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dancinglady
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Default Jul 05, 2021 at 06:52 PM
  #1
I went through 13 years of abuse by mental health professionals. There is no available legal or board actions. I tried for several years.
I also sustained years of abuse as a child.

All I hear is forgive them and move on with your life. Ok so I stated I forgive each and everyone.
I still have horrible flashbacks and memories which brings it all back. I have done EMDR, meditation and mindfulness. I have done hypnotherapy etc. nothing stops above. I have sleep problems because of the things and have been sleep deprived for 10+ years. I have been to sleep disorder clinics.

I am asking “step by step guide” on how to forgive people so I can at the age of 70 have a peaceful life? Any help is greatly appreciated.
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MuseumGhost
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Default Sep 30, 2021 at 08:17 PM
  #2
Oh, dancinglady, I'm sorry no one has responded before this.

I don't have any magic bullet kind of fixes for you. I have had to take it a day at a time, and I don't think my deprivations and bad treatment are as intense as yours were.

I do know, that for me, I have to take each individual who harmed me, and separate the bad things they did from the person. Because people are a mixture of good and bad. Then, at least, I'm able to understand a bit more of where they were at when the abuse/neglect happened. Doing this does not forgive their behaviour; but it does begin to humanize them in our minds, and make them less monstrous. And I think that is a step towards being able to forgive.

It's pretty hard work. You might only be able to focus on it for very short periods of time, and not give it any more than that, at first. I know how ruminations can spiral out of control. Take it in manageable little bits, one offender at a time.

Journaling about what you've been through might be helpful for you, too. Writing things out has a way of helping us get our heads around troubling, difficult issues.

Sending lots of sympathy and much compassion to you....
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Thanks for this!
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