Welcome to the Borderline Personality Disorder

Welcome to PC all.

I encourage you to post in the forum below. See you there!

Hi Everyone, New here too. I haven't actually been diagnosed (yet). I have lived and managed many years functioning pretty well, but can no longer do it. I am 44 years old, have a husband and seven children, and have always known there was something "wrong" with me, but I (and everyone around me) have just dealt with it. I was watching a Dr. Phil show during the summer and he touched on some symptoms of BPD, and my jaw dropped. That was ME. After doing some investigating myself on the web for a couple of months, reading articles, taking tests, I am positive I have this disorder. It is SO hard for me to admit this to anyone. But I HAVE to. It is time I get the help that I need, and it is WAY past time that I stop putting my husband, children, and friends though the horrible roller coaster that comes along with loving or living with me. I called the number today on this psych helpline thing with my husband's insurance, and talked to a nice girl who has given me a referral in my area. Since tomorrow is a holiday, he is probably not in. I hope he can see me soon though, because I don't know if I can live in my own skin more than a couple of more days without talking to someone. I am glad this forum is here, and will probably come to read posts, and see if I can attend the chats.
Anyway, thanks for reading, hope being here can help me through this.

i have not been diagnosed but am sure i have bpd too. I have ruined every relationship i have had with family and friends and feel confused about who or what i am or want so can completely relate to you. Tell me more about yourself, i know how awful it is to feel like you have nobody at all xxx

OMG there are ppl out there like me? I'm not sure whether to jump up & down with glee, or run? Lol!

i am new to the site and i am a little confused but i am working on it

any chat sites for partners who are involved with bpd?

Hi there. I am also having challenges dealing with a family member who has bpd. Have you found many chats to help cope?
Thanks

I've already started a thread in the BPD forum, but I want to introduce myself here. I'm almost 18 years old, but I've been struggling with depression and BPD symptoms for the past 2 years. I recently went to a psychiatrist who believes I have BPD, early onset... you really can't be officially diagnosed with a personality disorder, according to what I've read, until adulthood, but many know it's possible to have a 'childhood' form of any disorder [eg, dependency, bipolar, etc.].

Both of my parents left me at some point in my life. My dad, never around to begin with but making a lot of half-hearted attempts to spend time with me; my mom, caught in a web of abusive relationships and a terrible marriage that took her away from me. I've never fully recovered from what my family has done to me, and I strongly believe that lack of structure has lead to most of my BPD issues... especially with men, and imagining abandonment. I can't have, most of the time, normal and healthy relationships with other people; the littlest things make me feel rejected or brushed off by other people. I feel like I never have enough, of anything - comfort, food, warmth, love, affection, security especially, and also success in what I do.

Right now I'm trying to find a new psych and therapist. The biggest issues I struggle with are impulsivity [eg, the need to SI or indulge in my ED behaviors if something goes wrong], rejection/abandonment problems, unexpected and intense feelings of sadness and/or rage, and a very unstable sense of self. I have some other core BPD symptoms but these are the ones that truly ruin my life... Although I suffer with probable BPD, I do have some happy moments in life. But at the same time, I think of it as - it hurts even more having those happy moments with people you love or doing what you love, since you know it's all going to come to an end, eventually. That's the hardest part.

Anyway - I hope we can all get to know each other here, and provide support to one another. I'm praying in the near future for an official diagnosis also, so I'll let everyone know how it goes. I hope everyone here is doing well. You're all in my thoughts.

XXOO

Oddly enough being told "it sounds like you have BPD" has lightened my load greatly! Talk about a light-bulb moment!! When I started to investigate what the heck it actually is.. I actually sat back in my chair and said "OMG THAT'S ME!! I do that!!" I honestly couldn't believe it.

I am just starting out on this very strange journey.. feeling alot like Alice in Wonderland actually, so please bear with me. So much info, so many places to start!

Thanks for your patience

Sway

Doc,
Do most people deny they have BPD? My wife denies it. (3 therapists tell me she is)

Almost all of us on the forum have gone through a process of denial. Most of us have tried to act "normal" and fight it for so long that admitting it feels like defeat. When I first read the traits, I INSTANTLY knew it was me. It was a lightbulb-type moment, but I also got this wrenching feeling in the pit of my stomach that screamed NO....it can't be. It's only been the last three or four months that I've owned up to the disorder....and I still can't talk to anyone about it. Deep down, she probably knows, but it's very hard to get to that point of acceptance.

Hi, I'm Carol from the cold, wet and frosty UK. Yeah, I feel like the only borderliner in the world, in fact I was born with it 30 odd years ago when it had no name, or maybe kinda ''split personality'' derived from horror films!!!!! through Psych Central I have met one very special lady friend, sorta best femail friend, this has made a great difference to my life. UK psycs don't even aknowledge BPD in the way they do bi-polar or other disorders so life is pretty hard - sometimes too hard to bare. But stay with psych central and you wont go wrong. BIG HUGS, Carol Waggiedog

Hi. After regressing I feel like I have done something to bring myself here. I hate everything and everyone. The relationship I am in? Very likely ruined. I have no idea what to do or what to say, just confused about everything and angry to boot.

Nothing like feeling worthless, lost, empty, and split. Right?

I have no idea if the community here is accepting or not, but I have nothing to lose and hopefully I can try to expose all of this to get myself away from what I am feeling, just for a bit until I can understand. Having lived with this for a while, there has to be someone out there I can talk to... So... Help?

Hi, Techscape. I've only been here a short time, but it's been my experience that the community is very accepting and caring. I hope you find some relief from sharing your experiences-- people here understand about regressing, confusion, anger, emptiness, and all the rest of the fun stuff that goes on in our minds. Welcome!

I don't know where to begin.

Finding this board has been an eye opener in to understanding myself a bit better. I've cried a few times while reading through some things here just because i've never really known anyone that -understood- what I go through emotionally.

I'm 27 and have only just recently (past few months) been diagnosed with 'symptoms' of BPD along with Major Depression. For me I wish I had been given a full diagnosis of BPD. Everything here seems..spot on for what my life and reactions are like. I've gone from diagnosis to diagnosis since I was about 12 and none of them have fit me so perfectly until now. I'm tired of doctors not wanting to settle on what's wrong with me and actually create a plan to help change things.

I never thought I was *alone* with my problems per say, but it's good to actually find people that understand.

my heart goes out to everyone who lives with this disorder. Life shouldn't be a constant rollercoaster.

Hi there Dr. and thankyou for including us borderliners in your community sites. I'm from the UK and the Dr's here mostly do not treat BPD because they say we are very unreliable and give no positive feedback, not to be trusted and basically have a bad reputation!! Great eh? Though I have to admit I certainly do fit all these things being said and more negative issues besides. I'm lead to believe these are hardly any BPD sufferers here so I've never met anybody or even heard of anybody with borderline over the last 30 years. Therefore I'm very relieved to have found your site with a place espically for BPD sufferers. Thanks again. X

Hi there. I just want to say YES I feel exactly as you do at the moment, full of hate and anger at myself and basically everybody else. OKi so I've been here a thousand times in the 30 years of suffering but I'm lead to believe BPD gets slightly better and easier to manage as you get older - NOPE, not for me, it's getting WORSE. I'm so relieved to have found this place on PC as I've been on PC for quite some time but diddn't know there was a place especially for borderliners. Only we can truely understand what it's like to suffer and suffer is absolutely the right word. Next to us I'd say family or who ever we live with also knows how awful BPD really is. What I do know is so called 'professionals' DO NOT know how we feel or why we do the things we do and at the end of the day they really can't help us. Drugs do help me somewhat but they don't help everybody, DBT is hailed as the one thing that does seem to make a difference but I have not actually tried this. I had CBT many years ago before DBT became so well used or even known about (in the UK) CBT did not help at all. I'm sure if nothing else we will find much support here so lets keep coming back and lets find 'friends' we can talk to and relate to, a thing we can't find out in the 'normal' world. Good luck. X

I am new to this site, and i just want to say thank you for making a forum for Borderline Personality Disorder, I haven't been diagnosed with it long, but I have had it for years, just no body has been able to help me out with understanding this until recently.

Hi! I'm new to this group. I don't know what to do. I suspect my husband has BPD. Our relationship is like a roller coaster.

Are there still group chats?

Hi, i just joined this site. I am a 32 y.o. man from southern England who struggles greatly with BPD and Bipolar. I've become very isolated lately, discharged from mental health service, so maybe this forum will be useful for me. So hello.

I'm new to the forum

Hi m5000 and yellow_bird1992 and welcome to the forum!

Glad to have you here Please post below when you feel ready.

Am I in the right place? My grown, newly pregnant daughter has BPD and recently kicked me out of her life..(again). Helppp, I don't want to make it worse.

I am looking for some advice myself, and don't feeli like I'm using this site correctly.