Parents shouting at children affects the brain

Open Eyes · Mar 24, 2021, 09:25 AM

This information belongs in this forum so those who suffered can get validated that it can genuinely hurt.
Parents shouting at kids ‘can lead to brain development problems’

Mar 24, 2021, 10:04 AM

I remember many, many times when my mother shouted at me. in most cases it was because of my mental illness, and she hated it- used say or kind of things, like when I'd overeat not this **** again, or when I'd hear voices tell me to just stop acting thick.

their were also plenty of times where she shouted at me for things that wern't my fault. once when the washing machine broke she shouted wel, if you didn't get your clothes dirty, we wouldn't have to use the ****ing machine in the first place and it wouldn't be broken. weird that she thought like that

Open Eyes · Mar 26, 2021, 06:11 AM

Well, it's not always being the one who is shouted at, but also witnessing parents shout at each other.

MuseumGhost · Sep 25, 2021, 08:45 PM

My mother had unpredictable bursts of anger, which you could never see coming (until I was a slightly more experienced teenager; and then, I found every excuse to get out of the house, as soon as my chores were done, as much as possible).

In my experience, I think this led to a fairly large mistrust of other women-in-general type of issue. It made me pretty strong, but I was also very isolated. And I remain very, very selective about who I allowed to get close to me, as friends. If I catch the first whiff of a superiority complex, or gossipy, twofaced nastiness, I'm outta there. Those are the weapons of small minds, and we underestimate them at our peril.

Fuzzybear · Oct 18, 2022, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MuseumGhost

My mother had unpredictable bursts of anger, which you could never see coming (until I was a slightly more experienced teenager; and then, I found every excuse to get out of the house, as soon as my chores were done, as much as possible).

In my experience, I think this led to a fairly large mistrust of other women-in-general type of issue. It made me pretty strong, but I was also very isolated. And I remain very, very selective about who I allowed to get close to me, as friends. If I catch the first whiff of a superiority complex, or gossipy, twofaced nastiness, I'm outta there. Those are the weapons of small minds, and we underestimate them at our peril.

I'm also very selective about who I allow to get close to me. I can't stand people who are fond of labelling others in demeaning and inaccurate ways (full of assumptions and Narcissistic tendencies) and who seem to lack an ability to self reflect. My mother was that way.

I am also absolutely NOT a fan of those women who have a Superiority Complex and gossipy, two faced nastiness. I totally agree, they are the weapons of SMALL minds. Well put. My mother was very similar, a covert Narcissist and I was ''all bad'' and ''the source of all her pain'' in her disordered mind

Apparently, the abusive Paternal Unit who called her a ''pack horse'' and married a sociopath when I was 8 and was a pathological liar..... was not even part of the cause of her pain and lack of appreciation or respect for me...yeah right.

Writing this has me a bit angry and I will refrain from editing it as I am not ''just a very quiet person''

eskielover · Oct 20, 2022, 01:29 PM

You all know that being selective about who you allow into your life IS A GOOD TRAIT. I have noticed that those who don't limit have a lot more issues in their life than those who do. That was a good thing to learn.

I have always been selective though sometimes after the fact rather than before....but I remove those who mess with my peaceful life & don't let them close if I sense that in their personalities. Learned long ago that I can be nice to people without making them a best friend or anything more than a casual acquaintance

Marie123 · Oct 21, 2022, 05:01 AM

My mother also had bursts of rage; you never knew when it would happen. Fortunately, I have wonderful women friends....who I would trust with my life. I also am very careful about who I allow into my life....I joined the army right out of high school and never went back. My mother contacted the Red Cross because I rarely contacted her,LOL

*Beth* · Oct 22, 2022, 08:48 PM

Shouting at a child should never, I mean never - for any reason - happen. No child should ever, ever have to have its life minimized by being shouted at.

downandlonely · Oct 22, 2022, 08:54 PM

My mom would shout at me a lot when she was angry at someone else. I didn't shout back, so was an easy scapegoat. My parents also shouted at each other, and my brother did (and still does) shout at everyone. Distancing myself has helped.

Possible trigger:

However, recently I keep meeting people who claim beating a child with a belt is not abuse, but a necessary form of "discipline" because children need to learn that actions have consequences. Beating children is legal in the US (not in civilized countries). For my own sanity, I had to distance myself from those "parents".

Mendingmysoul · 04:41 PM

In my case beatings happened for no apparent reason.I looked like my mom had to unload on me.

Possible trigger:

Many times she wouldn't stop until she saw some blood

and it happened infront of my siblings. Recently my sister ( the golden child) told me she has been having panic attacks.The other symptoms she explained to me sounded like ptsd. But then she was not abused.Is it possible as she witnessed my abuse and sometimes caused it( she told lies to mom and I got severely punished because of her lies),she developed those symptoms in adult life ?Witnessing my abuse has affected her too?I am trying to forget and heal from my past and on the contrary ,these days she is remembering what she has done and reiterating to me,the things she has done,the things she stole,the things she destroyed,the lies she told,the ways she got me into trouble, but in a funny way.Ofcourse I am being retraumatized because none of that is funny to me.

Mendingmysoul · Oct 23, 2022, 12:41 PM

Correction of a sentence in my post above.Please read as...It looked like my mom had to unload on me...

I came back today and saw this mistake and there is no edit button,so I am writing this post. I wrote.. I.. instead of..it..

Open Eyes · Oct 24, 2022, 04:07 PM

Witnessing abuse causes a lot of damage in a child because they are powerless to stop it and can end up doing things they later regret. A child may learn they have to
Do certain things to avoid being a target. That becomes a survival skill but it doesn’t fix the abuse they witnessed that traumatized them.

downandlonely · Oct 24, 2022, 04:13 PM

There was no physical abuse in my family, but a lot of yelling. I was usually not the one being yelled at, but it still bothered me to witness it.

Mendingmysoul · Oct 25, 2022, 12:24 PM

In my case my sibling was actively encouraged and coerced by my mom.Mom used to encourage her to call me nasty names while she was very young and trying to learn speech. So at very young age she knew ,she could get away doing a lot of mischief. She used to spit on me and while I froze ,she used to smirk at me.She knew at a very tender age ,I have no one to turn to.She wrote graffiti in my books.I got in trouble in my school.The thing is I never knew it was her,until she told me recently and started laughing her b&tt off while I listened with bewilderment. I am not sure if she does it intentionally to retraumatize me.These are funny memories for her.Someone's trauma is a laughingstock to her.WOW,just wow.

Lokebee · Nov 21, 2022, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MuseumGhost

My mother had unpredictable bursts of anger, which you could never see coming (until I was a slightly more experienced teenager; and then, I found every excuse to get out of the house, as soon as my chores were done, as much as possible).

In my experience, I think this led to a fairly large mistrust of other women-in-general type of issue. It made me pretty strong, but I was also very isolated. And I remain very, very selective about who I allowed to get close to me, as friends. If I catch the first whiff of a superiority complex, or gossipy, twofaced nastiness, I'm outta there. Those are the weapons of small minds, and we underestimate them at our peril.

I can only remember my mom yelling once in my life and that was when my stepbrother broke her wind chimes. But my dad yelled so much when I was a kid that I would get sick to my stomach when I heard him pull into the driveway

Lokebee · Nov 21, 2022, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by downandlonely

There was no physical abuse in my family, but a lot of yelling. I was usually not the one being yelled at, but it still bothered me to witness it.

Yeah. My sister got into trouble a lot. I was the “good kid” cos I never talked back. I think maybe that made me the “weak kid” really. Once my sister got my dad so mad he took his belt off and just started swinging it at her. That might have happened only once or twice. I never got beat like that. My dad really mostly just yelled. But my sister could push his buttons for sure

Metromindz · Nov 25, 2022, 07:06 AM

Parents' anger shows a negative impact on their children. It depends on the child's mentality, some children may feel fear and stress and some may become temper tantrums. This leads to mental changes in children and they develop some fear and stress in their minds, leading to the development of new disorders like autism, anxiety, etc. So, parents should act according to the mindset of their children.
Once the brain development disorders like autism and anxiety will develop in children’s minds, it will affect their personal life.

Nov 25, 2022, 05:09 PM

Hitting a child around the head probably also causes brain damage, that's partly where my trauma dyslexia came from I think

Nov 25, 2022, 05:12 PM

I remember one year (I must of been about 9 at the time) I got yelled at and sent upstairs in disgrace on Christmas day - my "crime"? Vommitting all over the Christmas presents cause I had a stomach bug .....

MuddyBoots · Nov 25, 2022, 05:22 PM

I remember lots of screaming and yelling in my early days. Not always at me, but sometimes. My dad was drunk a lot and at some point he had surgery and then went through opioid withdrawals which was awful on all of us (he threw a hatchet that landed close to my mother and me).

That explains a lot.

virali83 · Dec 10, 2022, 12:02 PM

Any kind of aggressive behavior in childhood, especially by parental figures can have lasting affects on an individual.

Blah nlah · Nov 03, 2023, 05:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I'm also very selective about who I allow to get close to me. I can't stand people who are fond of labelling others in demeaning and inaccurate ways (full of assumptions and Narcissistic tendencies) and who seem to lack an ability to self reflect. My mother was that way.

I am also absolutely NOT a fan of those women who have a Superiority Complex and gossipy, two faced nastiness. I totally agree, they are the weapons of SMALL minds. Well put. My mother was very similar, a covert Narcissist and I was ''all bad'' and ''the source of all her pain'' in her disordered mind

Apparently, the abusive Paternal Unit who called her a ''pack horse'' and married a sociopath when I was 8 and was a pathological liar..... was not even part of the cause of her pain and lack of appreciation or respect for me...yeah right.

Writing this has me a bit angry and I will refrain from editing it as I am not ''just a very quiet person''

Bro same!!!! Exact same thing
I feel judged by girls

Marie123 · Nov 03, 2023, 05:46 AM

Being yelled at is the same as having rocks thrown at you. Verbal abuse is rampant. The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life.

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Parents shouting at children affects the brain

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