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Old Mar 14, 2023 at 02:55 PM
  #1
 
Refering to my current love relationship...
Is it possible that the child would be attracted to being a "home wrecker" (not compulsive and multiple, but once or twice and holding on that relationship) as a consequence of different-sex parent encouraging and responding positive to child Oedipus/Electra complex by fostering hidden romantic feelings with a child?
Looking at that dynamic, it would contain many elements of jealousy, competition and triangle.
Sadly, from my own experience, I think I'm trapped by this.
Any opinions? Thanks
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Old Mar 14, 2023 at 02:59 PM
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Can you explain a bit more,if you are comfortable?
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Old Mar 14, 2023 at 09:07 PM
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Yes, can you explain more. Are you in a role that traditionally would be called a "home wrecker"?
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Old Mar 15, 2023 at 06:08 AM
  #4
 
Ive never thought about this, and am not an expert. I understand what you are saying and think you have made a connection that is logical and possible.

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Old Mar 15, 2023 at 05:10 PM
  #5
 
Well, as a child, I felt some romanticized responses from my mom, some kind of flirting moments that I believe was initialized by me (puberty, I guess) but my mom would always stop with it as soon as I would more conciously realize what is going on.
As a kid, I never had a good relationship with my father, he was always there, but we were like a rivals. My mother would feel threatened in some way as soon as me and my father would find a common language about something.
To my parents, a relationship with a girl, or my sister with some boy, would be observed as a betrayal.
After a decade or two, after few failed relationships, I am now in a 7 year long relationship with a devorced woman 2 years younger than me, with a kid. My sister had multiple secret relationships with married men.
Like last post said, maybe I just made a connection that is logical and possible. I just wonder where did it went wrong and why I don't see myself married or with my own family in the future.
My parents just never supported idea of me and my sister having health relationships on our own and our families in future... They would just never say a thing in that direction. As if they had a secret plan and programmed each opposite sex child to stay there for them in their old age. To me they look like they're in a broken marriage for decades, only live in same house, and pretend for us everything is fine.
For years I have this feeling about their marriage. And think their sick show has crippled me and my sister. On the surface everything seems normal from outside, but just little deeper there are so many twisted dinamics, tones of denial, zero spontaneity and nothing moves on.
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Old Mar 15, 2023 at 05:42 PM
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Looks like your parents are enmeshed with their children. You were not allowed to individuate into your own selves. How old are you?
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Old Mar 15, 2023 at 06:14 PM
  #7
 
You're right. Enmeshment.
I am 40 and for 7 years now live 1000 km away in other EU country. I talk openly with them about my current relationship.
My sister is 44, still hides her relationships.
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Old Mar 15, 2023 at 10:25 PM
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Are you in therapy?If not,how about considering now?With the help of an expert you will be able to heal from the trauma of enmeshment.About your sister,she hides her relationships because she is not proud of what she is doing.She knows in her heart it's wrong to have affairs with married men.She can't help it,unless she too goes to therapy .
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