[NotOK..ItsNotTheEnd]

Hello, I am new to this site, but I am wondering if anyone has had the same experience as I have had in seeking treatment and if so any words of advice.

I have suffered from eating disorder for quite a long time (bulimia or EDNOS) with a mixture of many ED symptoms but most prominently cycling between anorexic behaviors and bulemic behaviors. I've been inpatient 5 times and done partial and Intensive outpatient but cannot sustain any progress I do make. This is not surprising when the only available treatment targets behaviors and symptoms only rather than any underlying issues...but that is for another post!

Anyway, here is my problem. The eating disorder treatment center says "you need to treat your "mental health" problems (borderline personality, anxiety, depression or possibly bipolar, OCD), first then come back and maybe can make progress on ED. Meanwhile, every mental health program or facility who I've had to fight to get in due to the ED ultimately ends up discharging me saying I need to "treat the ED first."

Ummmm...so essentially nobody is willing to help. Okay, I feel pretty hopeless about recovery the way it is then when one will accept me for help, what can I do??

Anyone run into same issue? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

I hope being on this forum goes some way to helping you.

welcome

[Unicat]

Hey there!
Incredibly relatable, but that's not going to help you. In my experience, a certain level of healthy eating (or self care in general) needs to be maintained in order to work on the underlying issues. However, as you mentioned, it's difficult to do so. For instance, going through trauma treatment requires you to be able to deal with whatever comes up in a healthy way, not coping with it through binging or purging. But reliving those traumas, triggers all the disordered behaviour to come out.
What helped me was setting goals i could keep. For instance, setting a minimum weight, a max of x behaviour per day/week/month/whatever fits your situation. Because i was motivated to work on the other problems i was having, this closed a back door. I didn't expect myself to not have eating disordered behaviour, as it was absolutely impossible (and also rather unfair) to demand that from myself. But it did keep me on track and focused on what i wanted to deal with.

I hope this makes any sense - probably not. Oh and please keep in mind I'm obviously not a professional, the only thing I'm professional at is making a mess of my life .
Lots of love and good luck, i truly hope you find a way that works for you