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Default Oct 02, 2021 at 03:54 AM
  #1
does anyone else struggle with this?

living life technically as an adult, in an adult environment, but still having so many childhood trates?

like for exampple: being what ever age you are, and still drinking from a baby bottle- believing in santa claus, watching cartoons, listening to a fairy story at bedtime,, still putting y on the end of all your words (mummy, doggy, kitty etc) I just wonder if anyone here thinks they are struggling to live in such a grown up world, when yourself is stil feeling like a child, and wanting to be cared for like said child.
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Default Oct 02, 2021 at 03:00 PM
  #2
I do feel like that a lot. For me It engenders a fear of the future because I know the future is going come the adult challenges that I am not going to be able to handle or at least handle adequately. I certainly feel like a child in an adult world and that in many ways, similar to the ways you mentioned.

What helps me sometimes is that I have a crystal clear and sharp focal point. It is something I aim to do with crystal clarity. I got the idea by reading books by psychiatrist Viktor Frankl and by seeing the movie "Schindler's List." What I try to do each day is help people. This is my overriding and ultimate concern. If I can help even one person, then I feel my life is justified.

I read the biography of Oskar Schinder and he was pretty much a mess as a person. In a way he was like a child living in an adult world. His life was a mess. He had bad habits. His relationships were a mess. His career was pretty much a mess too, a series of business failures. But he is not remembered for any of that. He is remembered as the man who saved the lives of so many, many people during the Holocaust.

I am nowhere near his equal in that. I am not fit to untie his shoes. But I think and hope that I do help people and if the rest of my life ends up in the toilet but I am able to help people, then I was be content. Then at least in one area of life, I will not be just a child in an adult world.

I think, with the philosopher of Pascal that there are various orders. There is order of the physical realm, the order of the mental realm and the order of charity. Each one is higher than the others.
Carrying a heavy rock can be an achievement in the physical realm. Inventing a medicine to cure small pox is an achievement in the mental realm. What Schindler did was an achievement in the realm of charity which I believe, rightly or wrongly, is the highest realm and the highest kind of achievement.

After Schindler saved all those people, his life did not really improve much. He was broke all the time and had to go door to door selling light bulbs. He was all alone too. But I think he made his mark in time, history and eternity.

I also think it is important to cultivate the child inside of oneself because that is where a lot of energy and joy of living comes from. It is sad when people become too adult and are so lost in joyless striving that they lose the joy of living.

Of course I could be wrong about this and everything else I wrote. I am often wrong about stuff. But that is my opinion as of today.

There are of course times when I lose my focus and feel a dread of adult realities.
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Default Oct 03, 2021 at 08:02 AM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yaowen View Post
I do feel like that a lot. For me It engenders a fear of the future because I know the future is going come the adult challenges that I am not going to be able to handle or at least handle adequately. I certainly feel like a child in an adult world and that in many ways, similar to the ways you mentioned.

What helps me sometimes is that I have a crystal clear and sharp focal point. It is something I aim to do with crystal clarity. I got the idea by reading books by psychiatrist Viktor Frankl and by seeing the movie "Schindler's List." What I try to do each day is help people. This is my overriding and ultimate concern. If I can help even one person, then I feel my life is justified.

I read the biography of Oskar Schinder and he was pretty much a mess as a person. In a way he was like a child living in an adult world. His life was a mess. He had bad habits. His relationships were a mess. His career was pretty much a mess too, a series of business failures. But he is not remembered for any of that. He is remembered as the man who saved the lives of so many, many people during the Holocaust.

I am nowhere near his equal in that. I am not fit to untie his shoes. But I think and hope that I do help people and if the rest of my life ends up in the toilet but I am able to help people, then I was be content. Then at least in one area of life, I will not be just a child in an adult world.

I think, with the philosopher of Pascal that there are various orders. There is order of the physical realm, the order of the mental realm and the order of charity. Each one is higher than the others.
Carrying a heavy rock can be an achievement in the physical realm. Inventing a medicine to cure small pox is an achievement in the mental realm. What Schindler did was an achievement in the realm of charity which I believe, rightly or wrongly, is the highest realm and the highest kind of achievement.

After Schindler saved all those people, his life did not really improve much. He was broke all the time and had to go door to door selling light bulbs. He was all alone too. But I think he made his mark in time, history and eternity.

I also think it is important to cultivate the child inside of oneself because that is where a lot of energy and joy of living comes from. It is sad when people become too adult and are so lost in joyless striving that they lose the joy of living.

Of course I could be wrong about this and everything else I wrote. I am often wrong about stuff. But that is my opinion as of today.

There are of course times when I lose my focus and feel a dread of adult realities.


thanks for that post. it is interesting views, and that oscar Schinder person sound interesting- I have never heard of him so must get his biography.. see if my local library has it.

here's an interesting question though, in your view, do you think that nurturing your inner child has it's limits?. does their come a point, say, you look at yourself and go.. what are you doing that at your age for, or do you generally think well, if it works for you and it makes your inner child happy, just do it

example: their have been times where I've been out enjoying myself on a swing at a park, going really high and going weeeee I'm on a swing. although part of me loves it, part of me thinks oh my god.... how old are you?

so that's my question to you. where does being a child have it's cut-off point if their is one
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Default Nov 05, 2021 at 05:28 PM
  #4
This is very thought-provoking. Thanks for the opportunity to address this, raging.

I've been aware, pretty much all of my life, that since I have a powerful creative side, I would probably never conform to normal expectations that other people carry around with them. So I am a seasoned non-conformist. Dropping into child-like daydreams, fantasies, and play are kind of essential to me, to keep my creative juices flowing. I have never bent to pressure to let that side of myself go (and there has been some, from surprising directions!).

And yet, I'm a very responsible person, and have been since I first started babysitting in my early teens. And kids seem to really like me, perhaps because I never forgot what it was like to be a kid. I'm very natural and at-ease around them. I loved being a teacher-in-training, and do still wish my life had gone differently, so I could have fulfilled that urge to teach, and nurture young minds.

But I just sort of sense when it's time to pull myself up and be an adult and get on with grown-up tasks and behaviour. This might come from the fact that I was expected to carry so much on my shoulders, starting from a fairly young age, as my little sister had multiple disabilities, and Mom had all the rest of us doing helpful chores from early on---younger than many of my friends. Gradually, most of those chores sort of fell onto me, permanently; brother and youngest sister got 'passes', on a lot of it, because they were actually permanently, constitutionally irresponsible; and in my sister's case, mind-bendingly selfish, and self-absorbed, as well.

Nowadays, it's just husband and myself, because I never had any children (wanted to, desperately). If I don't do it, it's not going to get done. And that wouldn't be a good thing. So I find I can change gears fairly easily, as there is no one else to pick up the ball.
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