[Pomegranate]

I see that the topic for the Chronic Pain group was guilt recently. Since I was not there I thought I'd share all the guilt I feel due to my chronic pain, fatigue and sometimes brain fog.

I have fibro, arthritis (and other problems) in my back and early RA. I feel so guilty all the time because I can't do nearly as much as I did even 5 years ago, or last year for that matter. I try and I push myself as hard as is possible but the older I get with all this arthritis, it's tough. My husband is very good about not making me feel guilty, but I still do. I can't work, I can't do much around the house - I get the basics done and that's about it.

Having moderate to severe pain every single day is just grinding. I have all kinds of coping skills and good pain meds but it's still gets me down that my body never feels as light, as strong, or without some kind of pain as I did when I was in my early 40's. Pain every day unless I'm using my vicodin which I try to not use unless the pain is really severe, or it's just been too many days with pain and I can't take another day of even moderate pain. Guilt all the time guilt that I'm not working, that I can't paint or wallpaper the house, that I can't take the dogs out for long walks every day. Guilt, guilt, guilt.....

[Crew]

Hey Pom

If you can't make it to Chronic Pain group it's okay, nothing to be sorry about. so much for sharing. I know I feel guilty all the time and I to wish I didn't feel like this. I to have intense Chronic Pain and the pdoc's told me to take my pain meds since most, not all but most pain meds work better if they are in your system regularly.
I also hear ppl saying they will or are afraid of getting addicted to pain meds. What the doctors told meds, "If a person is truly in horrible pain or Chronic Pain...the painmed workds differently, so like me I take oxycotin and they told me to take it before the pain well, I thought that's hard since I'm in pain ALL of the Time! So I take my meds same time each day and can come off of it any time I need to.
Thanks for sharing your guilt becauise I have guilt with being sick and I know many others here that to expierence guilt as well so to all and especially you Pomgranate Take Care ThaCrew

[Pomegranate]

Thanks ((((Crew)))). I know I should have better pain relief but I had to find so hard for what I've got.... I hurt, I have chronic fatigue, I just got tired of fighting. I try to deal the best I can. Waking up into pain every morning is especially difficult - I wait an hour (if I don't have any extra physical activity to do) to see if the pain is staying the same, getting a bit better after moving around, or getting worse. Then I make my decision on pain meds. Over this past year I notice my pain is worse more often so I may have to take up the fight again for better pain relief.
Also I have to admit I've been putting off going to see a Rhuematologist. I have "doctor fatigue" and my husband isn't working right now - but we do have health insurance. And I'm afraid of all the RA drugs, my brother is on one that can make you go blind! All the other ones I hear about seem to have so many horrible side effects, I'm really scared and skeptical. But I think my body is going to beat me into submission on that.

I sooo hear you Pom, especially about doctor fatigue. Gentle, soft, feathery hugs to you.

Please try to let the guilt go. I know it's hard but it's not gonna help you out at all. Please continue to vent away in the meantime though.

I'm sorry you are in so much pain and I hope you can find some relief soon. I wish I could say I can relate and this is what I do for the pain but I don't have RA.

I have some arthritis in my neck, DDD, Fibro and CMP. (I find the nodules in CMP way more painful than the tender points of Fibro, but if you don't touch them, they don't hurt so much.)

Sadly, I've grown accustomed to the pain, and although I have my days I complain about it, for the most part I've learned to suck it up. It's NOT good to do that though, condition your body against pain. Messes up the signals when you really need a "warning."

But it's the meds for my blood disorder that I HATE taking. Meds that do bad things in the name of keeping us alive just plain suck. (Like jumpstarting leukemia.) It's a tough call to make, whether to take them or not, and I have days I convince myself I'm not going to swallow another one. Then I weigh the alternatives and I chicken out. But I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm petrified of the long term side effects.

[Atalia]

Heres a news flash
If you sit in bed and do absolutely nothing for the rest of your life, you will still be a worthy person. you have not chosen the cards you have been dealt and no one has the right to tell you what you should achieve in life, that is their opinion only. look at nature, it has a better idea of life, animals survive to eat sleep and breed, so on that basis, you have nothing to feel guilty about unless you arent doing one of the afore mentioned. ;-)