[Gib2018]

I had so much emotional neglect, abuse, etc...etc.. growing up from the earliest memories that I have. I have learned a lot over the years, reading, talking with therapists. I still struggle with the effects in so many parts of my life. Self esteem, social anxiety, interaction with others, especially family. Forgiveness is a great thing, but what I can't get rid of is the hurt. Sometimes it feels like things just happened yesterday and the sting is still there. Most of the time I feel that no matter how much "work" I do to feel better that I never truly will. Not really looking for suggestions I guess.... just putting out there that I think it will effect me for the rest of my life. I used to wish for happiness...that has changed to a wish for peace.

[Skeezyks]

Thanks for sharing this. I hope you find the peace you seek.

[TerryL]

abusers almost always come from abusive childhoods themselves. BUT HOW THEY TREATED YOU WAS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. you were not to blame. it was their issue. they were a product of their own upbringing. i used to see things, like most of us, purely from my point of view. i couldn't remember much of my childhood and i wanted to find out why things were the way they were so i asked my older sister about it. she explained how my mom was, how my grandmother was, how my nanny was, and all that showed me the bigger picture and the pieces of the puzzle finally came together. for myself, i don't think about the forgiveness thing but understanding made all the difference. it wasn't about me.. i hope your hurt will lessen one day and be replaced by peace and happiness. you deserve it.

[Fuzzybear]

Thank you for sharing. I'm sending hugs

[Serpentine Leaf]

I don't know of anything that can ease the hurt. I also came to a place of forgiveness, because my own parents had terrible upbringings themselves, and struggled with undiagnosed and untreated mental illness along with severe economic hardship. But it still hurts and I still can't trust others or myself, and my capacity for hope is so very fragile. Happiness seems an impossible dream to me too. All I want, like you, is a place of peace. Maybe together we can achieve it.