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featheredodachi
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Default Apr 28, 2021 at 12:18 PM
  #1
Sorry for posting another thread here but I just had a thought and I thought it would be helpful. So I accidentally came across a website talking about narcissists and how to recognize them and how they abuse people and how their psyches work and stuff...
And I saw myself in every single article. I was terrified. I've been struggling with this for a long time, that question: "am I a narcissist? Am I a narcissist? Am I a monster?"

Well, I mean, I am a monster. But not a narcissist. After a lot of thought, I realized something very important. It's the title of this thread.

Borderline and Narcissistic symptoms often overlap. Narcissists are terrified of rejection. So are Borderline people. Narcissists are extremely sensitive to criticism. So are Borderline people. Narcissists often fly into a rage when they believe they are being threatened. They are hypervigilant for any sign of criticism or abandonment. So are borderline people.

The way I decided that I am not a narcissist is that I am driven to self-reflection. I like to think about my own thoughts and analyze them. I acknowledge my negative behavior as negative... even if I can't/don't do anything about it. Apparently narcissists don't do this. They refuse to accept that there is something wrong with them and they don't self-reflect.

It just struck me how much those articles I read could so easily be edited just a tiny bit to describe Borderline Personality Disorder exactly. And what infuriates me is that Borderline isn't even mentioned. So anyone that has BPD could come across those articles and panic. They could think "I'm a monster that can't be fixed and people should avoid me, I will never be able to get the love and intimacy that I need so badly" like I did.

TL;DR: Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder are different but have a lot of overlapping symptoms, and the latter is often confused for the former and its sufferers are needlessly demonized.

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Default Apr 30, 2021 at 12:27 AM
  #2
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Originally Posted by featheredodachi View Post
The way I decided that I am not a narcissist is that I am driven to self-reflection. I like to think about my own thoughts and analyze them. I acknowledge my negative behavior as negative... even if I can't/don't do anything about it. Apparently narcissists don't do this. They refuse to accept that there is something wrong with them and they don't self-reflect.
Thanks. This is helpful.

Quote:
I accidentally came across a website talking about narcissists and how to recognize them and how they abuse people and how their psyches work and stuff.. And I saw myself in every single article. Well, I mean, I am a monster. I acknowledge my negative behavior as negative... even if I can't/don't do anything about it.
Abuse is abuse. If you're calling yourself a "monster" you "can't or don't change", then distinguishing between BPD and NPD sounds like a waste of time. Innocent people have been greatly affected, so I don't get your reason to "panic" about having NDP. How would one suffer from "needlessly being demonized" if they acknowledge these patterns of abuse? Sorry. Maybe you can explain this further.

Forget the labels. Focus on the behaviors. The Dialectical Behavior Therapy is said to be helpful for BPD.
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Default Apr 30, 2021 at 07:31 AM
  #3
I agree they do overlap. They are also clumped together as Cluster B traits Personality disorders - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic

I agree the narcissist has no empathy and takes no responsibility for their actions, while the borderline traits tend to look too inward and put undue blame and shame on themselves.

I believe that the diagnoses are moving away from these terms because they all overlap so much, and the behaviors are the focus moving forward in psychology.

If you are asking yourself “Am I a narcissist?”, you are recognizing your bad behavior and are trying to improve, so good for you, keep at it.

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Default Aug 22, 2021 at 10:26 PM
  #4
I've also been diagnosed as having TRAITS of both borderline and narcissistic. I also like introspection. I find it amusing and if it never amounts to anything more than that, if i never come to any conclusions, well then, it has been an enjoyable hobby, a pleasant way to pass the time.

I always remember how wounded i was when my ex-husband said, "You think and think and think, but what you come up with is not that original."

The pain of that has passed tho and i just accept this is a dynamic i LIKE to indulge in. I'm under no illusions that it's purposeful or will lead to any ground-breaking thesis. It's just how i am.

Also, the problem for me is that personality disorders are said to occur regardless of mood state. For example, self-defeating personality disorder traits do not occur just when depressed.

When i'm hypomanic and euphoric it might look like narcissism but i also love all of humanity too and that's not narcissism at all.

When i'm depressed i am intensely bothered by traits of self-defeating personality disorder. It's very painful.

When i am mixed, i am extremely borderline.

DSM says diagnoses of traits of personality disorders are only valid when they cannot be better accounted for by mood disorders. So i can't see how i can have both.

I like the approach of solving problems in therapy regardless of diagnostic label. The diagnoses are largely for the purposes of billing insurance companies, anyways.
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Default Aug 26, 2021 at 10:50 AM
  #5
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Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
I agree they do overlap. They are also clumped together as Cluster B traits Personality disorders - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic

I agree the narcissist has no empathy and takes no responsibility for their actions, while the borderline traits tend to look too inward and put undue blame and shame on themselves.

I believe that the diagnoses are moving away from these terms because they all overlap so much, and the behaviors are the focus moving forward in psychology.

If you are asking yourself “Am I a narcissist?”, you are recognizing your bad behavior and are trying to improve, so good for you, keep at it.
Good post. I agree! Thanks for this interesting thread..

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Default May 08, 2022 at 09:27 AM
  #6
The big difference are:
BPD are empaths some- NPD are not
BPD wants to be loved- NPD wants ego boost

When I discovered this, it absolutely scared me because I couldnt stand the thought of ex gf's may have seen it that way.

My root was codendancy and fear of abandonment
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Default Oct 07, 2022 at 02:50 AM
  #7
But isn't being a narcissist different than having narcissistic personality disorder? I mean, the pop-psyche term "he's a narcissist" - isn't that something different than NPD?

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Default Oct 18, 2022 at 11:47 AM
  #8
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Originally Posted by jcl76 View Post
The big difference are:
BPD are empaths some- NPD are not
BPD wants to be loved- NPD wants ego boost

When I discovered this, it absolutely scared me because I couldnt stand the thought of ex gf's may have seen it that way.

My root was codendancy and fear of abandonment
I think there is a lot of truth in this.


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Default Oct 19, 2022 at 02:39 PM
  #9
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Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post
I think there is a lot of truth in this.


^^^ I agree. A very good description of the differences between the two disorders.

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