[CalamityJane425]

Without revealing my age.
I was left home all alone from age 3 or 4 until I was 8 years of age when I had to be court ordered to live with that bastard Father of mine (serious Father issues).
I would remember when I was 6 or 7 years of age Mom would leave me a tray of food in my room before her & the stepfather left to go run the gas station. They owned their own business. Funny how with the money we had they couldn't get a babysitter.
I spent that day in my room afraid to wander in the house or I was told not to wander the house.
I would spend the day watching Sesame Street, PBS which is why I'm real intelligent. Julia Child was a particular favorite.
I'm afraid that all these years later I'm at the same place I was when I was a small child.
I live alone, in a small apartment. Very depressing.
I'm afraid that childhood neglect is pretty life long.
To me it's like a prison sentence.

[riptide53]

Originally Posted by CalamityJane425

Without revealing my age.
I was left home all alone from age 3 or 4 until I was 8 years of age when I had to be court ordered to live with that bastard Father of mine (serious Father issues).
I would remember when I was 6 or 7 years of age Mom would leave me a tray of food in my room before her & the stepfather left to go run the gas station. They owned their own business. Funny how with the money we had they couldn't get a babysitter.
I spent that day in my room afraid to wander in the house or I was told not to wander the house.
I would spend the day watching Sesame Street, PBS which is why I'm real intelligent. Julia Child was a particular favorite.
I'm afraid that all these years later I'm at the same place I was when I was a small child.
I live alone, in a small apartment. Very depressing.
I'm afraid that childhood neglect is pretty life long.
To me it's like a prison sentence.

Hugs to you. childhood emotional neglect has just come into its own thanks to Dr. Jonice Webb lots of info and help on things only we with this issue experience. Her info is on Psych Central. You don't have to feel like this anymore!

[BLUEDOVE]

Look up concept of "Adult Child",and if you can,a book by
John Bradshaw called "Creating Love" (for yourself). You may
also look up 'Dissociation",which may or may not refer to you.
For immediate present,try to feel some compassion for dear self.
Courage,
BLUEDOVE

[NVKitty]

Originally Posted by CalamityJane425

Without revealing my age.
I was left home all alone from age 3 or 4 until I was 8 years of age when I had to be court ordered to live with that bastard Father of mine (serious Father issues).
I would remember when I was 6 or 7 years of age Mom would leave me a tray of food in my room before her & the stepfather left to go run the gas station. They owned their own business. Funny how with the money we had they couldn't get a babysitter.
I spent that day in my room afraid to wander in the house or I was told not to wander the house.
I would spend the day watching Sesame Street, PBS which is why I'm real intelligent. Julia Child was a particular favorite.
I'm afraid that all these years later I'm at the same place I was when I was a small child.
I live alone, in a small apartment. Very depressing.
I'm afraid that childhood neglect is pretty life long.
To me it's like a prison sentence.

Hi,
I can totally relate to your thread title “Childhood Neglect Follows Me To This Day”. I’m haunted by the extreme physical, emotional and psychological neglect and abuse I suffered at the hands of my parents, too. I’m a 57 yr old adult now, and still feel like that neglected kid who hid in her room her entire childhood, trying to fly under my cruel parents radar.

I’ve read a lot of books about this subject, and have done research online trying to understand why things that happened so long ago, still haunt me today. Basically, my parents wrote on the slate of who I am, and who I’ve become. I was abused and neglected at birth, as an infant and throughout my entire childhood. I felt rejected, hated, and sad...as an adult I’m a very defensive person, I have that “get them before they get me” attitude. I have a lot of anger. I suffer from debilitating depression and anxiety. I’m nervous all the time, and like you, am alone all the time. I have three cats and a parakeet, they are pretty much my only companions.

I’ve tried counseling multiple times throughout my long life, but still can’t escape the toxic mantra in my brain that was engrained by my hateful parents. I have a very low self esteem, too.

I’m sorry for what happened to you. And I’m sorry that I’m unable to say anything to you that could help ease your pain....I’m still searching for relief myself. (((HUGS))).

[Already Gone]

Originally Posted by CalamityJane425

Without revealing my age.
I was left home all alone from age 3 or 4 until I was 8 years of age when I had to be court ordered to live with that bastard Father of mine (serious Father issues).
I would remember when I was 6 or 7 years of age Mom would leave me a tray of food in my room before her & the stepfather left to go run the gas station. They owned their own business. Funny how with the money we had they couldn't get a babysitter.
I spent that day in my room afraid to wander in the house or I was told not to wander the house.
I would spend the day watching Sesame Street, PBS which is why I'm real intelligent. Julia Child was a particular favorite.
I'm afraid that all these years later I'm at the same place I was when I was a small child.
I live alone, in a small apartment. Very depressing.
I'm afraid that childhood neglect is pretty life long.
To me it's like a prison sentence.

Your not alone

Heartwounds by Tian Dayton

I go to the bookstore or library to read without buying the book and to just get out of the house. When I am there I see all the other people doing the same thing and some on a laptop. It felt good to know I am not odd to go to a bookstore to read and escape. Everybody does, thats why we have books.

If you go regularly you will meet like minded people and develop a friendship or join a book club.

What are your interests, if you pursue them you will meet like minded people.

I like watching Dan Rather's "The Big Interview" when he talks to big stars about their personal life and it give you some insight into their problems behind the spotlight.