[AzulOscuro]

I sometimes feel as if I were two persons. Sometimes, a part of me takes control and is the one who makes me suffer, wonder, be low, reject, run away, want to revenge, get angry, hate...This part of me is very selfish and childish, scared, destructive and self-destructive, unloving. The main what matters is her pain, her suffering. She interprets any behavior, any word in a wrong way. So confused and filtered by her insecurities, her needs to be accepted and be worthy.
Then, suddenly...when I recover control on myself, my mind changed completely. It’s like a new awakening. As if I have been possessed. I understand the same events in a total different way.

I have contradictory feelings, on one side I feel very released because I got back on my senses and on the other side, I feel remorseful and very guilty when I hurt a second person because of my issues.
I’m trying to identify when and what makes me lose my mind, behave, feel and think so wrongly, so I can diminish hurting others.
I would like to know if you share with me the same experience.

[Lemoncake]

I posted this just today in another section:

I always used to feel fragmented. I believe that trauma fractures our personality and we can get stuck at the age when it occurred. My therapist used part theory in our sessions. I had an angry me who was my current age, but two of my parts were children. The 7 year old part was always there. As we went on another child part emerged. Both of those ages are linked to events for me. I didn't remember the event for the 7 year old part, but actually recalled it following a dream which triggered a memory. The 4 year old part couldn't talk and only cried because at that age I didn't have words. We gave each a name and each one was allowed to talk and with time the 4 year old part found her voice.

T helped me see that even though I had those parts it was still me and a goal for therapy was integration . Close to two years in therapy I've realized that I actually don't feel each part as strongly.

[Fuzzybear]