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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Posts: 2,299
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#1
Is this stuff related to my bpd and depression or is it because I'm a bad lazy piece of **** ?
I have insomnia I have no energy I can barely function ie self care or doing anything productive I am impulsive with spending I have agoraphobia and social phobia These random thoughts pop into my head telling me bad things . usually telling me bad things about myself and sometomes telling me to hurt people ( don't judge me , these are not thoughts i choose or listen to or want going round in my head ) I constantly worry and analyze everything to the point of paranoia Sometimes i snap and the people i love the most which follows by immense guilt and self hatred and then i apologize Does any of this sound familiar or make any sense to anyone ? Does it sound like bpd? Im confused . i have no self asteem . Nobody likes me and im alone and isolated . This is not a life worth living . i often feel suicidal . i have self harmed but not recently Im scared of confrontations I think i know what people are tginking about me |
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New Member
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: Coffs Harbour NSW
Posts: 9
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#2
Sounds just like me. From what I've learnt about BPD and depression I would say yes they are probably responsible for all these symptoms you describe. I understand, it's a horrible way to feel. Wishing you better days ahead. (((Hugs)))
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cryingontheinside
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Location: New England
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#3
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Member
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: Middle East
Posts: 31
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#4
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That all sounds so familiar...I think that sounds very much like BPD. I understand and feel these intrusive thoughts and feelings almost all the time. Have you tried therapy before? DBT and Schema Therapy are effective therapies for the things that you've mentioned. What are your thoughts about being diagnosed by a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist? I haven't been officially diagnosed but I have traits of BPD and may possibly have BPD. I'm in Schema Therapy now for a little over two months but on a month and a half long break now due to my therapist needing a much needed break. Check this out when you've got some time. Or just try looking up Schema Therapy if this website isn't conclusive enough. anyway, here it is: Schema Theory __________________ Black & White Borealis "The world history of emotions: not to pay attention is not to be immune" |
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AzulOscuro, cryingontheinside, Fuzzybear, reps_as_pets
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Posts: 2,299
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#5
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Posts: 2,299
9 |
#6
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Member
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: Middle East
Posts: 31
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#7
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So maybe that's an option for you to consider in the future. My therapist lives in the UK. and i've found several others that do online therapy who specialize in DBT and/or Schema Therapy. Some are quite expensive and some are average. Some therapists charge 180-200 pounds an hour its insane.. It makes one think about the poor and underprivileged in our society and their chances with improvement. F****** sad. But yeah.. I hope you can get some relief and some progress. All the best to you. And let me know if you want some pointers or some contacts. __________________ Black & White Borealis "The world history of emotions: not to pay attention is not to be immune" |
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cryingontheinside
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Member Since Dec 2018
Location: Middle East
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#8
*None existent in my country / region
__________________ Black & White Borealis "The world history of emotions: not to pay attention is not to be immune" |
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
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#9
You are not a bad lazy piece of ****.
Having no energy or motivation can be symptoms of depression. I agree that agoraphobia is a separate diagnosis. The other symptoms strike me as consistent with borderline pd. Were you diagnosed bipolar or borderline? |
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Posts: 2,299
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#10
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Posts: 2,299
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#11
I was diagnosed with borderline plus depression and agaraphobia .
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Bill3
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
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#12
Comorbidity is pretty frequent from what I heard from experts. For example, PTST is quite often found together with bpd.
__________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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cryingontheinside
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Member Since Dec 2018
Location: Middle East
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#13
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Those with maladaptive Schemas are almost boxed in and sadly end up perceiving life through a specific lens, or different lenses simultaneously such as: operating from a defectiveness state of mind or dependent state of mind or a sense of fear of being abandoned or ummm mistrust of others intentions etc. There are 18 Schemas and often people have several maladaptive schemas functioning at once. There are other layers to it as well and it has been developed further, i could keep writing much more but i feel like i will end up writing a college essay haha! Do look up the link i've sent you in a previous post it is somewhat digested. This is the introductory book by the psychologist who created this therapy model. It is the older version though without the newer models and layers introduced to it. https://www.amazon.com/Reinventing-Y.../dp/0452272041 This is the updated model. Schema Therapy : Jeffrey Young : 9780415462990 It's all so fascinating. You could look up some therapists online that would charge less and possibly be affordable for you? Do let me know if you want some help looking. You did say that you are starting therapy though right? What type is it? and Is it your first round at therapy? or have you done it before? "hugs" __________________ Black & White Borealis "The world history of emotions: not to pay attention is not to be immune" |
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cryingontheinside, mountainstream
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Posts: 2,299
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#14
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I haven't properly had therapy before because of my agaraphobia . The therapy they want me to go to is group dbt but I'm not even on the waiting list yet . i will try to look up online therapy today but don't think i can afford it though . thank you for the help and support |
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Bill3, BWBorealis
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BWBorealis
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Magnate
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#15
Thank you. This is interesting.
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BWBorealis
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Member Since Dec 2018
Location: Middle East
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#16
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Are there any other programs or assistance service that you can part be a part of? Is the dbt group service thing through public health care? __________________ Black & White Borealis "The world history of emotions: not to pay attention is not to be immune" |
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Posts: 2,299
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#17
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Bill3
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Wisest Elder Ever
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#18
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BWBorealis
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Member Since Dec 2018
Location: Middle East
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#19
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Could you try and calling care coordinator and having a chat with her? You could ask her if there is something else that you could participate in for the time being? I understand that it feels crappy if she's not calling or contacting but you could try and reach out instead and ask her about some temporary options or something that she can maybe suggest? __________________ Black & White Borealis "The world history of emotions: not to pay attention is not to be immune" |
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Posts: 2,299
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#20
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Thank you for being so supportive !! As for the hypnotherapy it was amazing in my experience . it was a long time ago before i was diagnosed . i kept going to the doctors telling them i was depressed and they said i was wasting their time . I didnt know what else to do . i dont know where i got the idea to try hypnotherapy but im glad i did . i told the man about my low self asteem and feeling depressed and that i got bullied at work but i wasn't quite sure why . the hypnotherapy worked amazingly on me . i think i went very deep into it ( not sure if its the same with everyone or would have the same affect . ) i felt so calm afterwards , a constant calm , it was a feeling i hadn't experienced before or remembered feeling because i was constantly on edge . this calmness stayed with me for about a year and that was after having only one session . i was given a tape of the session and told to listen to it every night but i lost it . it probably would have been more affective if i listened to the tape or if i went again a few more times . So I'm very interested in it. he was amazing though , i don't know if they are all as good him though . im going to try it again , hopefully find someone who is willing to come to my house . if they are not as good as him and its not successful i will be dissaopointed but at least i would have tried . |
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BWBorealis
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