I Didn't Ask to be Born Like This

I am in so much pain. I have been diagnosed with BPD and now learning more about Childhood Emotional Neglect it all makes sense. After tons of years in therapy I finally received a diagnosis of BPD, found an awesome therapist (or so I thought). But then my financial status changed, my therapist became my best friend to me and I relied on her, and unfortunately through her trying to get me through a tough time, i now see she started enabling my BPD behavior instead of kindly letting me know the relationship could not continue. she even went to the extent of saying she was never going away. but then one day she just cut our relationship off saying she could no longer help me but she would get me into alternative treatment. never heard from her since. I have blamed myself for the failure of this relationship for so long but thanks to a friend who was in the same DBT group I have learned that this therapist has done a lot of unethical things. I can finally let go of the hurt. but i am still struggling with bpd traits. thank goodness i have found a great psychiatrist who is working with me. i know i need to find a great therapist but so frustrated at not finding anyone.

My mother suffered several miscarriages before me. I so wish I had been one of them.