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Junior Member
Member Since Aug 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 20
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#1
I am wondering if an Authoritarian/ Emotionally Distant parent in their younger days, could do a complete turnaround in their Senior years and become a loving, emotion-friendly mother in her later years of life?
My mom is now 93 yrs. old. She has changed so much emotionally in her Golden Years! There is now a 180° difference today from what she was like raising me & my three siblings like when we were still in school. She was the epitome of an Emotionally Negligent mom....any emotion we kids had was usually answered with "Shame on you!" or "You don't feel that way!" or just ignoring us. Is it possible for an Emotionally Negligent parent to suddenly begin to say "I love you!" nowadays? She never said that to until a couple years ago. And I'm 62! No touching in the old days...no kissing or hugging, either. But now she asks for hugs all the time! Thanks for reading this, my friends.... Cdogger76 |
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Mendingmysoul, Open Eyes, Travelinglady
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Open Eyes, Skeezyks
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
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#2
Well... I can't comment on this with any authority. But being 72 myself, & looking back at who I was when I was in my 20's, 30's, 40's, & even 50's I can see how much I've changed. So just from another old person's perspective, I'd say sure what you're experiencing with your mother is certainly possible. It doubtless doesn't happen all the time. But it can happen.
I would guess something like this could be the source of some angst as well since, on the one hand, you still have to deal with all of the stuff you experienced growing up with your mother as she was back then while, on the other, trying to do the best you can to respond to this whole new person your mother has turned into in the twilight of her years. |
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Cdogger76
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Cdogger76
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Veteran Member
Member Since Aug 2020
Location: LA
Posts: 530
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#3
Possibly. I found my parents very different when they were freed from the responsibility of kids and work.
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Cdogger76
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Cdogger76, Open Eyes
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Grand Member
Member Since Aug 2019
Location: Here
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#4
If your parent has truly changed ,you are very lucky.Enjoy your mom's affection and attention now.I hope my mom changes too.Hugs.
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Cdogger76, Open Eyes
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Cdogger76
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Junior Member
Member Since Aug 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 20
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#5
Thank you all for your replies!
Still dealing with the effects of both my Mom and Dad's neglect in my childhood, even though Mom is apparently trying to make up for those past mistakes by being so loving now. The neglect really affected me, deeply. I just discovered CEN a couple weeks ago. It explains so many of my insecurities today! I will never be able to talk to my mother about the CEN I and my siblings were subjected to way back then. Which brings me to my next question...... Has anyone tried to introduce their siblings to the CEN if you realize they're not aware of it happening at all? I can see symptoms from the neglect they suffered with me in them today. But I know my siblings....they would think I was just trying to get attention today (I'm the youngest of four) or they would think I'm a terrible daughter for thinking Mom ever "abused" us (I know the difference between 'neglect' and 'abuse', but my siblings are not aware of CEN yet. Has anyone enlightened their own siblings about the effects of CEN? __________________ Cdogger76 “Forgive yourself for not knowing better at the time. Forgive yourself for giving away your power. Forgive yourself for past behaviors. Forgive yourself for the survival patterns and traits you picked up while enduring trauma. Forgive yourself for being who you needed to be.” ~Audrey Kitching |
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Travelinglady
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