with that other one no longer being a part of my life. I thought this year I finally managed it - why the **** would my subconscious betray me like this??? I made a conscious decision, why the **** is my head doing this to me? Why would it make me remember these things like this and hurt me like this.

I'm full of doubt and hurt now, all the bad feelings that I've been fighting for three ****ing years all came back in one night. WHY THE ****!!! I hate myself so much right now. I'm so sad.

P.S. I haven't seen the ex in this dream in 3 years. I was happily, consciously moving on with my life.

[Fuzzybear]

I had a strange dream last night.. not exactly a nightmare but I woke up feeling disturbed Thanks for sharing!

[Unrigged64072835]

That has happened to me too, except it was an old boyfriend from school. It shook me up for weeks.

I know I'm happily married and I love my husband. I just wonder why.