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Old 02-04-2021, 03:11 AM   #1
snakeswithhats
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Trig Need to rant

Please don't feel the need to reach out to me, I'll be fine but I'm currently going through a really bad phase and need to rant. Obviously don't read if this could trigger you!

Eating is so painful right now. I don't want to eat at all. I hate being able to feel my body after I eat. I hate being aware of my stomach. I think larger bodies are beautiful and there's nothing wrong with them but I hate how I look and feel and I don't understand it. Right now I can't eat without feeling nauseous. I try to throw up, I know I shouldn't, but it's so painful and I just want to escape the feeling. It hurts even more that I can never throw it all up. The foods I have to eat make it so much worse. I wish I could get a job and get the foods I want. When I don't eat I feel so much happier, it's the only time I'm relaxed. I get an entirely different mindset. I wish I could be happy when I eat. It's not just the way I look, it's being aware of my body. The feeling of being full. I don't want to be able to feel my body. I wish I could be normal.
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Old 02-04-2021, 03:12 PM   #2
Yaowen
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Dear snakeswithhats,

I am so sorry you are in that situation. I think your feelings are totally understandable given the circumstances. Wish I knew what else to say.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen
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Old 02-04-2021, 08:30 PM   #3
Purple,Violet,Blue
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So sorry, snakeswithhats

I won't press you, if you're just wanting to let off steam But I hope you have someone in your life that you can talk to about what's going on.

Take care. You are a beautiful and worthwhile person, no matter what the bulimia says!
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Old 02-07-2021, 08:33 PM   #4
Fuzzybear
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Old 02-08-2021, 05:21 AM   #5
raging vortex
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we're here for you when ever

and: I also hate how I look and feel. it's not very... well, nice for lack of a better word
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Old 02-08-2021, 03:43 PM   #6
snakeswithhats
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thank you and I'm sorry you have to go through that too, I wish you luck on getting through it <3
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Old 02-08-2021, 09:01 PM   #7
Purple,Violet,Blue
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How are you doing today, snakeswithhats?
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Old 02-09-2021, 07:29 PM   #8
snakeswithhats
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The past couple weeks have been a struggle and I still need a while but today wasn't that bad, I think I'll be okay <3 thank you for checking on me
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Old 02-09-2021, 08:00 PM   #9
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Thinking of you I'm glad you had a decent one today
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