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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
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#1
I have been finding hard to see if I display this criterium that is in the end the core of bpd, according to many experts.
How and which do you recognised in? __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
9 1,758 hugs
given |
#2
Quote:
My god! My apologies bc I didn’t express myself well in the title. The truth is that my head has been spinning this topic for quite a while and I have lots of doubts about it so, I neither got to express myself well. I didn’t want to say « poor or lack of self », instead: Poor, lack or diffusion SENSE of self. Sorry again. __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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Ascended
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: usa
Posts: 3,836
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#3
Seems like i cant describe myself
or know what i want, like, dislike favorites? I dont know any favorites of mine nothing is ever the same to feel good about myself and in turn feel bad about myself over the same things feel unreal or nonexistent, inhuman __________________ |
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AbladeintheMeadow, AzulOscuro
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
9 1,758 hugs
given |
#4
Thank you very much for your insight and your bravery.
__________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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elevatedsoul
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Bill3
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Appalachian Mountains
Posts: 2,040
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#5
If you suddenly love a movie or band because someone you like expresses their admiration for them.... And you're not sure if this person just tuned you into something great that you were missing out on, or if you love this new thing just because the other person does.
I think it manifests most in ways like this, that your preferences or passions keep changing all the time and are conflicting. If your values change like one month you hate drug abusers and think they're worthless but then you meet a guy you like who happens to use drugs and your values completely change. Or if you're a Christian and then meet a new best friend who is an atheist and you stop going to church. Those would be signs of a lack of a sense of self. In most people, their identity is fairly stable over time once they've passed adolescence. In those of us with BPD, it can shift suddenly for reasons we don't quite understand and we might not even notice the shifts or see them as contradictory. __________________ "I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned." --Richard Feynman |
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AbladeintheMeadow, AzulOscuro, Bill3, winter loneliness
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
9 1,758 hugs
given |
#6
I see. It sounds like a person with bpd mainly have the need to be accepted and be appreciate by others, no matter what they have to change. It’s like a sacrifice they did denying their own self-worth.
Thank you very much. Thank you for being so brave. I display a little of all that have been said by elevated soul and you. What I don’t know is up to what point is normal or is a disorder. __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Appalachian Mountains
Posts: 2,040
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#7
Quote:
Also consider how distressing this is to you, and how it impacts your relationships with others. If it doesn't bother you, and it doesn't bug anybody else, then don't worry about it. But if other people are commenting on it, or if it bothers you, it might be a feature of BPD. __________________ "I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned." --Richard Feynman |
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AzulOscuro
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
9 1,758 hugs
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#8
Thanks a lot!
Definitely, I’m not a teenager. Although, I consider myself at the same level of maturity. Lol! I’m a very easily influenced person. I have my likes, preferences and values but sometimes, when I want to connect, I put a great effort to find common points and areas to share with this that I consider a especial person. Sometimes, I’m too much flexible, in my opinion. I doubt about everything. The worst part is social phobia and depression as a product of not liking myself and putting others before me. __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) Last edited by AzulOscuro; Jan 21, 2019 at 06:46 PM.. |
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Ascended
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: usa
Posts: 3,836
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#9
Im 29
the one thing that doesnt change is my desire for stability, independence, financial security, my own house, intelligent friends rather than the simple minded To me all those things feel like one, feels like only way to achieve those things i have to find myself.. but i dont know where i am or how to? Creates a disturbing sense of doom... but i have nothing else to do with my time, so may as well humor the dreams __________________ |
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AzulOscuro, MDDBPDPTSD
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,025
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#10
Mostly - it's like you identify who you are through someone or something else.
ie someone I care about is sad - therefore I must be sad too Or This movie is funny therefore I must be happy and laugh Or to the more extreme Someone says "My dad just went to the football game and got in an accident on the way home, I need to go to the hospital." - Therefore - "Wow! Do you need me to drive you there? I know what that's like, how stressful it can be. I hope your Dad is ok. Please let me know if he's ok." (You take on the emotion and/or imagine yourself in the circumstance of the other person in order to identify yourself and your emotions.) At least that's the best I can describe it __________________ Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away |
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Bill3, elevatedsoul
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Member
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: Kansas
Posts: 96
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#11
I don't remember were I heard this, but I have heard this being compared to being a chameleon, because we,as borderline personality disorder do not have our own real personality so we adopt others personality traits. I find the term chameleon very fitting
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AbladeintheMeadow
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
9 1,758 hugs
given |
#12
Quote:
Thank you! __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
9 1,758 hugs
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#13
Quote:
Do you really think that you don’t have a personality? Couldn’t it be so hidden and denied bc somehow you saw it invalidated from the outside when you were a kid? __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,025
8 2,609 hugs
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#14
Quote:
__________________ Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away |
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AbladeintheMeadow, AzulOscuro
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
9 1,758 hugs
given |
#15
Yes. I totally agree with you. You have to be very cautious bc if you let yourself to be overwhelmed with others’ issues, there is no helpful movement. You get stuck for your own issues and bc of the other people’s ones. It’s a catch 22 situation.
The best is to try to be yourself as much as possible and as strong as you can, that way everyone wins. __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,025
8 2,609 hugs
given |
#16
Quote:
__________________ Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away |
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Member
Member Since Jan 2016
Location: England
Posts: 215
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#17
I have been pondering this thread for an hour or more because I wanted to reply.
Unforgiven 1 I totally identify with the chameleon thing too. I am also guilty of living another person's life because I take on their likes, their emotions... People tell me I'm not the person I was. That's because I was a different set of likes & emotions then. I have no clue who I am. __________________ Always remember that you are somebody's reason to smile |
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AzulOscuro
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Member Since Jan 2016
Location: England
Posts: 215
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#18
Quote:
I don't know how to word this without it coming out wrong & I truly only want to ask this from a genuine position of not knowing where to start & I'm not expecting you to answer it, it's open to anyone who might be able to share their experiences. How do I be myself when I don't know who me is? I turn into others. The music they like, the hobbies they do, the way they dress...I have no idea who I am, what I like doing... __________________ Always remember that you are somebody's reason to smile |
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AzulOscuro
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
9 1,758 hugs
given |
#19
You’re very welcome. Since I knew that Dr Grande shares the opinion with other experts that the core for bpd is very luckily to be a poor sense of self, I’m very interested in this topic, why it takes place and what it involves.
Thanks to you for your reply. Indeed, I think to remember that I already wrote here another thread about it. __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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Member
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: Kansas
Posts: 96
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#20
Quote:
Last edited by Unforgiven1; Jan 26, 2019 at 12:24 AM.. |
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AbladeintheMeadow, AzulOscuro
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