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elanlaur
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Member Since: Jun 2023
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Crazy Jun 06, 2023 at 01:34 PM
  #1
This is a term I've been familiar with for quite some time now. I am 32 now and learned of the term "emotional incest" about 10 years ago from a friend who had experienced this type of emotional abuse from her father. At the time, I was quick to dismiss that this was happening to me because I equated this with something sexual (sometimes this is a component). I am now realizing through therapy of my own and dealing with my dad's own mental illness that, yes, I in fact have been in an emotionally incestuous relationship with my dad for years. He and my mom parted ways when I was 4 and she remarried but my dad found comfort in me. I became his friend, his wife, his partner. I grew up fast because that's what was asked of me by him. I could go on and on but I'm unsure how much to share on a forum. But I need to connect with other's who have experienced this, I want to connect. I feel quite alone in this feeling. Maybe you want to talk about it. Maybe, like me, you're coming to terms with it and trying to work through the stigma of this deep well. Let's talk and share what it's like for us. Ps - I am new to forums!
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Default Jun 08, 2023 at 07:34 PM
  #2
Welcome to the forum, elanlaur.

So sorry you experienced this with your father.


I was in an emotionally incestuous relationship with my mother... I experienced what is called "parentification" as a child and, like you, grew up fast... yet, in my case, remained somewhat regressed in other ways.

I also experienced "triangulation" with my mother and grandmother (my mother's mother) which has the dynamic of victim, abuser, rescuer.

As the rescuer, I still find to this day that my instinct is to help someone else before helping myself... do you have that, as well.

I hope you find these forums to be as helpful as I do. And I wish you the best on your healing journey...
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Default Sep 01, 2023 at 08:48 AM
  #3
Yes, serious oversharing by my mother. I'm not sure I'd call it emotional incest, I've never heard that term before but it does resonate with me.
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