advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Cdogger76
Junior Member
 
Cdogger76's Avatar
Cdogger76 Cold, windy, rainy here. Yuk.
 
Member Since: Aug 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 20
3 yr Member
38 hugs
given
Default Sep 05, 2020 at 03:54 PM
  #1
Admin.: I ran across this article about Childhood Emotional Neglect and thought it might be helpful on this forum. If this is not allowed, please delete, and sorry! Thank you!

24 Signs You Were Emotionally Neglected as a Child | The Mighty

__________________
Cdogger76



“Forgive yourself for not knowing better at the time. Forgive yourself for giving away your power. Forgive yourself for past behaviors. Forgive yourself for the survival patterns and traits you picked up while enduring trauma. Forgive yourself for being who you needed to be.”
~Audrey Kitching
Cdogger76 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Buffy01, fanaa, Fuzzybear, Kriss, Skeezyks, SprinkL3, Trace14
 
Thanks for this!
Buffy01, MuseumGhost, RoxanneToto, SprinkL3

advertisement
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,298 (SuperPoster!)
20 yr Member
81.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 26, 2020 at 01:40 AM
  #2
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cdogger76 View Post
Admin.: I ran across this article about Childhood Emotional Neglect and thought it might be helpful on this forum. If this is not allowed, please delete, and sorry! Thank you!

24 Signs You Were Emotionally Neglected as a Child | The Mighty
Thank you for sharing this!

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MuseumGhost, SprinkL3
Buffy01
Wise Elder
 
Buffy01's Avatar
Buffy01 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,460 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
9,664 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 01, 2020 at 04:19 PM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cdogger76 View Post
Admin.: I ran across this article about Childhood Emotional Neglect and thought it might be helpful on this forum. If this is not allowed, please delete, and sorry! Thank you!

24 Signs You Were Emotionally Neglected as a Child | The Mighty
Thank you for the link.
Buffy01 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SprinkL3
splion
Junior Member
splion has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Ontario
Posts: 18
5 yr Member
2 hugs
given
Default Nov 19, 2020 at 09:15 PM
  #4
Great post. Now that I know that... what do I do now? 😳 😳 😳
splion is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MuseumGhost, SprinkL3, unaluna
puzzclar
Elder
 
puzzclar's Avatar
puzzclar has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2010
Location: Where? US
Posts: 5,621
10 yr Member
101 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 06, 2021 at 01:48 AM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by splion View Post
Great post. Now that I know that... what do I do now? 24 Signs You Were Emotionally Neglected As Child 24 Signs You Were Emotionally Neglected As Child 24 Signs You Were Emotionally Neglected As Child
I'm right there with you. What do I do now? Especially when I live with my parents to save money. I'm an adult but when I am home I feel like a kid. Judged for everything.

Thank you for posting.
puzzclar is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MuseumGhost, SprinkL3
RoxanneToto
Grand Poohbah
RoxanneToto has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2020
Location: England
Posts: 1,692
3 yr Member
6,991 hugs
given
Default Jan 06, 2021 at 03:22 AM
  #6
Thanks for posting this! I recognise a few of these things in myself; not going to say my childhood was utterly terrible but I do think my parents focuses were on the wrong things and I feel I got invalidated a lot. Still do, actually.
RoxanneToto is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SprinkL3
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,298 (SuperPoster!)
20 yr Member
81.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 07, 2021 at 06:35 PM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cdogger76 View Post
Admin.: I ran across this article about Childhood Emotional Neglect and thought it might be helpful on this forum. If this is not allowed, please delete, and sorry! Thank you!

24 Signs You Were Emotionally Neglected as a Child | The Mighty

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SprinkL3
Mendingmysoul
Grand Member
 
Mendingmysoul's Avatar
Mendingmysoul has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2019
Location: Here
Posts: 907
3 yr Member
807 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 07, 2021 at 06:51 PM
  #8
Thank you for sharing.
Mendingmysoul is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SprinkL3
Trace14
Grand Magnate
 
Trace14's Avatar
Trace14 drowning
 
Member Since: Aug 2014
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,009
8 yr Member
2,762 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 27, 2021 at 12:47 AM
  #9
So much of this resonates with me. Though it's a little embarrassing that at age 61 I feel this way. Further that there's a child inside me that's so confused. Maybe it's just part of the PTSD. My first very traumatic experience was around 5 years old. So there's a long history.

__________________


"Caught in the Quiet"
Trace14 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MuseumGhost, SprinkL3
Trace14
Grand Magnate
 
Trace14's Avatar
Trace14 drowning
 
Member Since: Aug 2014
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,009
8 yr Member
2,762 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 04, 2021 at 01:56 AM
  #10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trace14 View Post
So much of this resonates with me. Though it's a little embarrassing that at age 61 I feel this way. Further that there's a child inside me that's so confused. Maybe it's just part of the PTSD. My first very traumatic experience was around 5 years old. So there's a long history.
*sigh* Did I post this at the wrong place?

__________________


"Caught in the Quiet"
Trace14 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
nonightowl, Raindropvampire, SprinkL3
Raindropvampire
smiling musical soul
 
Raindropvampire's Avatar
Raindropvampire tired of being tired
 
Member Since: Mar 2010
Location: Indy
Posts: 43,373 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
1,837 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 04, 2021 at 02:46 AM
  #11
No you didn't I just don't think this particular forum doesn't get a lot of traffic.

It took WELLLL into my adult years to come to terms with the fact I was neglected as a child. I always thought well I was clothed, fed and housed so I wasn't neglected right?? but there is much more to not neglecting your child than just meeting the most basic of needs.

I'm sorry your trauma started so young....it is definitely no way to begin life. I'm still learning all the ways that is has and still does affect me.

__________________
I think I need help 'cause I'm drowning in myself. It's sinking in, I can't pretend that I ain't been through hell. I think I need help---Papa Roach
Raindropvampire is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
RoxanneToto, SprinkL3, Trace14
 
Thanks for this!
MuseumGhost, RoxanneToto, Trace14
Trace14
Grand Magnate
 
Trace14's Avatar
Trace14 drowning
 
Member Since: Aug 2014
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,009
8 yr Member
2,762 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 04, 2021 at 03:09 PM
  #12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raindropvampire View Post
No you didn't I just don't think this particular forum doesn't get a lot of traffic.

It took WELLLL into my adult years to come to terms with the fact I was neglected as a child. I always thought well I was clothed, fed and housed so I wasn't neglected right?? but there is much more to not neglecting your child than just meeting the most basic of needs.

I'm sorry your trauma started so young....it is definitely no way to begin life. I'm still learning all the ways that is has and still does affect me.
I think what is really unfortunate is that the trauma's never seem to heal. That it was bad enough the first time but throughout life the wounds are reopened, trauma relived, and this continues through life.

__________________


"Caught in the Quiet"
Trace14 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MuseumGhost, Raindropvampire, RoxanneToto, SprinkL3
Raindropvampire
smiling musical soul
 
Raindropvampire's Avatar
Raindropvampire tired of being tired
 
Member Since: Mar 2010
Location: Indy
Posts: 43,373 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
1,837 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 06, 2021 at 01:27 AM
  #13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trace14 View Post
I think what is really unfortunate is that the trauma's never seem to heal. That it was bad enough the first time but throughout life the wounds are reopened, trauma relived, and this continues through life.
Yeah I don't think we ever fully heal from it. IF we are lucky it just gets enough scar tissue over it that it only twinges from time to time. I have been lucky and been able to make a semblance of peace with some of my trauma and then some of it well that's a work still in progress.

__________________
I think I need help 'cause I'm drowning in myself. It's sinking in, I can't pretend that I ain't been through hell. I think I need help---Papa Roach
Raindropvampire is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SprinkL3, Trace14, unaluna
 
Thanks for this!
MuseumGhost, Trace14, unaluna
Ellie987
New Member
Ellie987 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2021
Location: Glasgow
Posts: 2
2 yr Member
Default Jun 19, 2021 at 01:24 PM
  #14
I suffer fro life long depression anxiety and I am in recovery fro alcoholism. For years I was a burning pit of anger as I was so lonely and unhappy. Getting better at controlling my anger but CEN ruined my life. My mum was in and out of mental health facilities for many years. My father was a narcissist who doted on my brother. I was just wall paper. No one noticed or cared. Feel sad for my inner child who is hurting so much still.
Ellie987 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MuseumGhost, RoxanneToto, Skeezyks, SprinkL3
MuseumGhost
Grand Magnate
 
MuseumGhost's Avatar
MuseumGhost Fortior cotidie
 
Member Since: Apr 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,257
10 yr Member
12.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 25, 2021 at 07:40 PM
  #15
My CEN was a direct result of two factors: 1. The traumatic upbringing my mother endured, sharing a home with an alcoholic and verbally abusive father (my grandfather), and a rather spiky, cold, and distant mother of her own (my grandmother), and, 2. Both my parent's functional alcoholism which arose out of the cocktail culture of the 50's, and stayed as a permanent fixture in their lives . It was their go-to coping system, whenever things got even a little stressful. Before long , it was just a habit for them.

My brother and I suffered the bulk of their neglect. I realized this before I was completely out of my teens. But being so young, I did not have any idea of how it would go on to affect the rest of our lives. I began a course of self-help very casually, on my own, trying to analyze how their behaviours influenced my development and my thinking.

I have realized it would probably be a good time for me now, finally (since I can read whole books again and actually retain what's in them), to re-embark on some recommended reading on the topics of both CEN and being the Adult Child of Alcoholic Parents.

Any suggestions as to where top locate the first are gratefully accepted (I already have the material for the ACOA aspct of my life).
MuseumGhost is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
RoxanneToto, SprinkL3
Raindropvampire
smiling musical soul
 
Raindropvampire's Avatar
Raindropvampire tired of being tired
 
Member Since: Mar 2010
Location: Indy
Posts: 43,373 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
1,837 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 04, 2021 at 10:57 PM
  #16
Recommended Reading and Resources for Emotional Neglect

I ran across this on here a few years ago. I hope you find it helpful.

__________________
I think I need help 'cause I'm drowning in myself. It's sinking in, I can't pretend that I ain't been through hell. I think I need help---Papa Roach
Raindropvampire is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SprinkL3
 
Thanks for this!
MuseumGhost, RoxanneToto, SprinkL3
Hope Mikelson
New Member
Hope Mikelson has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2021
Location: India
Posts: 6
2 yr Member
4 hugs
given
Default Oct 08, 2021 at 02:00 AM
  #17
I relate to quite a number of points. Now, what do I do?
Hope Mikelson is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SprinkL3
canthinkofname
New Member
canthinkofname has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2021
Location: Uk
Posts: 1
2 yr Member
Default Oct 26, 2021 at 10:43 AM
  #18
Thank you for sharing the link and I can relate to most of these points.
canthinkofname is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SprinkL3
SprinkL3
Account Suspended
SprinkL3 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2021
Location: DELETED
Posts: 2,752 (SuperPoster!)
2 yr Member
10.9k hugs
given
Frown Oct 26, 2021 at 11:41 AM
  #19


I can relate to most of this.

My T has recently reminded me/us that I/we have experienced CEN. My mother was hardly around and never fought to protect me from my abusive father. I love them both, and I understand that they were struggling from their own issues. But it affected us children. My sister is in denial, but my half-siblings (from both my mom's side and dad's side in their previous marriages) are all screwed up from CEN, too. It didn't matter who they married, they all received similar treatments. We're all screwed up in similar and different ways.

My father was an alcoholic.

I was parentified, yet I fought with my sister all the time. We grew apart and are mutually estranged from one another. I tried to reach out to her during this pandemic, but she refused to have anything to do with me. Like dad did to us, she pits other family members against me.

CEN runs much deeper than individual neglect when you have siblings. When siblings are involved, CEN affects sibling relationships, and it also increases the potential for sibling abuse. I lived through constant fights with my sister. I wasn't always innocent, but I wasn't always guilty either. We were so close in age that we never really learned to get along.

My mother just passively allowed everything to happen. She turned a blind eye to the abuse that she allowed to happen. She's loving, soft-spoken, and way too submissive. She, too, was a product of child maltreatment. So, I feel sorry that my mother - now in her mid-80s - continues to people-please, and finds her only purpose in life to help others, as if parentification became her lifelong journey. She is supposed to be the one taken care of by my niece, but my unvaxxed niece and her unvaxxed boyfriend decided to have children during the pandemic. They now have two children, and they push off the babysitting duties to their great grandmother (who is vaccinated but not yet boosted because my antivaxxing family doesn't see it as a priority to take her to get her shots). My sister, who is vaccinated but not boosted, traveled many times to see our mother, who could have risked her life. I remain really upset, and there's nothing I can do about it.

The emotional abuse continues over and over again. And it worsened during this pandemic!

I wished I had severed ties with my entire family. It's hard to let go of the tie with my mother, because I do love her and worry for her health. I love her, despite her inability to love me the way I had wished. But I'll take whatever love she has to offer. The guilt becomes more severe as she ages, yet I feel even more depressed by the betrayal traumas as I age with no legacy, with crippling disabilities, and with the kind of loneliness that CEN brought about.

Anything that life stressed me out with brought about my CEN to remind me that I was nothing, that I didn't matter, that I was hated, that I was just a rag doll for others to use and abuse. Any self-esteem I had, any confidence I had, was immediately shot down whenever familiarity with my childhood was retraumatizing my adulthood.

CEN is a sore subject for me and my DID system. We all struggle in different ways - all different parts of me, who were largely created because no one cared enough to care enough as a parent. We had to become our own parents. Self-care reminds us of those trauma triggers, which is why self-care is bitterly painful - an oxymoron, if you will.

SprinkL3 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bachir, MuseumGhost
MuseumGhost
Grand Magnate
 
MuseumGhost's Avatar
MuseumGhost Fortior cotidie
 
Member Since: Apr 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,257
10 yr Member
12.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 26, 2021 at 05:45 PM
  #20
Sorry for the typos in my last entry here. I remember being pretty tired the night I wrote that.

And thank you for the recommendation, RaindropVampire.
MuseumGhost is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Raindropvampire, SprinkL3
 
Thanks for this!
Raindropvampire
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:20 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.