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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 559
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Jul 02, 2013 at 03:00 PM
#21
It had been 5 days but I feel like walking away from life.
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 Daisycake44, HealingTimes
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 Daisycake44
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: England
Posts: 2,087
11 560 hugs
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Jul 03, 2013 at 02:17 PM
#22
Hey Moodswing, thinking of you. Well done for being so strong.
__________________ “Change, like healing, takes time.”. Veronica Roth, Allegiant |
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| Daisycake44
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Moodswing
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 559
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Jul 04, 2013 at 11:59 AM
#23
It has been 6 days since I B/P. I will be drinking homemade Mojitos later. Bulimia and alcohol do not mix but cold minty Mojitos in the hot sun are so good
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| Daisycake44, pegasus
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 559
12 143 hugs
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Jul 04, 2013 at 08:36 PM
#24
I give up. One of these days I will make it to 7 days. I suppose once a week is better than everyday.
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| Daisycake44, pegasus, SkinnySoul
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 559
12 143 hugs
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Jul 06, 2013 at 10:56 AM
#25
Today is not going to be a good day. I can feel it. I am down on myself...how I look, my weight, my lack of confidence and faith. It is the same F'n story over and over. I just can not break the chains that bind me. I am back to wishing I die in my sleep.
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| Blegh., Daisycake44, Grey Matter
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Member
Member Since Jun 2013
Posts: 283
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Jul 06, 2013 at 03:02 PM
#26
Quote:
 I will tell you just what I should tell myself but never do:Please, don't give up. I know it sucks, I know your life's hell, I know you feel trapped and frustrated, but there IS life beyond this. You are not a different person when you put on a kilo or 5. Your beauty, inner and outer, is still there. And it still shines, despite all the tortures you put yourself into. You're still the same woman, you still carry all your good qualities with you, even on the days you spend binging and purging and feel like a complete loser. Well, the thing is that: You are NOT a loser. You are a strong person dealing with extremely tough emotions most people would have never managed to cope with sanely. B/p cycles are your way out. A root of escape... You can find another root! Your body already found one. It's your brain's turn now. You can do it. Just...please, please don't give up... __________________ 
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| Daisycake44
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Moodswing
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 559
12 143 hugs
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Jul 11, 2013 at 08:03 PM
#27
If I make through to Sunday I would have made it 7days. I am not going to make it through tonight unfortunately. Very triggered.
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| Daisycake44, pegasus, SkinnySoul
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Member Since Jan 2006
Location: Here
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Jul 12, 2013 at 04:24 PM
#28
But don't sell yourself short, you are trying. Yeah, ok sometimes you fail and you find you need a release but give yourself some credit for what you have achieved.
__________________  Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
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Moodswing
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 559
12 143 hugs
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Jul 13, 2013 at 03:25 PM
#29
Same cycle. Made it 6 days. Just lost my cookies....literally. I suppose the 3 Mojitos prior with 2 shots of rum each had something to do with it. Plus I ave not Ben feeling well emotionally and did not go to a cook out I was invited to.
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| Daisycake44
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 559
12 143 hugs
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Jul 13, 2013 at 03:36 PM
#30
Oh Dear I just desperate dialed T#1 after I purged because I am feeling horrible about myself. Thank goodness he did not answer. I can't over step my boundaries with T#2 so I knew I could not call him.
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| Daisycake44
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Q&A Leader
Member Since Jan 2006
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Posts: 94,092
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Jul 14, 2013 at 08:41 AM
#31
How are you today?
__________________ Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
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Moodswing
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 559
12 143 hugs
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Jul 14, 2013 at 08:55 AM
#32
Thanks for asking. I am slightly hungover(I did take an ambien last night so I could sleep) feeling fat, ugly, worthless. You know...the usual suspects. Now I am restricting and I exercised for an hour. I am trying to get the committee in my head to shut up so perhaps I can have a peaceful day.
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| Daisycake44, pegasus
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Member
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 318
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Jul 24, 2013 at 10:45 PM
#33
It has been 0 days since I B/P
*throws chair* I'm so hopeless before that 2 days |
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| ShaggyChic_1201
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 2,741
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Jul 27, 2013 at 04:40 PM
#34
This is the worst 3 days ever. My husband went away for a few days. My therapist invited attachment and then slammed the door in my face( I think he realized he went over board with being to involved in my care). So now every feeling of being abandoned, intrinsically broken, wanting to not be human, has flooded me. I have had 4 episodes of binging/purging. It helps for a few hours and then I feel worse about myself. I am already preparing for the next episode. I even bought food that will keep things in control and simple. If only T would just send a message asking how I am doing like he use to.
I failed him some how and he put me on the back burner. He had high hopes and I did not. He overwhelmed me with his hopes for me and it made me feel worse about myself. __________________ When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors. |
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| Becca23
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 2,741
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Jul 29, 2013 at 09:07 PM
#35
Saw my T today, my husband is home and I do not feel so alone. It was disturbing when my T, after 5 months, could not remember if I purge. He just thought I was a binge eater. That disturbed me.
__________________ When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors. |
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| Becca23
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Member
Member Since Jun 2013
Posts: 283
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Aug 19, 2013 at 06:24 AM
#36
It has been 3 days!
 It might not seem like a big deal, but for me it's HUGE, given that lately I have been binging and purging multiple times a day. 
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: United States
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Aug 19, 2013 at 12:20 PM
#37
Quote:
__________________ When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors. |
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Member
Member Since Jun 2013
Posts: 283
11 68 hugs
given |
Aug 20, 2013 at 07:28 AM
#38
Quote:
I messed up today. Zero days... I'm dealing with a lot of **** right now.I'm starting over... Wow, 6 days! You're doing good. Good luck with your efforts.
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| spondiferous
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 2,741
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Aug 29, 2013 at 04:05 AM
#39
I just realized if I make it through today it would finally be a full week.
__________________ When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors. |
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| ShaggyChic_1201
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spondiferous
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Dancer in the Dark
Member Since Feb 2012
Location: somewhere, i think.
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Aug 29, 2013 at 03:55 PM
#40
It's been about 140 days since I've purged. Feels much longer than that, and at the same time I am so grateful. Just keep going, everyone. Just keep going.
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| ShaggyChic_1201
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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