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Member
Gasplessy
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Member Since: Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 401
553 hugs
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#1
Please excuse me for any mistake in english
I want to briefly try to tell something I've been living the last years of my life being heavy on my parents because I thought I've been neglected during an important period of my life I blamed them for things that went wrong in my life and i've been way too aggressive to them also because i've been into a psychotic state lately I deeply regret it now that my father is passed away and my mum is getting old and i see all the kindness and the work they put in family that i failed to see before I'm not saying one must not analyze the situation and be aware of what can happen into families, but sometimes it can be dangerous, too One should be able to find a balance in judgement, i think... |
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cureav, Open Eyes, pachyderm
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Member
Gasplessy
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Member Since: Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 401
553 hugs
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#2
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Legendary
Bill3
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: USA
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#3
I try for the balanced judgment that you mentioned.
I realize that my parents tried hard and loved me, and I also realize that they had important difficulties (alcohol use disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, co-dependency) that were markedly harmful to me. My parents should have done some things differently. For example: my mother should not have been driving under the influence, and she should not have had me in the car while she did that. What should your parents have done differently? |
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New Member
Trust Issues Too
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Member Since: Mar 2020
Location: USA various
Posts: 8
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#4
The more I think about my parents, the more I realize that they had some very tangled wiring in their heads. There's no point in even thinking about intent or motive with people like that. There's no point in hating them, but there's no point trying to love them either. It doesn't matter whether or not I blame them for it all. I just move on and live my own life. That works for me.
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cureav, LilyMop
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Veteran Member
LilyMop
Hoping
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: U.S.
Posts: 709
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#5
Quote:
It sounds like you’ve done some good work with looking at your own behaviors and trying to grow emotionally. That’s excellent. I think if you could have compassion for your parents that would be a good thing. You’re right though. It’s a balance between having compassion for your parents and their troubles but also maintaining compassion for yourself. Keep making good choices to learn and grow as a compassionate human being but also continue to be a responsible and careful person. Nobody is taking care of you if you aren’t taking care of yourself. |
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Gasplessy
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Gasplessy
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Member
Misfit Toy
is the Black Sheep
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: On The Island, USA
Posts: 64
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#6
I can have compassion for my parents.....at a distance. I had to go "no contact" in order to get perspective. They both had childhood trauma which i am absolutely sure contributed to how they treated me. That being said, I could no longer live with the toxic relationship. I haven't seen nor spoken to them since my grandmother passed away 2 years ago. Before that, I had little or no contact except to see my grandmother, who lived with them at the end. I don't regret it at all, though I often wish it weren't that way.
__________________ King Moonraiser: A toy is never truly happy until it is loved by a child. |
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Bill3, Gasplessy, Open Eyes
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cureav
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Member
Gasplessy
has no updates.
Member Since: Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 401
553 hugs
given |
#7
Being childish and ungrateful in my adult time ruined my life
I was hanging around with childish people and had regressions This is only for cases where abuse is not really there To be not kind to family members is not okay, now i know it. It is not normal to be rude in general. |
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