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#1
have you ever wanted to say something to your mom and dad and couldn't for what ever reason?
well say it in here... dear mom, why is it that you treated my brother and sister with a lot more respect than you did me? |
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Anonymous50013, Fuzzybear, JustTvTroping, katydid777, KYWoman
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Fuzzybear, JustTvTroping, KYWoman, smallbluefish
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,273
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#2
Why didn't you understand that when I said I wanted to die that I wasn't throwing a fit, but that I felt that way truly?
Last edited by SorryShaped; Sep 22, 2017 at 04:27 PM.. |
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Anonymous50013, Fuzzybear, JustTvTroping, katydid777
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katydid777
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,273
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#3
Why did you call me a sissy when I cried?
Why was I forced to go to church, when you knew at 11 that I didn't believe that way? Why are you still so adamant that you were always right? Why is my divorce mostly my fault because I was the one that filed? Why do I feel like nothing I say truly matters, ever? Why don't you educate yourselves about my illness instead of just saying "I know what that is" in your authoritative tone? Why do you believe that I can just snap out of it? Why did you think my hospitalizations meant I would come home completely better? You sure as hell didn't from yours. Why am I expected to care for you when you have exercised such little care for my feelings? |
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feeshee, Fuzzybear, JustTvTroping, katydid777, KYWoman, smallbluefish
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feeshee, katydid777, KYWoman, Medusax
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#4
I know you resented us for not being girls. You wanted girls, and it wasn't enough that I took an interest in all your hobbies. It wasn't enough that I felt so guilty about being even a little masculine that I never developed classically masculine behaviors, and therefore was picked on endlessly in school.
You made me feel like being a male is a sin I committed against you. You'll never admit this. Instead you'll just keep making passive aggressive comments on the side. I only made peace with myself in this regard when I moved far away. |
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Fuzzybear, JustTvTroping, katydid777
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,273
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#5
Why haven't I ran as far and fast as I can? I know the answer. It's because you trained me to feel beholden to you and your illnesses have become my duty. Why don't I go now?
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feeshee, katydid777
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Amyjay
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#6
I am sorry you went through so much,
SorryShaped it is okay to want to say so much.. that's why this thread exists |
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feeshee, katydid777
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KYWoman
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Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Underground
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#7
Parents
I wish you were able to feel the guilt you should. I wish you could emotionally feel the enormity of the pain and irreparable harm you caused. I wish you could see it all in one place, and understand what it says about you. I wish you could let down your defenses enough to understand how despicable you are. I wish you could view yourself as society views people like you... Despicable Hated Reviled Disgusting Shameful Unacceptable Rejected We all know what happens to people like you in prison. |
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feeshee, katydid777, KYWoman
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KYWoman
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,273
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#8
Quote:
On my eventual demise, the countdown click begins on my Google accounts and family emails will with the links be sent after the 6 months of inactivity |
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katydid777, KYWoman
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Account Suspended
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Location: Middleofroad
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#9
You were the best and I miss you so much.
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*Laurie*, katydid777, smallbluefish
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Grand Magnate
Member Since May 2015
Location: earth
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#10
Dear Mom, why did you go on to have 5 more kids with 5 different men after me?
Dear Mom, why was your alcohol more important than having food in the house? Dear Mom, why did I miss my childhood because I was the defacto parent to 5 younger siblings? __________________ Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg |
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feeshee, katydid777, KYWoman, smallbluefish
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#11
Quote:
it's a neat idea. something I thought about doing too, a long time ago. but, for me, it got really hard writing about my childhood. so stopped. I don't think I ever intended to publish it, just do it as a personal project |
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katydid777
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katydid777, KYWoman
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#12
dear mom,
Possible trigger:
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feeshee, katydid777, KYWoman, smallbluefish
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katydid777, KYWoman
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Guest
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#13
and mom,
Possible trigger:
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Anonymous50013, feeshee, Fuzzybear, katydid777, KYWoman, smallbluefish
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,273
7 |
#14
I find it cathartic. I cry like hell every time I work on it, to the point that I have to stop to breathe and clear my eyes to see. When I'm finished with a part, I look at it and think "wow my life's been messed up severely. Glad I'm past that crappy point"
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feeshee, katydid777, KYWoman, smallbluefish
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katydid777
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#15
Quote:
i think that's ashame what's sad is so many people's lives have been ****ed up by parents, and I know I can't speak for everyone when I say this, but I wish I could go back. wish I could change the past.. |
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katydid777
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katydid777
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,273
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#16
No, you don't want to go back and try to change it. Learn from it instead, even if your only lesson is what not to do moving forward. I take care of my parents right now, but I'm spent with it. I really just want to leave and sleep in my car forever instead. I'm only one mean thing said from doing it, and they know it. I've told them they are literally killing me like this and my siblings know they need to help more but they rarely do.
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feeshee, katydid777, KYWoman
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#17
Quote:
maybe I worded that wrong. I do want to go back, but, erase everything. like, what would have happened if I maybe was braught up with diffrent parents, or I didn't witness endless abuse. that's what I meant, not relive the hell I went through (I need to start being clearer) but I know it can't happen this life is not a rehersal.. this is it |
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feeshee, Fuzzybear, katydid777
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Fuzzybear, katydid777
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Wisest Elder Ever
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#18
Dear parental units (and step maternal unit )
When I said I wanted to die, I meant just that, I wanted to die. I don't understand why I was never "worth it" to you and why you had to lie to me for more than 20 years. And then more lies. Why did you have to abuse and neglect me? __________________ |
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Anonymous50013, feeshee, JustTvTroping, katydid777
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katydid777
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,273
7 |
#19
Quote:
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katydid777
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,273
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#20
Mom and Dad,
We've had a run of it. I moved back in to help care for you. You're leaving on a vacation next month, and I am leaving on my own vacation too. But, one of us isn't coming back. |
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katydid777
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