[Trace14]

3 Serious Mistakes You Probably Make With Your Emotions by Dr. Jonice Webb

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/child...your-emotions/

Or there is a simpler solution:

Avoid your feelings all together in favor of cold hard logic.

Most of my emotions bring me pain and discomfort anyways, therefore, holding on to them and letting them run my life is fruitless.

No thank you.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

Or there is a simpler solution:

Avoid your feelings all together in favor of cold hard logic.

Most of my emotions bring me pain and discomfort anyways, therefore, holding on to them and letting them run my life is fruitless.

No thank you.

You will always be holding on to them, they will always be there. Most of us are working on getting control over them and not letting them control us. It is frustrating when they run and dictate your life and it's impossible to just shut the door on them and expect that they will not keep showing up. For most people anyway, maybe you have a superpower that can do that. But seems like it would take a lot of energy to try to hold that door shut.

Originally Posted by Trace14

You will always be holding on to them, they will always be there. Most of us are working on getting control over them and not letting them control us. It is frustrating when they run and dictate your life and it's impossible to just shut the door on them and expect that they will not keep showing up. For most people anyway, maybe you have a superpower that can do that. But seems like it would take a lot of energy to try to hold that door shut.

I detach. I do everything in my power to keep my mind too busy to think or feel whenever possible.

I bury myself in my daily activities so that I can avoid feeling anything because I know that until I become stronger and accomplish something so that I can stop being a jobless carless loser, nobody will want me anyways.

So between trying to start an online business during the day and video games or shows during the night I have plenty of things to keep my mind off my hurt.

[Gus1234U]

i like that old saying:

Lance a boil, stitch a cut.

emotions are part of life; when they cry havok, THEN we need to worry.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

I detach. I do everything in my power to keep my mind too busy to think or feel whenever possible.

I bury myself in my daily activities so that I can avoid feeling anything because I know that until I become stronger and accomplish something so that I can stop being a jobless carless loser, nobody will want me anyways.

So between trying to start an online business during the day and video games or shows during the night I have plenty of things to keep my mind off my hurt.

First off congrats in the pursuit of the online business. I hope that works out for you. I think you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to be something less than yourself. If someone is only interested in you for you job or your material possessions that doesn't sound like a good relationship anyway. But I do agree that you need to work on yourself, build your confidence, self esteem, and know you are a good person, despite the hurts. Do you think you are a good person? What makes you say you are a loser? DO you think you would be happy with a good job, material things, if you were alone and had no one to share these accomplishments with? I feel you are a good person, that you've been broken down, and are having a hard time getting out of this hole. Maybe you are realizing there's more to life than what you have been putting into it. And that you want more, a rounded life with happiness. Just guessing here, so I could be completely wrong and I mean nothing by it if I am. You deserve to be happy, but sometimes that requires work and a determination to move forward even if failures happen. I'm glad you here and we can talk. The fact that you come to a forum like this and participate shows you want to get on track with a life you would enjoy. How old are you? 20-30? 30-40? 40-50?

Originally Posted by Trace14

First off congrats in the pursuit of the online business. I hope that works out for you. I think you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to be something less than yourself. If someone is only interested in you for you job or your material possessions that doesn't sound like a good relationship anyway. But I do agree that you need to work on yourself, build your confidence, self esteem, and know you are a good person, despite the hurts. Do you think you are a good person? What makes you say you are a loser? DO you think you would be happy with a good job, material things, if you were alone and had no one to share these accomplishments with? I feel you are a good person, that you've been broken down, and are having a hard time getting out of this hole. Maybe you are realizing there's more to life than what you have been putting into it. And that you want more, a rounded life with happiness. Just guessing here, so I could be completely wrong and I mean nothing by it if I am. You deserve to be happy, but sometimes that requires work and a determination to move forward even if failures happen. I'm glad you here and we can talk. The fact that you come to a forum like this and participate shows you want to get on track with a life you would enjoy. How old are you? 20-30? 30-40? 40-50?

To answer your question, I am 25.

You're right, I do want a better life, however, I don't feel ready to devote myself to changing the way people say I should.

I'm a heavy introvert that prefers to do more introverted "nerdy" things if you will such as play video games, read, watch anime or any other fantasy show, or even listen to music and get lost in my head over dealing with people.

So the things that might make a normal person happy such as getting married and having a family for instance, don't interest me at all. I have my own way of dealing with things that most people wouldn't understand nor accept.

So yes, I do value material things over people because material things like a computer or smartphone for example, have a proven track record of making me happy whereas people have only brought me pain.

Still though, I wouldn't mind having a small group of friends or even somebody to enjoy my nerdy introverted little life of mine with, but I don't see such a thing happening for a long time if ever so there's that.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

To answer your question, I am 25.

You're right, I do want a better life, however, I don't feel ready to devote myself to changing the way people say I should.

I'm a heavy introvert that prefers to do more introverted "nerdy" things if you will such as play video games, read, watch anime or any other fantasy show, or even listen to music and get lost in my head over dealing with people.

So the things that might make a normal person happy such as getting married and having a family for instance, don't interest me at all. I have my own way of dealing with things that most people wouldn't understand nor accept.

So yes, I do value material things over people because material things like a computer or smartphone for example, have a proven track record of making me happy whereas people have only brought me pain.

Still though, I wouldn't mind having a small group of friends or even somebody to enjoy my nerdy introverted little life of mine with, but I don't see such a thing happening for a long time if ever so there's that.

I will have to disagree with you, lots of women enjoy doing nerdy things too. You are an adult now and the only person you should listen to about changing is you. A Smart phone and computer can let you down too. They can crash, just break down, so they are not that dependable either. But I get what you are saying. With computers and smart phones there's less drama. Plus they can take you a place like here where you can talk to people at a safe distance. I also get that Have interest in gaming looks like that would be a easy way to meet like people and enjoy some times together. Are there any gaming clubs around where you live? Ever thought about going to school to do something with computers and making games?
When the time is right you will know when it's time to makes some self repair. You will look in the mirror and say hey I'm a nice guy, I deserve to be loved and deserve to love someone else, something in my life is keeping me from that goal....now what is it? A lot of here are searching for a way to feel better. We are stuck in a life right now that we don't want to be in. We want to feel different, want to laugh, love and be happy again. So you are with people who are facing some of the same challenges you are. There ya go, we are your little group of people Most of us are seeing therapist. The thing with therapy is they are not going to "fix" us. They will give us some tools to work on ourselves, if you know what needs to be worked on. That's why some of these article can be eye opening for some and make them think about how much something impacts them and if that's one of the obstacles. Do you see a therapist? Ever thought about going to school to major into some type of computer programing? I know very little about computer so excuse my terminology with it. In fact I'm not much of a techno person. I have a flip phone and don't know how to text...and don't want to
I isolate a lot also and talking here is my communication for the day, other than talking to mom once a day.
So don't beat yourself up for not having the friends you want. Work on yourself and the other things will fall into place when the time is right. There's still a lot of time for you to find the special people you want in your life.

Originally Posted by Trace14

I will have to disagree with you, lots of women enjoy doing nerdy things too. You are an adult now and the only person you should listen to about changing is you. A Smart phone and computer can let you down too. They can crash, just break down, so they are not that dependable either. But I get what you are saying. With computers and smart phones there's less drama. Plus they can take you a place like here where you can talk to people at a safe distance. I also get that Have interest in gaming looks like that would be a easy way to meet like people and enjoy some times together. Are there any gaming clubs around where you live? Ever thought about going to school to do something with computers and making games?
When the time is right you will know when it's time to makes some self repair. You will look in the mirror and say hey I'm a nice guy, I deserve to be loved and deserve to love someone else, something in my life is keeping me from that goal....now what is it? A lot of here are searching for a way to feel better. We are stuck in a life right now that we don't want to be in. We want to feel different, want to laugh, love and be happy again. So you are with people who are facing some of the same challenges you are. There ya go, we are your little group of people Most of us are seeing therapist. The thing with therapy is they are not going to "fix" us. They will give us some tools to work on ourselves, if you know what needs to be worked on. That's why some of these article can be eye opening for some and make them think about how much something impacts them and if that's one of the obstacles. Do you see a therapist? Ever thought about going to school to major into some type of computer programing? I know very little about computer so excuse my terminology with it. In fact I'm not much of a techno person. I have a flip phone and don't know how to text...and don't want to
I isolate a lot also and talking here is my communication for the day, other than talking to mom once a day.
So don't beat yourself up for not having the friends you want. Work on yourself and the other things will fall into place when the time is right. There's still a lot of time for you to find the special people you want in your life.

I don't currently see a therapist because I can't afford one right now.

I am, however, officially enrolled into college for web design and my financial aid just got approved today and I am even getting a financial aid refund of over 2 grand since I don't have an income and I qualified for the maximum amount possible. I officially start June 5th and I'm pretty stoked

When I start, I will consider seeking student counseling.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

I am, however, officially enrolled into college for web design and my financial aid just got approved today and I am even getting a financial aid refund of over 2 grand since I don't have an income and I qualified for the maximum amount possible. I officially start June 5th and I'm pretty stoked

Wow - congratulations!

Really pleased for you too!

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

I don't currently see a therapist because I can't afford one right now.

I am, however, officially enrolled into college for web design and my financial aid just got approved today and I am even getting a financial aid refund of over 2 grand since I don't have an income and I qualified for the maximum amount possible. I officially start June 5th and I'm pretty stoked

When I start, I will consider seeking student counseling.

That sounds awesome!!!! Congratulations. I'm sure you will do well with this. Very excited for you! See you're not a loser, far from that.

Originally Posted by Trace14

That sounds awesome!!!! Congratulations. I'm sure you will do well with this. Very excited for you! See you're not a loser, far from that.

For the first time in my life, I don't feel like a loser.

I do plan on reinvesting at least a 3rd of my grant refund into a dropshipping/wholesale online resale business to try to turn it into an income considering the fact that I still have trouble holding a regular job.

Who knows, when I get my financial life in order so I no longer have to live with the fear of being homeless and having nobody to take care of me, I can then focus on getting to the point to where I can actually have a social life

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

For the first time in my life, I don't feel like a loser.

I do plan on reinvesting at least a 3rd of my grant refund into a dropshipping/wholesale online resale business to try to turn it into an income considering the fact that I still have trouble holding a regular job.

Who knows, when I get my financial life in order so I no longer have to live with the fear of being homeless and having nobody to take care of me, I can then focus on getting to the point to where I can actually have a social life

Wow that sounds awesome and like a plan. Keep that focus and if things don't go as planned, make another plan to stay on track. You are not a loser and don't tell yourself that. You are a unique person, worthy of love and to give love, and happiness. Very proud of you, do keep us posted on how school is going. It's going to be hard, stick with it though. This is an opportunity for you, take it seriously. The better your grades the better your chances will be of landing good jobs. This may be a challenge for you with the gaming and computer addictions. You may want to try to wean off a little now , so it will not be so hard when you get into school. Go out and take a walk for 30 minutes and give your head time to recalibrate. Keep up the good work!!!!!

[Open Eyes]

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

Or there is a simpler solution:

Avoid your feelings all together in favor of cold hard logic.

Most of my emotions bring me pain and discomfort anyways, therefore, holding on to them and letting them run my life is fruitless.

No thank you.

Avoiding your feelings is the same has holding onto them though Darkness. Most people don't realize that.

[hyggelig]

Many therapists have told me I make serious mistakes. The implication is I am denser than a black hole.

So, having only three serious mistakes to deal with is hardly overwhelming.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by hyggelig

Many therapists have told me I make serious mistakes. The implication is I am denser than a black hole.

So, having only three serious mistakes to deal with is hardly overwhelming.

Welcome to PC. Seems like everything I say and do is a form of avoidance, so tired of hearing that. But I do need to recognize what I'm doing and try to find a way to fix it or deal with it better.
A Black hole? What do you mean by dense?

[hyggelig]

Black holes are some of the strangest and most fascinating objects found in outer space. They are objects of extreme density, with such strong gravitational attraction that even light cannot escape from their grasp if it comes near enough. Black Holes: Facts

Not good for one to be without the capacity to understand.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by hyggelig

Not good for one to be without the capacity to understand.

I ask a lot of questions, not that I don't understand a concept but that I want to know more to understand more completely. My friends have threatened to buy me one of those coats with question marks all over it, it was in some add years ago. We understand a lot more than we or people realize, we are just deep thinkers

thank you for this artickle.

I am so guilty of 2 and 3 it isn't funny at all