FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Magnate
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 2,741
10 365 hugs
given |
#1
Anyone have any articles on the consequences of a child afraid to show anger or heavy emotions out of fear of punishment? When I search articles mainly come up about boys not allowed to express emotions.
So my T hit the nail on the head I guess so to speak. We discussed how I expressed anger as a child and how the parent responded to it. Well expressing anger was dangerous as it would cause the parent to to retaliate so I just shut down as a child and hide in my room. As an adult that anger, now I know, turned inward on to myself in the form of self harm, bulimia, always shutting down when faced with issues or I go to the extreme and smash things, yell, say the most cruel things to the person (Years of therapy has calmed that down). __________________ When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors. |
Reply With Quote |
Open Eyes, TerryL
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,122
(SuperPoster!)
13 21.4k hugs
given |
#2
Anger usually comes from having fear as well as being frustrated about not having any say or voice when it comes to one's self needs.
Self harm and bulimia tend to develop out of someone's need to have "some" sense of control. Most compulsive behaviors trace back to how an individual struggled with their sense of safety and ability to gain their own personal sense of control. |
Reply With Quote |
MoxieDoxie
|
Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2011
Posts: 794
12 898 hugs
given |
#3
When the child knows what you knew (keep mouth shut), in effect,
(like myself),it learns 'how to be abused without responding'. This is carried into adulthood,and so a lot of anger is stored up without any outlet. FIRST THINGS FIRST, the person has to re-educate self in order to gain some self-worth, when that is built up,then you will feel that you are ENOUGH,and damn well WORTH protecting and responding. It is a long,hard road--but at LAST you will feel worthy,you will actually LIKE yourself. I USED to think/ feel I was no more than this . full stop--now,I do not take disrespect from ANY quarter,authority or otherwise. I'd like to suggest some books for you,which enabled me to grow and gather strength to look after myself,like myself,admire myself,help myself. "Honouring The Self", "The Six Pillars Of Self-Esteem",these 2 are by psychologist and expert on self-esteem, Nathaniel Branden. Then this one for caring for dear self: "Self-Compassion", by Kirstin Neff, she has website too. Please see these as an INVESTMENT in yourself,you will find out you are WORTH IT! Deepest Respect, P.S. If need anymore info, message me. BLUEDOVE |
Reply With Quote |
MoxieDoxie
|
Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,331
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.2k hugs
given |
#4
__________________ |
Reply With Quote |
Reply |
|