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Anonymous32448
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Trig Mar 26, 2023 at 04:05 PM
  #1
Rewinding back to late 2011: abusive ex (i think, with the benefit of hindsight, and reading what was said in a newspaper when the ex he had after me left him), I think he already had her lined up and she was the more attractive to him, so he decided to claim he was returning me home (to family) so he could concentrate on doing wedding stuff and we were also both going to be moving into a flat together after the wedding - that was my understanding from what turdface had told me, he dropped me and my boy cat Dylan off at family's (who agreed to let Dylan stay short term) but then when turdface never came back, months went by and I don't remember too clearly this bit but the family found out he had a new girl - on facebook

Family's reaction? "ok the wedding is not going ahead after all, despite what turdface says, lets rehome willowtigger's cat cause we don't want it here" (yeah, Mum's then-husband considered cats to be "it's"

The last actual memory I have of 2012 is leaving my Dylan with his new family, 2 weeks later they put posters up saying he had gone missing, only reason I know this is cause its in the mental health letters that got sent to my doctor, they put a lot of stuff I told the counsellor in those letters and gave me copies of them)

A few months after that, Mum's then-husband gets arrested (again, its in those letters, I don't have the actual memories) so we had to pack the minimum of stuff and go to live with my grandma, who Mum never got on with

We're into 2013 when my memories actually start again, my grandma was furious with Mum and her then-husband for rehoming Dylan, so being as we could not get Dylan back by this point, we found Ebony in rescue, they were having to give her a lot of care in rescue and the vet said he thought she wouldn't live beyond 2 years (not long after we actually got Ebony, in 2014) cause she had been picked up in such a bad condition in 2013 and the vets had done everything they could, they had told us at the time she would never live a normal life

When Ebony came to us from rescue, I was literally planning to do suicide, I really couldn't take any more traumas by that point.
Possible trigger:
I cannot be sure if I imagined them or if I actually tried to do them, they come in and out of focus in my brain and I can't be sure - even now - if they are real or not

1st January 2014 Ebony finally came to live with us at my grandma's, despite us all knowing she only had a limited time with us. Many a time when I was feeling majorly depressed she would lay down near me and allow cuddles (although she never ever allowed her tummy to get touched, which is how the cancer got missed 4 years later)

I am certain she understood traumas, she had had to watch most of her kittens die and I am also certain she associated the police with bad things - she would swish her tail and growl when a police car was nearby, and would find a hiding place where she could keep a close eye on it

Her health problems remained stable and she helped me through all the suicidal thoughts (the voice in my head) had started up in 2012 and to this day I have never got rid of him, even now he still says things cause Ebony dying in my arms at the vets in 2018 was my fault, I remember seeing years after that on a cat forum (I think) someone saying to another member there that their cat had died because they didn't "need" their cat enough - I remember a few of us had something to say about that comment there - including the moderators!

So yeah, 4 years after the vets had said that Ebony could not live beyond 2 years (meaning she would live until the year 2016 with her health conditions), despite losing the new cat that Mum got when she moved into a new place and Ebony and Tom became friends and ended up living together when Mum sent her Tom to live with me when I got my own place, cause Tom was getting aggressive by this point and Mum and younger brother were getting afraid of him, so I agreed to take him - on condition that Ebony and Tom would be happy living together, its one thing them being friends outside, but another thing them literally living together

3 months after Tom came to me, it was found that his spine was crushing itself, causing his aggression because he was getting into severe pain at that point, the rescue that Tom had come from had never checked his spine issue out, they just assumed it was arthritis and rehomed him telling Mum it was arthritis.

It was my turn at that point, to be there for Ebony, she grieved deeply for her Tom and would look for him everywhere, then sank into a depression (really bad depression) cause she could not find him anywhere

Tigger came to live with us, after Tom died, Ebony thought she was a pain in the arse at first but adjusted to her, and Tigger also helped Ebony come back from the deep greif depression she got

Despite everything Ebony had been through, all the abuse from the scumbag previous owner breaking her ribs and leaving her and her kittens to die a certain death out on the streets - when she'd been taken in to rescue, the vet had thought she would not survive at all - she was still so loving towards humans, she never offered aggression to any human - ever - not even the vet - the worst she did to the vet when the vet was doing something painful to help her, was hiss at him to tell him that was a hurtie and to stop doing it - she forgave him the minute he had stopped though

Mum actually said that any other cat would of hated humans forever after what Ebony had been through

can't remember what i already said in here, i'll get it posted and have a look

but yeah, Ebony literally saved my life

Last edited by CANDC; Mar 26, 2023 at 05:48 PM.. Reason: add trigger code remove methods of sui
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Default Mar 26, 2023 at 09:25 PM
  #2
I forgot this bit: Ebony was terrified of long things in peoples hands,at first she couldnt even deal with pens or pencils in a human hand, uer eyes would never leave the pen or pencil and she would hide under the bed or under the table, took a lot of patience to get her to the point of accepting pens and pencils or cutlery in peoples hands, anything long that was bigger than that she never got the chance to recover from that fear

Just in case the human would hit her with it

I remember one time in 2014 before i started my job, Mum had wanted to come up here to spend time with her then husband, younger brother with aspbergers was at college so i went down and they came up here, it was a ravour for a favour, i was going to look after brother and they were going to look after Tigger and Ebony, i had to text them reminders for something as simple as feeding them both cause even with them asking for food, he thought they were being pests
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